Children at a baby shower?

[RightTrainer]

If as an adult you had been invited to a baby shower at the mum to be’s house, would you take your children/ask to bring small children? Would expect it to be child friendly and not adult orientated?

Everyone Ive been to has been adults only. Adult themed games and quite vulgar decorated cakes have been a thing.
I wouldn't want kids there and have to tone things down tbh.

Adult only. Aren't they often a bit risqué?

Thanks @lazzapazza You are right that I don’t feel I can have 3 people with kids there and say no to the rest.
It’s not risqué with rude cakes, but just adult. As a thank you I’m getting an adult buffet catered and someone’s coming in to do something. Not adult just not kid friendly. Maybe I should have just not paid for things and got people to pay themselves to go to a spa or afternoon tea where it would have been easy to say no to kids.
The decorations I have been stupidly excited about and we’re going to reuse them for the christening/birthday parties going forward. I just don’t want to have to not use them and have them dismantled in the first 5mins of lots of toddlers in a small space.

Yes, most would be bringing 2 if everyone brought their kids and they would outnumber the adults and it would just be a children’s party then I was hosting and an expensive one at that and not able to talk to my friends.

No I wouldn't unless I knew they were actually invited without needing to ask

One of the people coming that invited their primary age child along, no issues with childcare, was posting about enjoying an adult feee afternoon at the last baby shower she went to! And her showers were baby free

It's so awkward, but I think it would be completely reasonable of you to explain that if everyone brought their kids there would be more kids than adults, and that you were hoping for an adult afternoon so that you can have a proper chat with everyone. Everyone knows that if there's little kids around you're lucky to finish a sentence.

I’d assume adults only usually but then if the usual for you is that kids are invited that changes it slightly. I just had a small baby shower at home and was happy for everyone’s kids to be there, mainly because most of my friends with children wouldn’t have had childcare available to attend otherwise.

Just send:

Hi Girls, looking forward to my baby shower on X Sept, just so there is no confusion, it’s adults only and no children. Hope that’s ok, thought it would be nice for the Mums to just get together this time round. Love Amy xx

I’d send a clarification message to everyone invited saying adults only, no children.

No worries if that means you can’t make it - we’ll catch up next time.

Definitely fine to say adult only. And fine to update those you previously said you could. I think it is also incredibly kind of you to have previously looked after all their kids. I would just email them all to say that it is not going to work having little ones unfortunately and you'd also really appreciate the opportunity to have some adult only time before the arrival of your little one. You really hope they can still make it but understand if they can't.

Ps. All baby showers I have been to have been adult only

I think you have to send out a message to everyone saying "just to clarify, because some people have been asking about bringing children to the baby shower. Sorry but it's adults only this time apart from babes in arms"
You don't have to have kids there if you don't want to and you don't have to make a load of excuses. It's your party and you're paying for it so you can have who you want there

I'd expect it to be adults only.

Personally I'd decline the invitation within a few minutes of receiving it. I won't support such nonsense and am glad I have never been invited to one.

I wouldn't be surprised if a few babies and small children were there (I've been to one single baby shower YEARS ago !). If I was throwing one and loads of guests had young children I'd probably make it an evening meal or afternoon tea at somewhere not for kids if I didn't want them there.

Well I’m glad you’re not my fucking friend!
I hope my friends don’t see me wanting to have a party with nice food and and activity to say thank you for their support over the last decade is nonsense. Please tell me which part I should change? Do you also rate Christmas and birthdays and wedding celebrations as nonsense too?
i guess you’ve verbalised you don’t like this American nonsense and hence why you’ve not been invited to one. Go piss on someone else’s bonfire. Yes baby shower, but it’s not sitting there receiving presents as I’ve stated.