Son did terribly in GCSE’s

[Kat29]

My 16 year old got his GCSE results yesterday and they were awful. Everything was at least 2 grades below what he was predicted. He only passed 4 although that did include maths and English. All his plans have to do A-levels are in tatters, as is his confidence, and my confidence in my parenting ability. I just don’t know where to go from here. School didn’t care, they were too busy taking photos of their high achievers so no help there.

Just to offer some reassurance, I did terribly in my GCSEs, it hasn't defined me. I resat and did A'levels and then a degree and work at a Uni. My sister had terrible A Levels but has a masters and a high level job. He still has so much potential.

My son did not do well with his highers last year so couldn't go to uni. He instead went to college, did an HNC and is off to uni this year.
Nothing is a disaster, just sometimes life takes a wee different route to get to where u want.
I just want him to be happy, nothing else matters really.

This.

I say this as someone who had a literal nervous breakdown in my youth over ‘poor’ exam results - as long as he has a pass in maths and English he will be ok and most options will be open to him. So congratulations to him because the hardest part is out of the way! Obviously, they aren’t what you both had hoped or what is to his ability but this isn’t the worst news. He can still continue on most level 3 courses. Is there somewhere to sit a levels a bit further afield?

Also to be honest a levels are much more challenging than GCSEs, if he still wants to attend university he may be better off to do a btec/ access course as most unis will still accept them and the format might support higher grades.

Does he have a career path in mind?

School don't have an option to not be helpful here. You need a meeting with the head, they need to look at what has happened and why, including whether remarks are appropriate. Don't be brushed off. Is there undiagnosed ADHD/ASD?

Please don't panic here. He has got good passes in the core subjects which is great. Job number 1 is to look at his marks/papers and investigate any re-marks that may yield a higher grade. Secondly, he will have masses of options in a further education college. He will likely qualify for a level 3 btec in whatever interests him and with this he will be able to go to university to study a degree. It's a different route, but no less valid. If he has wobbled at gcse, you may find that he ends up with a better btec qual than A-Level grades.
Also, I would avoid the the panic about all your family being academic. He may not have matched the achievements of other family members but this isn't really relevant to anything here. It's a tough lesson to learn and I really feel for you and your son but life will always throw us curve balls and how you approach this challenge with him will have a really formative impact on how he copes with disappointment and setbacks going forward. A positive attitude here, whilst also acknowledging his legitimate disappointment, will hopefully help him make him feel better about a difficult point in his life journey and move through it feeling good about himself.

Different pathways to medicine. All is not lost. Foundation year programmes . Overseas universities catering for English speakers.
He is not his exam results, hard as it is form them to absorb at this age

Fantastic post @HamHook

When the shock has worn off, you need to support him to identify why this happened. If it happened due to lack of work and effort, lesson learned. He's still very young and there will be ways to try again. If however he gave it his all, then the thinking needs to be more along the lines of whether a different direction would be a better fit for his abilities. Not every person is an a academic achiever, but there are lots of directions to go in that can lead to a successful future that don't require you to be. The message now needs to be, this is not the end of the world. Keep perspective. There will be a fix or an alternative and it will be ok.

Why does everything have to come down to ASD/ADHD these days. Some people just don't do well in exam conditions, that doesn't mean they have undiagnosed autism or ADHD, or are any less academic.

Have you looked at the grade boundaries to see if he was close to a higher grade in any of them? My daughter was within 1 or 2 marks of a higher grade in 3 of her subjects so she has asked for a review of marking.
Even without this there is often a bit of flexibility with college courses and they can sometimes offer a place with less than the grades usually required.
Best of luck, I’m sure there are options out there for him.

@Kat29 DS1 didn't do all that well in his GCSE's. but he had maths and english which was enough to do a level 3 BTEC at our local FE college.

He passed that and is now off to uni to study electronic music production.

Don't lose faith, your son will find his path.

