Adultifying young kids why are people doing it?!

[SurpriseOzzy]

I just need to stop following these friends who are letting their pre-teens wear body con dresses, acrylic nails, teensy bikinis, tonnes of make up, pouting and pulling backward V signs like it’s cool!!! Wtaf is wrong with people sexualising their young daughters and sticking it on insta? Do they not realise the perverted idiots out there who will be getting off on these pics!!

Just let kids be kids.

I say that as someone was sexually abused as a pre-teen!!!

My daughter likes fake nails (I only let her have stick on ones with pads), Nike pro shorts, make up etc. She also does climbing, plays netball and spends every opportunity up a tree or wading through streams. It doesn't have to be one or the other. (Although to be fair the climbing and netball limit opportunities for the horrible fake nails).

Just because you see kids looking like this don't assume they aren't still acting like kids. The make up and dressing up is a form of playing as well.

I did it when I was young. I've not grown up to become a vacuous airhead. I'm a physics teacher who barely wears make up. I've certainly not encouraged my daughter to like these things, because I don't like them myself these days.

I do agree that internet exposure is a bad thing though but it's virtually impossible to stop as it's how all their friends communicate. She has already lost touch with some friends because everything is organised via snap chat which she isn't allowed to have. She has WhatsApp and I check her phone.

We banned my son's smart phone for a while because he wasn't using it responsibly. We gave it back after a year because he was becoming socially isolated.

I have a friend / colleague who dresses her 5 year old kid with red lipstick and false eyelashes and nails. Mum is very much into that look and I think as someone upthread says it’s all about the ‘she’s such a mini me’ ‘out shopping with my bestie’ etc vibe.

Mum is a very kind person but is going so far down this rabbit hole that I struggle to spend time with her and block her occasionally on social media.

Kids are not your besties they are your children.

Granted I accept the white fox hoodies are not so much of an issue, it’s the cloning I guess that gets to me.

Children being ‘too old to play’ is definitely one of the more worrying recent developments as it’s one of the main ways they learn.

Agree @Ghosttofu99

Reading this thread makes me feel forever glad I home educated my kids for most of their school years, They had friends of course, had lots of fun but always felt able to be themselves, choose to do whatever they wanted without feeling the need to observe trends.

Name changed for this as I feel a bit tight for commenting but there is a girl like this in our family and I can't say anything to her Mum, but it is a worry and I don't think she is being given the best start in life.

Clever girl who was good at school in primary, now just interested in makeup, social media and dancing.

Started getting her nails done with her mum at 3 years old. Was given access to YouTube to watch videos of people putting makeup on so she has been doing this since about 10 or 11 and has been bought just clothes and makeup for birthdays and Christmas since then.

Is 13 now and appears at family meets in clingy, short, bodycon dresses with so much makeup on that she actually looks filtered in real life. She is having expensive cuts and colours that require maintenance.

Has had access to tiktok for ages and now she can post on FB. Always wearing cropped tops, lots of makeup, tight clothing, coquettish poses, pouts, filters, v signs. Comments from close family members just "Beautiful/gorgeous girl" on repeat.

She does have a hobby, which is dancing, but it's full on and doesn't leave any time for anything else. Private classes, shows every other weekend, more makeup, more outfits, more social media posts.

I just find it a bit of a worry. She doesn't seem interested in school anymore and we never hear of any other achievements other than she got 3rd for street dance in some show somewhere. She isn't daft at all but I feel like her Mum might have liked her being a best friend type and not tried to let her develop into a well rounded girl with a wide range of interests. I also feel there is a "Girls will be girls" attitude that it is inevitable that they will all want to plaster themselves in makeup and crop tops and its all quite endearing and innocent. I feel like the parents should be presenting other ways to be, or pointing out that we don't need all this sort of thing every day of the week and that's not the sum or the value of being a girl or a young woman. I hope she finds her way, I really do.

Know it's not the same but I was thinking about this today when I couldn't find my toddlers swim stuff.

Is a strange that very young girls are expected to wear something on their top half for swimming before there is anything there? Don't know, just wondering.

