Adult telling 12 year olds to leave playground

[Wrenbird27]

This happened to my friends daughter. She was with her friends and an older man (~65ish) approached them and told them they were too old to be in the playground. He demanded that they leave before they broke equipment 'with their weight'. He was very persistent and a few of the girls were upset.

The playground was very quiet at the time - just a few other kids.

None of the parents of the 12 year olds were close by - a few of the girls phoned their Mums who arrived quickly but he was gone by then. He didn't have a child himself which the girls noted and thought was odd.

My friend says her daughter won't go there anymore. I think this is a pity as it was a safe area (I thought!) for them to hang out. If there had been more children in the playground they would have moved to the side but the girls said nobody was waiting to go on equipment. The equipment is very sturdy - I've seen adults sitting on swings in there before!

What should they have done?

@Lincoln24 since the toddler approached her and asked for help, and the parent was alongside, I'm sure the patent was ok with it. The parent apologised to her for interfering with her climbing session, but DD was happy to help (it was holding stuff still etc)

I think you’re hearing one side of a story. Unless this is one of the very big playgrounds with a substantial area for older kids then 12 is too old to be in there and it does put off other people with appropriately aged kids who might just keeping walking because they don’t want to confront a pack of teens/preteens- just because no one was stood right there waiting for the equipment doesn’t necessarily mean they weren’t putting people off. And they’re hardly going to be telling their mums that they inappropriately climbed on the roof of the toddler train or were swearing or whatever. Or maybe they were just playing nicely on the swings and the man is a loon. Unless you were there and it for yourself I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions.

12 year olds? Really?

Yeah, and some old confused man will get persecuted and hounded out of his home. Glad I don’t live in your gutter neighbourhood.

You don't know that this particular play park was appropriate for them. Some have sections stating its for under 12s.

Unless there are specific age restrictions which are signposted or they were being a nuisance (vaping,swearing etc) then they have every right to be there and use the equipment.

Our local playground is under 12s. There’s a different area for teenagers. But I would therefore be questioning why 60 year old men were there without children.

All this drama over nothing. I can’t believe that a group of 12 year olds called their moms who then even turned up at the playground for such a non event. The results of wrapping your kids in cotton wool.

This is such a sad read. My almost ten year old is still very much a child who gets alot of enjoyment out of the park, and is certainly not "nothing but a nuisance"! She's be absolutely heartbroken if she was told she was "too old" for the park. People moan about kids growing up too fast these days, and spending their life on screens, but you want to ban kids over the age of 8 from a park. What a awful comment. My girls(8 & 10) spend alot of time at the park, we live right next to one, they often meet friends there, help younger kids build sandcastles, and dig holes, and play, like kids are supposed to do, they love an afternoon at the park. They are anything but a nuisance, infact the complete opposite when they are entertaining younger kids, helping them down the slide etc so their mums aren't having to get up every two seconds to do so.

I am shocked by the suggestion that 8 is too old for a children's play ground! 8 is still really young!

The man didn't know that they were 12 too, girls can sometimes look or act a bit older. Especially to the older generation. He may have thought they were more like 14.

My child wouldn't wait or ask to use equipment that pre-teens were hanging around on, she just wouldn't go anywhere near it which is a shame when the older ones tend to just sit around on the equipment.

Unless there are signs up stating age limits then he has no right to ask them to leave though. It's such an awkward age with limited places for them to congregate without being perceived as a nuisance unfortunately.

I'd appreciate someone doing this at my local playground tbh. Any kids older than eight or nine are nothing but a nuisance in there

When your kids are that age I imagine you’ll feel very differently.

Nothing wrong at all with 12yos in a playground as long as it’s not one reserved for younger children (which OP would surely have mentioned) and they’re not misbehaving. There’s so little provision for older children and so much hostility towards them, of the sort shown on this thread (“nothing but a nuisance”- a dreadful thing to say). Yes they probably seem enormous when your own child is only 2 but many playgrounds are intended for older children as well, and areas they’d enjoy (such as places to sit and chat) are these days taken over by parents on their phones 🤷‍♀️

I would therefore be questioning why 60 year old men were there without children.

Every playground I’ve ever been to, which is a lot because my kids are 7 and 3, has been in a public park or on a village green or similar and there’s a public footpath that goes right next to it, so loads of people walk past the playground going to/from other places. I would assume it was a set up like that, he’s walking past and sees and takes objection to their behaviour. Whether or not that objection was justified IDK but I wouldn’t be questioning why he was there unless you know for sure there’s something unusual about the location of this playground that means no one walks past.

Children are perfectly within their rights to play in a playground.
Rude old men without kids aren’t.

Well back in the day before everyone accused men of being nounces and perverts, old people like to watch children because it makes them feel youthful etc. Many studies have shown interactions with younger children and elderly have a positive effect for both parties.

I'm sure you wouldn't question why little old Betty was there without children.

Depends how aggressive the man was in his demands. I know people on here think 12 yos are practically adults with an ASBO that roam in "packs", but at the end of the day , they're still children.

So what will you do with YOUR kids once they're 10?

Depends on the time of play park, was it one with the equipment aimed for younger children? I have a 12 year old and he would look much to big to be on small playground equipment, he's taller than me standing at 5ft 9 and has an athletic build. He would have definitely been told to clear off I imagine!

Our local playground is 12 and under. Teens still go and play in there, although the vast majority are lovely and sit aside so little kids get priority.
The teens (including my 17yo) get roped in playing with the little ones, DS and his mate have gentle kick abouts with bouncy pre-schoolers.

Some playgrounds are specifically for toddlers (these are usually next to a playground for older children).

OP a random man shouldn't be approaching girls in a playground... obviously! If events were exactly as described, he was probably a local oddball. I also think he wouldn't have been so quick to tell a group of 12 year old boys what they should do.

But I will say groups of secondary school children in playgrounds are often problematic. They either hog equipment they are not playing on, swear at each other, write graffiti (and what climbing castle hasn't been graffitied) etc. I don't think I've ever seen a group of 12 year olds actually playing in a playground, and that is probably because they are at the wrong stage to do so.

Honestly OP, your 12 year old should be inside on an x-box, or in Sephora, not outside socialising and getting age appropriate unstructured exercise. Apparently middle school children are a nuisance in a playground!

I imagine he could be someone with a role on a committee or active in the community and takes on the job of commenting on the behaviour of others, particularly about how the play equipment is used or looked after. It wasn't best judgement on his part to approach a group of children he doesn't know ,but some adults won't take this on board. Is the park designed for almost teens or younger children, were they hanging around in a way that might put young children and parents off ? I think they needed to use their judgement about whether they were behaving negatively, was it fair what was being said and was there a risk in which case get away. These are the skills they are developing by being out out the community without their parents, which is the point of them having independence.

When we lived in London teens would hang out in the playpark and swear terribly. Other mothers with toddlers (mine were toddlers at the time), would appeal to them and say not to act that way in front of the little children, but they wouldn't stop. They made a joke of it by continuing, but shouting out OOOPS, SORRY! everytime. The rules posted on the gate were clear that the playground was for little children and not teens. I'm not saying I wouldn't be upset if a man harassed my teen children, but the question is why he felt the need to approach them. Was it out of the blue or were they being antisocial?

It's teens who draw the penises and write the swear words on the play equipment too. It is frustrating for a mother of small children.

Just walking past?

If he was a paedophile he would surely have engaged them in conversation rather than telling them to go away.

Our local playground is literally signposted as only for under 8s. It’s quite common