Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Is this normal it seems barbaric

137 replies

Streppy · 17/08/2024 07:22

Woman next to me in hospital is contracting has been all night but not far gone enough so they are sending her home for a bit. She’s been screaming crying all night every ten minutes and throwing up. They have reluctantly offered her some morphine during the night but she’s still been screaming. I’m due to give birth soon currently in for observation and I can’t believe how they can leave her in this much pain is this normal. Her partner has had to be with her all night to try help her is this going to be what I have in store she’s been like this since yesterday afternoon/evening why aren’t they giving her pain relief it seems barbaric she’s asking for relief and they’ve offered paracetamol. My birthing plan was basically pain relief and not to have much pain I’m so worried now about giving birth.

OP posts:

1721sunset · 17/08/2024 07:24

Wouldn’t ever happen if men gave birth

PeriIsKickingMyButt · 17/08/2024 07:31

Where are you? Morphine for a woman in labour sounds unusual??

I don't know what kind of pain relief is safe when in labour. Pethidine?

Neverneverneveragain · 17/08/2024 07:36

Yes barbaric, very triggering for me and it was 20 years ago, sent home from hospital and throwing up whilst waiting for a taxi home. More than the pain I remember how unsettling it was to change place in the middle of labour and then again to go back in. I hope all goes well for you, very distressing for you to hear this all night long. I really hope everything goes smoothly for you

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3rd trimester Antenatal & postnatal Childbirth Families

Batbatbatty · 17/08/2024 07:37

I wouldn't start comparing or thinking that you're going to feel or react how she is. Maybe she's completely unprepared for labour, has no idea about breathing or alternative methods to manage pain, or has a very low pain threshold.

Cheepcheepcheep · 17/08/2024 07:38

I’m surprised, when I had DD 4 years ago (four years ago today in fact!) I was told that if I had pethedine I’d have to stay in until birth.

Cheeesus · 17/08/2024 07:38

Throwing up can just be one of those things in labour. Especially for some women who are just sicky sort of people. The rest sounds horrific though.

MigGril · 17/08/2024 07:40

I had a back to back labour and while it was painful. Early stages wasn't that bad, everyone reacts differently so don't try and compare.

Oldermum84 · 17/08/2024 07:44

This was me. It was horrendous. I had flashbacks and nightmares for around a year afterwards and had an elective section for my second.

90yomakeuproom · 17/08/2024 07:51

I'm confused why she's there if you said they are sending her home?

Christmasiscomingpanic · 17/08/2024 07:51

Barbaric. The hospital tried to do that with me because I was only 2cm. Baby arrived 2 hours later having been back to back. I hope the poor woman got some relief.

As for you, take all the drugs.

OtterOnAPlane · 17/08/2024 07:54

Giving birth is barbaric, and our awful system makes it worse by forcing women to do so much of it with so little privacy.

PonkyPonky · 17/08/2024 08:02

This was me but without the screaming. I was in agony and vomiting with every contraction. They gave me paracetamol, which I threw straight back up, and told me to go home. I literally begged to stay! I knew my baby was coming no matter how much they told me I wasn’t even ‘in active labour yet’. They rolled their eyes at me, reluctantly let me stay because it was quiet. Then they left me alone with no pain relief and I gave birth an hour later. I live 30 minutes from the hospital so if I had gone home when they told me to that’s where I would have given birth. I get that they probably get a lot of women come in at nowhere near the point of giving birth but there has to be an element of trusting that the women knows her own body and knows when she needs to be in hospital. It’s also a pretty scary experience and there needs to be more compassion. Of course it’s an everyday occurrence for midwives but not for the birthing mother.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 17/08/2024 08:13

They tried this with me although I wasn’t in the hospital yet I called a few times in agony and was told not to come in - first timer ir could take days etc take paracetamol and watch a film or go asleep

I couldn’t do any of those things due to the pain

I came to the hospital against their advice and was so sick and in so much pain so they gave me a bed - then the consultant came and I swear she did an eye roll when I screamed in pain when she tried to check how dilated I was

a nice midwife suggested I have an epidural and I agreed and luckily got one within a few minutes

so I’d push for that if I were you - just really advocate for yourself!!!

on my second I had elective c section due to the trauma from first time !!

JanglyBeads · 17/08/2024 08:14

That does sound bad but people's pain thresholds vary a lot so I'd assume that hers was low - please do NOT assume that your labour will be horrendous! Yes there is pain but manageable for some - I chose to give birth at home and has no pain relief with my first and only gas and air for my second.

Just to give an alternative view. Am sorry to hear about the awful experiences of PPs.

