Son did terribly in GCSE’s

[Kat29]

My 16 year old got his GCSE results yesterday and they were awful. Everything was at least 2 grades below what he was predicted. He only passed 4 although that did include maths and English. All his plans have to do A-levels are in tatters, as is his confidence, and my confidence in my parenting ability. I just don’t know where to go from here. School didn’t care, they were too busy taking photos of their high achievers so no help there.

Hope you can work something out. I would guess nerves may have had a part to play.

im going to assume you dont mean to but your first line comes across as incredibly smug and condescending

HRTFT but your feelings are palpable from the OP. I just hope to goodness you haven't piled your feelings on top of how your DS must already be feeling.
Bitching about the school and photos doesn't help anyone. We're you actually there? I find that odd. DD received her results last year. She said she knew she'd aced them (I have two DS who have successful careers they love, despite similar grades to your DS) because the envelope containing her results was marked and one member of staff was stood in the room with a camera taking photos of the ones with these envelopes. They weren't trying to capture random reactions.
No one is a failure at 16. Either your expectations were unrealistic or hedidn't achieve what he was capable of. What he does next is his decision, depending on why his grades were so low. Please don't let him feel like this is the end of the world.

Didn't mean that at all! I just thought that's what most people did but wondered if it's changed. I did mine 20 years ago after all! I really feel for the OP as it sounds like quite a shock.

Could he have panicked due to exam anxiety? I had this issue in my teens. I loved studying, I studied really hard but then didn't do as well in exams as I should have. One time (during an exam) my mind completely blanked out for close to an hour. Probably the sheer panic and stress. It was terrifying. I passed that exam but didn't get great marks obviously.
I had to learn how to study properly for my exams and overcome the exam anxiety too. It certainly didn’t help that we were told in those days (20 years ago) that our whole futures rested on those exams. It took some maturity, guidance and experience to learn how to study for exams. And to learn that those statements about my future weren't entirely true. I'm so glad I persevered through it though, and am in the career I have today because of it.

Anyway, it doesn't mean the academic route is closed off just because of one set of results. What's important is to try to find out if this is the route for him and what He wants to do. If he really wants an academic degree then there's a few things that may need to change, eg possibly some exam prep changes, to help with exams in the future. If he doesn't want to go down that route then that's fine too and there's loads of career options available.

If he's got maths and English it really doesn't matter- he still has a route into alevels, if he's genuinely disappointed and not just worried about your reaction this might give him a kick up the backside for motivation.

We have just been into college with our child in the same boat...they were super helpful and have offered some level 2 exams as a foundation year. Not what was planned but equally not the end of the world to gain some confidence and have some time. We are seeing another college in a bit. There are solutions out there.

Yep, there are so many options. DS is doing a L2 apprenticeship for the NHS and on similar money. He took his maths in Nov so that helped him get the apprenticeship and he needed a 4 in Eng Lang also. They weren't really fussed about any other GCSEs really. He started work 3 days after his last exam and starts his actual apprenticeship next month. It makes sense to do L2 if learning a specific job anyway. A levels aren't the be all and end all, DS will likely be higher up in his job in 2 years time than someone coming straight out of A levels and he will have the opportunity to go as far as he is able to/wants to in his career (pharmacy). He got a couple of 3s amongst his result, mostly 5s, really nothing spectacular but it allows him to continue doing something.

His best friend got a 4, 3 and the rest 2s, still has managed to get on a L2 course so I reckon your DS could get on a L3. He really hasn't limited his opportunities at all, just needs to do things via a different route.

That must be a massive shock if he was predicted good grades.

Depending on your financial situation, he might be able to do a resit year at an independent school or alternatively do online school/ tutoring along side self-study to resit his exams. Of course, these do both rely on you being able to pay the fee for sitting the exams again but this would hopefully give him the opportunity to choose what he wants to do at college.

My mum died of breast cancer during my GCSES and as a result I failed them. Did a GNVQ back then like a year college course in health and social care, which gave me the equivalent grades to be able to do a levels. I then became homeless last year of a levels so ended up in uni after a gap year working, on a higher diploma, did well enough to progress to a full degree and I was a bit older and mature (22) so got more out of it. In the end I discovered employers didn't give two hoots about my formal education and I only progressed in my career based on work experience. .. GCSEs aren't the end of the world in my experience x

@Kat29 a day later, dust settled and we have a plan.

Not sure what the 6th forms are like near you but many allow students to do a GCSE year and then A levels after that? They’re entitled (not sure if that is the right word) to stay until 19. A friend is in the same boat - just a couple of passes and will need to resit maths and English and the college seems to be supporting him (and mm!)

We were lucky in that DS passed everything, albeit with a couple of 3/4s but he got enough 6’s that the local tech college has offered him a place to do completely different A Levels without the need to resit. His dreams of medicine are over as even with 5 A* at A level, they insist on g7+ in gcses. However, he loves computers/gaming so his new A levels choices leave computers, maths, sciences etc on the table for uni.

He’s gutted he won’t be able to go to any of the colleges where his mates will be and the tech college is not anywhere near as highly respected as any of those, but we’ve decided to get him a tutor from the start. The bonus is that the college triggers contextual offers so it may help when he applies to uni. He’s happier today and reaching out to his mates.

Really hope you can find a path for you DC. Keep calling all the colleges and one of them will be able to help. It took calling 3 or 4 to find the one that helped us.

Some fabulous Apprenticeships out there, and they'll love that he's got his maths and English! I'd have a scout about and see what's out there.

You can't just assume the school are on top of it all. I believe you can do resits at colleages, but it's not ideal is it.

Less than ideal doesn't mean it can work out long term - other paths or subjects explored.

Sometime it's poor revision techniques - sometime revising is just not covered or covered badly - or needing to go slower through material or teacher absences - that been huge issue for my younger two. Some kids hide how badly things are going or just panic with exams.

Sometime it just bad paper for that child - either as topic wasn't expected by teachers or has different slant and confidence gets knocked for rest of exams.

Hopefully @Kat29 has got plan together and both start to feel more positive.

Yes what an appalling society we have in this country when we routinely subject children to 11-12 years of their childhood to a full time institution and then label them as failed when they come through it.

The whole bloody country needs to give it's head a wobble. This is no way to assess a child's future potential.

I had the same last year and it was very upsetting and confusing. I phoned around colleges and found a place for my daughter & after a few tricky months, a year later these GCSE results no longer feel important. Good luck.

Tell your son that those 'divs' and 'thickos' are doing their damned best. That attitude is appalling and I'd be so ashamed if that came out of my child's mouth.

DD1 has just enrolled in a level 1 course and she is immensely proud that she has been accepted.

Well done on your achievements esp after such difficulties

As you both should be. I wish her lots of luck and hope she loves her course.

I'd look into ways of facilitating resits, it must be a possibility?

Awful post. So unhelpful.

What an awful post.

Bully for you with your A passes. Well done you. You’ve got qualifications but clearly no empathy.

Forcing past papers on my DS and supervising him would not have gone down well at all for any of us. Do you have a teenager?

https://www.reigate.ac.uk/our-courses/intermediate-programme/

This is what my local college does for those that don’t get the expected grades. There is always a door to those that ‘fail’. Go for it!

My son only got one GCSE at 4 but the local college were so helpful offered him Level 2 equivalent to T level course in his choice course engineering along with resits for Maths & English so he will study and resit same time don’t worry 😉 local college will help him