Son did terribly in GCSE’s

[Kat29]

My 16 year old got his GCSE results yesterday and they were awful. Everything was at least 2 grades below what he was predicted. He only passed 4 although that did include maths and English. All his plans have to do A-levels are in tatters, as is his confidence, and my confidence in my parenting ability. I just don’t know where to go from here. School didn’t care, they were too busy taking photos of their high achievers so no help there.

Love your response and i completely agree, x

Aww so sorry to hear, don’t be too hard on him … my son didn’t do at all well either a few years ago now. He was meant to go on to sixth form but I managed to get him into a really good 6th form college where he resat maths and science and gained good grades and studied 2 new GCSE’s which he passed too. Then he went on to do a level 3 course ( equivalent to 3x A levels) it takes extra time but it’s worth it in the end :))

I hope your son can pick his confidence up after this but it's not the end of the world, although it might feel like it.
Out of my main High School friendship group a lot of my friends did similarly to your son. Their journey was different to mine but they all have well paying jobs now and are all successful in their own way.
I work for a former polytechnical University. One of our brightest academics also failed most of his GCSEs. After an alternative journey he's now a senior lecturer with a PhD. It might be longer term a degree apprenticeship would suit him but the traditional route isn't closed to him.
Do not let this be a defining moment for him. His journey is just going to be different.

Re mark...not cheap but maybe worth it if close grades....?

Are you me ? Every detail the same ,but I didn’t go to Uni . I trained as a nurse instead .
OP give him a big hug and consider resits at college.

Hello. Just want to support you and your son. I got my O levels more than 50 years ago in London so I have no idea how it works now. Is it possible for him to do re-sits in November whilst following the A level courses he's interested in? Is he rubbish at exams? Have you course work which shows how good he is when he's not under exam pressure? The terrible thing is that at 50 years remove, I know full well that O level results don't matter, nor does my good degree, but it's a horrible step to miss for your son and it must feel like the end of everything for him at the moment. I wish I could advise more and better, I hope you find a solution.

I know plenty who did poorly academically but got into a trade or profession and have excelled. I think they're doing better with less debt than many of us who went to University!

I know many who got into a profession/ trade and were then supported to study alongside this. It might have taken slightly longer but they are earning alot now.

I agree with whomever said you must take the emphasis off the academic success of the family! And you are definitely projecting. This whole Facebook bragging culture does not help this feeling. He will do just fine. Go straight to looks at what college courses might excite him and be accessible to him.

Even if my child got 10 Astars or whatever they're called now - I'd never go bragging on FB about that. It screams ' look how great a parent I am' and is cringe worthy. If you're comparing yourself to them, try not to. ❤️

I don't believe this is any reflection of you at all. Exams are incredibly difficult for some people! Don't fall into the keeping up with Jones' trap.

Did he do much revision??
he should retake them I’m sure he can turn it around sometimes these things can be a wake up call / reality check.

If everything had gone to plan, which Level 3 course did he want to originally do?

Don't be too disheartened.. There might be practical courses he could do if he's interested in those? Skilled trades are massively in demand.
He has English and Maths passes- Those are the important ones.

When I was at college, a mature student in his 20's got 4 'A' grade A levels in Maths , Chemistry, Biology and another subject I can't remember{Then the highest grade possible} - He said he'd bombed all his GCSE's- not got a single pass, as ''He just wasn't into school''

{He was clearly a capable student though}

Wow! I hadn’t expected so many responses. And so much advice! He has now got a place at college to do a more vocational course, and we are debating whether he should try and redo one of his GCSE’s online so that he has 5 passes. He’s still very down though 😕. The good thing is his summer job have given him loads of hours this bank holiday so that’s keeping him busy 🙂

It's not the end of the world! Our DS failed his A levels twice, did a foundation course before uni proper. Did amazing at uni ended upwithreat job at 25.

My DSS didn't go to school post 14 years old however at at 16 caught bus, train and walk having got up at 6am fr a 9am start and passed his college for the first year. However couldn't do another year as didn't have basic maths. So he got himself an apprenticeship and now at 38 is a manager. Every child excels at different ages so don't make it about you or give up. It will happen just not right now. Good luck 👍

He’s going to need English and Maths minimum if he has that - crack on

FE are really good at supporting students in this position. (I’ve taught in one). I suggest he concentrates on re-sitting them through FE and if his English/maths could be improved, do those too. He can then go on to A-levels next year. Whatever, ditch the school and get him to college.
Hopefully this disappointment will lead to him being very focused in future.
And tell him from me (lots of/varied English teaching) that this experience will give him more empathy in his future, wherever that lies. 🤔

Are you in London? Your best bet is a further education college - he could do a level 3 btec which actually are far more suited for many people and you can go to university afterwards too. There shouldn’t be so much stigma attached to non A-level pathways because these days they are actually better for securing jobs as they are much more industry relevant in terms of the practical skills employers are actually looking for.

My grandson also did badly, he was predicted much higher grades than he got. We have been to the local college who have been amazing and very helpful. They are used to this situation as it happens fairly often. My grandson has put on his big boy pants and accepted he didn't do to well. His school also was only interested in the high achievers, there were several pupils crying and were not given much support. I think it is a case of shame on you schools. Support him in anyway you can and look forward to the next chapter of his life.

