Adult telling 12 year olds to leave playground

[Wrenbird27]

This happened to my friends daughter. She was with her friends and an older man (~65ish) approached them and told them they were too old to be in the playground. He demanded that they leave before they broke equipment 'with their weight'. He was very persistent and a few of the girls were upset.

The playground was very quiet at the time - just a few other kids.

None of the parents of the 12 year olds were close by - a few of the girls phoned their Mums who arrived quickly but he was gone by then. He didn't have a child himself which the girls noted and thought was odd.

My friend says her daughter won't go there anymore. I think this is a pity as it was a safe area (I thought!) for them to hang out. If there had been more children in the playground they would have moved to the side but the girls said nobody was waiting to go on equipment. The equipment is very sturdy - I've seen adults sitting on swings in there before!

What should they have done?

Sorry, but that's on the parents of the younger children to deal with.

I have a young child and if there's older kids in the park then there's older kids in the park. They have just as much right to be there as her.

12 year olds have access to a different variety of activities than younger children, and won't get as much stimulation out of a playground. It's selfish for them to be denying the younger children who it benefits more.

But it's typical for people not recognise that they need to consider others access to shared resources, it's all me me me. Kids treating trains and restaurants like playgrounds as if the whole world revolves around these darlings.

Really messed of way of thinking

Well, it just got dealt with didn't it.

Yes but dont let your 13 year old sit on an equipment made for kids upto 8 years old.

Like what? Where can a 12 yo go to be active and play, free of charge, locally to you? Because in the village where I live, we have a library, mostly set up for younger children, 2 parks and 2 churches. Are you wanting them to spend their free time in church? And the same people who complain that a tween/teen should not be in the park complain if they are hanging around by bus shelters or outside shops. Your right to find young people intimidating does not trump their right simply to exist in communal spaces.

And I'll be making sure when my child reaches this age she knows to kindly tell anyone telling her to "move along" from a space she has every right to be in to kindly bugger off. If you are scared of older children and have taught your child to be scared of older children, that's your issue and not the problem of the older children.

These are the parents, whose children turn out to be like the 13-14 year old in your post.

Are 12 year olds incapable of running, using a bat, a ball, a racket?

Something wrong with sitting on grass?

No, and neither are 4 yos. What's your point?

Since when do 4 year olds meet up in a group to hang out?

You really don't see the difference between some 12 year olds sitting on a roundabout making tiitok videos and a 4 year old child using one?

A horrible and unfounded suspicion.

Sadly yes like the old man is being accused of all sort of things. Nobody can have a balanced discussion nowadays.

You’ve just contradicted yourself. If the kids ‘treating trains and restaurants like playgrounds’ had access to actual playgrounds to work off their energy maybe that kind of behaviour wouldn’t be such an issue. Oh, but wait - that’s selfish.

Whenever they get the opportunity to.

And nope- they are both using a piece of free-to-use, council-owned equipment in a way that does not impede anyone else's use of the park. If my daughter is on the swing and someone else wants to use it, they wait their turn. If someone else's son or daughter is on the roundabout and my daughter wants to use it, she waits her turn.

I haven't taught her that children of 12+ are scary so she's not intimidated by them. Some 12 yos are rude and belligerent, and so are some 4 and 5 yos. She just avoids them and plays with equipment away from them.

But it's typical for people not recognise that they need to consider others access to shared resources, it's all me me me.

The irony of that statement. Or does consideration and sharing only go one way?

Strange logic there. 12 year olds kids can't work of their energy unless there's a roundabout and swing to sit on and film each other, and kids run up and down on trains because they haven't had access to a playground?!

Was he in the playground or the park?

Two very high profile child abusers released from prison - both were apprehended sitting watching children in a playground. A horrible thread on MN a few months back involving a man who started harassing older kids in the playground so they would leave and give him access to the young girl he was targeting. It might not be the explanation here, but let’s not pretend it doesn’t happen.

Is it a park that your local town/parish council is responsible for and the man in question is a local councillor concerned that older children could damage the equipment?
Our village park is supposed to be under 12's but I've regular seen older teens in there when it's otherwise empty. As long as they're not damaging the equipment, or blocking the use for younger kids, I can't imagine anyone telling them to sling their hook though!

Firstly 4 year olds don't text each other to go to the local playground and hang out

Secondly, it's not a free resource, it's paid for by council tax and a shared resource, so unless you want to pay more council tax for more playgrounds, tell your 12 year olds not to go and sit on roundabouts and make tiktok videos, and go and do something constructive and beneficial instead, like learning a sport.

Well my 15 year old has fun in the park with her friends sometimes but it's the small one just down the road and they literally do just play on the rides and have a laugh. It's nearly always empty but if there are kids there, they seem to have fun playing with older children!

Why is it strange ? What’s actually very strange is the way that the question of age restrictions on playgrounds has surfaced, despite not being mentioned anywhere in the OP. If there’s no age restriction on a playground, there’s no reason a 12 year old shouldn’t be there if they are using the equipment and not causing a nuisance. At 12 they’re still a child and not incapable of enjoying playground facilities.

There's no reason a 12 year old can't lay around in bed till 4pm either.

Doesn't mean they should do that or go and do an activity for much younger children instead of doing something much more age appropriate and challenging for them.

Unreal that parents actually want their child to be that bored teenager that goes and sits on swings.

Ah, so when their children reach the age of 12, their parents, who actually pay council tax for these shared resources should tell them they’ve reached the cut off age for enjoyment of facilities placed there for all to share. Batshit.