She's 8 now but has had the phone since she was seven

I'd like to know how to make a 12 yr old do team sports. Dd is just not interested. What should I do, drive her there and leave her? She has her own mind.

She's grown up in a feminist household, with feminist ally dad and db. But this is a girl bang into makeup and brands, not that she's gets very far with them.

My rebellion was full on scruff and loud, abrasive music. Dd's rebellion appears to be taking the form of conforming to the norm. I'm both amused and slightly disappointed, but concede that her path through high school will be easier thanmine was. And I would bet anything that she gets bored with the makeup thing before the she i was even getting into it.

This could be written about the teenage daughters of two of my dearest friends. And, consequently, most of the girls at their separate and very competitive dance schools.

Two things in common with your post...Dancing and TikTok. I do think a lot of it stems heavily from TikTok but the makeup/image conscious behaviour that was already pervasive in the dance world has joined the whole TikTok explosion and created a monster. And a lot of the girls were allowed to join TikTok BECAUSE of the dance and choreography content. Many of the local dance schools, even the best ones (not just locally, but nationally), hosted TikTok Dance workshops as they believed it was important for young dancers to have a platform on TikTok and become dance content creators.

And neither of my friends' girls are performing even averagely in school...from the age of 8 they've both decided dance will be their career (it's unlikely that it will, given their current ability). Their academic skills are woeful. At least 12 hours per week are spent in dance class, show or comp rehearsals. At LEAST. The rest of the time it's TikTok or practising makeup/hair/online shopping/elaborate 12 step skincare/grooming etc.

And posting all about it on "HollyMarieDancer2015' social media accounts from the age of 9.

My friends are lovely, good Mums in most ways but have bought into the whole "Dance Moms" lifestyle and, dare I say it, are living vicariously through their girls and in their eyes, doing everything to "make their dreams come true".

Oh, and she's little miss STEM, so clearly being uber girly isn't damaging her.

That is ridiculous. My 8 year old has been invited to one. It’s really not her thing, and I think heck way too young but she will go as it’s her very close friend from Brownies. She is a sporty girl who yes does wear dresses and sandals sometimes but isn’t into nails, pampering etc. At 4 it’s just silly.

More tik tok consumerism and materialism. Do these children not read books and go out to play?

Seriously, everything is iPhone this, instagram that. Childhood is basically cut short to be Adult Lite - and not a productive one at that.

I know my 7yo is going to want all this rubbish and I hate it

I would genuinely worry that she's being sexually groomed.

Are you sure it wasn't one of those typical 'princess parties'? My DD4 likes to put make up on and dress up like Cinderella and has little lip glosses etc, however it's mostly just fun girly princess stuff, which I feel is a bit different.

White fox and crocs are just a brand of clothing and shoe that are ‘in’ and popular, i don’t see what’s wrong with that? Every generation has had certain brands and styles that have been on trend, it’s not a TikTok thing.

Agree with everything else though

It's so sad and depressing!! I'm glad I'm not the only mum who hates this! Wish we could all congregate our kids in one area so they could feel normal and not pressured to wearing makeup and doing skin care!!

That's neglect.
Spend money on all the crap of the day but won't help improve her education.

🤨 have you never bought anything because it’s in fashion? When I was young it was shell suits and pixie boots.
Crocs and hoodies are practical and comfy. And long lasting. My girls crocs have been worn very regularly for the last 18 months.
I disagree with age inappropriate clothing and activities but I’m at a loss with the issue around a pair of flat shoes and a hoodie?

Paedophilia is never the child or the parents’ fault. Paedophilia isn’t dependent on what a child wears.

Stop posting this shit

Stopped her playing football?? That’s sad 😞

Judgy much? Don't you remember being young? My 10 year old loves black bodycon dresses which she usually pairs with tights and dm boots. She has long glossy hair too, but that's natural (she's never actually straightens it). Nails - yes she likes to paint them sometimes.

Yes we're quite an academic family before you ask but much more chilled then when I had my older kids. Pick your battles I reckon!

I have a friend / colleague who dresses her 5 year old kid with red lipstick and false eyelashes and nails

this post jumped the shark. I call bullshit for this whole thread. It’s misogynistic and victim blaming and people should be ashamed of themselves