Original poster

Streppy · 17/08/2024 08:16

I was told in our area they start you off with paracetamol codine morphine and then work up to other forms of pain relief. After last night they clearly are reluctant to offer it. I think she was in due to some tests I don’t know.

OP posts:

AFmammaG · 17/08/2024 08:30

I was advised to take paracetamol and stay at home for as long as I could, which I did. When I went in, my waters hadn’t broken so they tried to send me home. I refused and stayed in the waiting area, crying, on the floor, in so much pain. They kept saying they wouldn’t admit me because my waters hadn’t broken, like a broken record.

Anyway, long story short, my waters never did break, they eventually did it with some sort on knitting needle like device and my child was born not breathing. Still thank God for the guy that resuscitated her and got her back.

My advice would be stand your ground. Be as firm as you can and trust your gut. I made a complaint after and it was upheld. I was so badly injured I needed surgery and a year of physio.

AhBiscuits · 17/08/2024 08:33

Try and put it from your mind OP, no two births are alike.
Both of mine popped out within a few hours with no issue at all.

Ineffable23 · 17/08/2024 08:34

Batbatbatty · 17/08/2024 07:37

This wording really annoys me about pain. It's not possible to differentiate between a "low pain threshold" and a person who is experiencing more pain. A low pain threshold sounds (perhaps unintentionally) as though the person just isn't very good at putting up with it. But pain is generated entirely by your nerves so it's just as possible that the person in question is /experiencing more pain/ than that they can't put up with the same amount of pain as someone else.

MadeofCheeese · 17/08/2024 08:43

Yup, 4 day labour, stopped pethidine as told I was close, 24 hours later actually only 1cm. Did 36 hours screaming on codeine only. Emergency C section once my situation has reached someone higher up.
2 years PND and PTSD, antidepressants and therapy.
Therapist says they have about 10 women on the books with PTSD from birth . . .

Crunchymum · 17/08/2024 08:46

PeriIsKickingMyButt · 17/08/2024 07:31

Where are you? Morphine for a woman in labour sounds unusual??

I don't know what kind of pain relief is safe when in labour. Pethidine?

Diamorphine is used in labour.

But agree they wouldn't give it to a patient and then discharge them.

Reminds me of when I was induced with DC3. We were given a room, pessary in and all settled. A consultant visited me after 20 hours and told me as I was the only woman on the labour ward not in active labour I'd have to vacate the room. I did ask to be left. I had been having regular twinges and was due the second pessary, but nope! Was moved to a smaller room, not equipped for delivery and didn’t have any G&A available etc. Of course waters broke within the hour of being moved so they then had to find a delivery room for me..... baby arrived within half an hour of waters breaking.

If I'd just been left I'd have not used 3 different rooms and nor would I have been put naked into a wheelchair and carted from room 2 to room 3 whilst screaming on absolute agony and distress. I was covered but still naked, leaking amniotic fluid and being wheeled through a busy corridor.

I was only moved rooms on the same floor. Can't imagine being told to go home!!

Donotneedit · 17/08/2024 08:48

Op is in hospital feeling really anxious , maybe best to stop with the horror stories right now?

op, have you tried discussing your concerns with the nicest staff member who is working with you? It does sound awful but it doesn’t mean it will be like that for you.

if they’ve sent the other woman home as far as I know she won’t be actually in established labor yet, they may be unable to do anything else for her.

some people do totally freak out I think, she may be calmer at home. You need to focus on you now, each birth story is unique

maybe spend some time googling hypnobirthing if you are able to, just to get yourself into the right zone

good luck and lots of love!

Donotneedit · 17/08/2024 08:49

Oh and OP, given the amount of horror stories getting posted on this thread, if I was you, I would ask for it to be deleted so you don’t get tempted to look again. It’s the absolute opposite of what you need right now

PolaroidPrincess · 17/08/2024 08:50

Time to prep your Birth Partner OP that they're not just there to hold your hand, eat snacks and take photos, they are there to advocate for you too.

Like others have said though, no two births are the same and you could have a very straightforward first birth like I did.

WickieRoy · 17/08/2024 08:54

Batbatbatty · 17/08/2024 07:37

Ah yes, blame the woman for experiencing pain in labour.

Try not to dwell OP - babies come in lots of different ways and there's just no predicting what you'll get. When I was induced, DH and I went out for a walk for an hour or as the woman in the bed next to me started contacting. By the time we came back, the baby had been born on the six bed induction bay! Whereas I didn't dilate at all and my baby came by very relaxed EMCS two days later - the other woman was probably already home by time time mine was born. You just can't tell.

Best of luck!

colourfulchinadolls · 17/08/2024 09:05

Where I am (Leeds) morphine is used instead of pethidine

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6