This happened to a friend of mine many, many years ago. She resat her exams, passed with flying colours (the results gave her the kick up the arse she needed!), went to a good uni, and ended up with a graduate job in finance. I’m not saying this is what is going to happen with your son, but frame it as a blip and a learning curve rather than the end of the world. I wish him all the best x

He could still do something like Btecs or T Levels? Though possibly he might need 5 passes, but having the maths and English is really helpful.
DS got to university on BTecs- not a Russell Group (!) but a very good teaching university with great industry links- no foundation year required. DD did A levels- and still had to do an extra foundation year at uni.

Hi, he can resit but do it privately. That is how I got my maths grade up. I needed to ask a school (I asked a private school as more willing to help) to let me take it there and paid the exam board to retake the subject (£70 at the time).
It seems like the end of the world but it isn’t. There might be colleges that will let him on the course he wants on the provision of retaking certain subjects and he might even be able to do them at the college?
Take a breath and then explore all options xx

but frame it as a blip and a learning curve rather than the end of the world.

This.

It's a shock when it's unexpected.

DN actually did better than expected but there were two college routes mapped out one if she had tor re-take English and maths and one where she didn't. So knowing it's a potential problem does mean you can plan either way - being blindsided like this - it's harder.

Local FE colleges should be able to help with any re-takes needed and alternative courses and finding a path through for him to get him where he wants to be.

STOP talking about all your family being academic.

That will only make him feel the odd one out, the failure.

You need information. Demand support and guidance from the experts; his school. And if they fail/refuse to give it, complain, publicise, campaign. This has to improve.

Research local sixth forms, higher education colleges etc. Find out what can be done next, as options to discuss.

It's not the end of all things - but right now what he needs is comfort and help to cope with the immediate disappointment and sadness, and build confidence.

There's a lot of practical and reputable guidance if you Google 'what do I do if child failed gcses'.

All best.

Well done to your son on passing his four exams, including Maths and English. Many, many kids struggle to achieve that, to put his success into perspective. As well as local colleges, are there other secondary schools with sixth forms within a manageable distance? Some may be happy to take him with four GCSEs inc Maths and English. If not, he has all the time in the world so an extra year won't hurt if he needs to resit anything or do an access type course for college.

I know loads of folk with great GCSEs and bog average jobs. Equally know a few folk with poor GCSEs who are really financially successful.

GCSEs really aren’t the be all and end all- loads of different routes to take.

Dont make him feel bad because of your expectations.

I didn't say 'everything has to come down to ADHD'

But it's not unusual for an unexpected exam fail to unmask this, so worth considering.

A degree isn't a purely academic exercise either.

with respect to the school, gcse results came out 24 hour ago, he is not the only child who will be in this position - so to write them off as "not helpful" already smacks of OP needing someone to blame

Also, those who did do well deserve to be celebrated, that doesnt mean the school arent helpful

OP - if he was in top sets and did all the work and this is the result, im sorry but theres very little the school can do - it may be that your son just isnt cut out for academia, there are plenty of other routes.

also - no ones life is limited at 16, at all.

So number one do not let your son see that your confidence in your parenting ability is in tatters. Assuming he doesn't generally hate your guts anyway, making him feel even worse by thinking that he's been a "bad son" to you is going to further kill his confidence and not help anyone.

Secondly, approach local colleges. I work in an FE/HE college and we have many students who take re-sit courses. It's great he's passed maths and English. Look at colleges which do the A-levels that he wanted to do. Approach them and see what they advise. If some of the subjects he wants to do A-levels in are ones he's passed at GCSE, he may be able to do a mixture of GCSE re-takes and A-levels over the next 2 years, if not, then he may need to do the re-takes FIRST, but often colleges will offer a one year GCSE program so he could do them in one year, and then go on to A-Levels. Depending on what subjects he wants to do for A-level then degree or whatever, there may also be other courses (GNVQs/Diplomas) that span GCSE and A -Level, so he may be able to start them now, without a GCSE in the subject(s) and complete them in 2/3 years with an A-level equivalent ready for uni (if that's what he wants to do).

Try ordering the papers and looking through them. Just getting the papes back is free for AQA, though I'm not sure about other boards. I've just sent one of my children's A-level papers for a re-mark as 2 x 10 mark questions were scored 3/10 and 5/10 but had 8 and 9 ticks respectively stamped on what she'd written.