I’m not sure if I’m repeating what others have said - I haven’t read the whole thread. But having been in this situation before with my (previously high achieving son) here’s my advice:

1. Look at the marks he’s achieved and grade boundaries. If he’s close to the next grade, consider and remark.
2. it’s possible to get a copy of scripts, I’d suggest doing this to get an idea of what went wrong. They’re may be little you can do now, but it could help in the future. With my son, it turned out that his handwriting was the issue (due to hypermobility in his finger joints). Essentially, they couldn’t read what he’d written. In his college/sixth form he completed all his exams on a word processor.
3. Don’t lose heart. Find a course/subjects that work for him and he can still excel.

My thoughts are, when we are academic it can be very challenging to relate to the situation where our child isn’t. I understand this. I have a child who is straight 9’s, A*s Oxford and another who really struggles with academics.
There are a few things to consider.
1: Maturity. Is your son very young for his age? There is a lot of thinking around how boys need more time to mature, and boys are generally doing worse academically than girls. Look at the writings of Richard Reeves.
2: Undiagnosed learning difficulties. Does he have executive function struggles eg organisation, time keeping etc.
3: Interest: sometimes our kids follow a path simply because all of their family have followed it, without thinking about what they genuinely suit.

It may be that academics simply aren’t his strong suit. Grades tell us very little about a person. Exam Nation, is a really good book taking about why our focus on grades is failing our kids. My interview with its author will come out next Wednesday.

Your son may suit BTEC’s or other more practical, apprenticeship-focused learning.

Try to reframe the situation into, ‘thank heavens we learned now that you might not enjoy/suit A levels so we don’t waste time trying to make you someone you’re not.

Take the lid off and get him to look at the amazing range of other options. He will take his cue from you as to whether he’s a failure or just doing made to do things that don’t suit what he has to offer.

Your suggestion is a good one, why does it matter if he is in London? FE colleges and btec courses are widespread.

is a private / independent school an option? Some set no minimum requirements even allowing resits in sixth form of english and maths. A friend's daughter managed to do Business A Level on line after similar experience all on her own, This cannot be the end I wish him much luck and you to help navigate him through this

Oh man, so very sorry but you both Mustn't beat yourselves up - tough not to, I know! Also Exams aren't everything and there's resits, there's other ways like a course in further education setting, maybe the cadets he may get more out of,or another resit establishment, or an apprenticeship or the world of work (obviously if he's of the right age etc) man, I remember crying in my bedroom over those General Certificates of Secondary Education and my late mum reassuring me by asking me random questions while I was revising, which I got right! So If your son finds core subjects things he likes , you never know could be the best tonic for the both of you! Really wish you the best 🙏

I can see there are some helpful answers here, but I just want to say, please try to stay calm… if he has English and maths, he will get on a college course I’m sure. He will be fine and so will you x

I read your post and it instantly resonated with me, not from the point of view of a parent but your son. I was predicted A's and B's, however I completely messed up and did even worse than your son and came out with 3 GCSE's, not including maths!

It wasn't easy but I still went to college, I had to sit my maths again and I actually ended up dropping out after year and doing an apprenticeship when I was 19. I worked full time for 5 years and then at 26 I decided to apply to uni as a mature student. I spent 3 years at uni and came out with a 2:1 and am now doing my dream job and earning more money than I ever have.

The point of my post is to say that right now it feels like a disaster, but things can be turned around. It may not happen in the way you or your son have planned but if he has the drive and determination he can absolutely succeed in whatever he wants to do.

At least he's got the main two; Maths and English. I only got 3 (O Levels) the first time around (Maths, Physics, and English Lang) so resat in October and got 4 in total!! I was allowed to study A Levels because back in the mid 1960s some Universities would take you with 4 O Levels if you had 3 A Levels; the required number of A Levels was only two back then, together with 5 O Levels. However, after 2 years I achieved only one A Level and so went to a Technical College (now called a Further Education College) to retake with teaching and ended up with only two, but still got into University via "Clearing" to study Applied Physics. 'Long and short', went completely 'off the rails' and "got sent down" (thrown out) after the first year. Got a job with the Scientific branch of the Civil Service who paid for me to attend Technical College and take two more A Levels and another O Level on day release and night school. After achieving these (giving a total of 4 A Levels and 5 O Levels - all STEM apart from English Language) I studied a 'sandwich course' (with 6 months Industrial Training periods back at the Scientific Civil Service) in Applied Physics at what had become the local Polytechnic (now a University). After a successful career in Technical and later Financial Sales & Marketing working in the City and then in my own Business, I took an MBA and became a University Lecturer (Senior Lecturer) retiring 18 months ago at the age of 76.

I tell you all this to show you that all is not lost! Look how bad I was and yet I still persevered and ended up in what was for me a most unlikely Academic position.

In addition to lecturing and tutoring, I was also in charge of recruitment of students for a number of Business, Marketing, and Management degree courses, and many applicants were still taking O Levels (usually English Lang. or Maths) alongside their A Levels; as long as they were successful it usually made no difference to their University achievements, - many ending up with Firsts and 2.1s. Don't despair! Where there is a will there is a way!

I have been having chats with my dd this week as she didn't do as well as she deserved to in A level Art which is her thing (although it turns out her exam was breached).
You sound like a great Mum - don't for one minute doubt yourself.
Your son may find that he excels in a new environment and the course could be the start of something amazing for him.
The fact he is upset shows he cares which means he will work hard and carry on to do great things! x