Is this normal it seems barbaric

[Streppy]

Woman next to me in hospital is contracting has been all night but not far gone enough so they are sending her home for a bit. She’s been screaming crying all night every ten minutes and throwing up. They have reluctantly offered her some morphine during the night but she’s still been screaming. I’m due to give birth soon currently in for observation and I can’t believe how they can leave her in this much pain is this normal. Her partner has had to be with her all night to try help her is this going to be what I have in store she’s been like this since yesterday afternoon/evening why aren’t they giving her pain relief it seems barbaric she’s asking for relief and they’ve offered paracetamol. My birthing plan was basically pain relief and not to have much pain I’m so worried now about giving birth.

Also it depends if she was induced. Induction is really painful compared to going into labour naturally so you need to really consider that. The pain from labour makes you release endorphins to cope. It's like exercise pain (but way worse obviously).
When labour is induced, the artificial oxytocin used to stimulate contractions does not cross the blood-brain barrier. Your body doesn't receive signals to release the endorphins and you experience more intense pain.

You can't manage people according to their birth plan, particularly someone that's never laboured before and has no idea what labour is like. That's grossly unfair to say sorry you're not having pain relief as didn't request it in advance?! Another thing that annoys me, along with the blokes trying to convince partners out of an epidural. Like seriously... let the drs and the woman decide. Morphine is perfectly safe in early labour or we wouldn't give it (despite what many non medical people seem to be suggesting on here!)

I don't think it's your place to decide what pain relief your sister wants or is entitled to tbh and I suspect there's a lot of birth trauma from people trying to talk people out of pain relief

Epidurals are invasive but beyond gas and air are the safest pain relief for baby and allows mum to sleep. Like why suffer completely unnecessarily when you can dilate pain free and be awake and ready to push when fully? It's not the victorian ages we don't need to offer sticks to bite on

No evidence what so ever epidurals increase the rates of tearing, its not the ouch this hurts that stops you tearing it is listening to what the midwives te you about when to push when to stop pushing and when to pant so they can press on the perineum...but often it's just one of those things. But no epidurals don't increase it

Theres an association with epidurals and instrumental delivery... not evidence of cause and effect... they're different. As I tell mum's there is a potential infrease risk but we don't know if its a genuine cause...as the people that give birth before hospital obviously don't get an epidural or csection so it's a limited catchment... and for all we know the women asking for epidurals are in more pain and asking cos baby is in a funny position and getting stuck in descent... so they would have ended up with a section epidural or no epidural

Maternity services in the UK are shit IME, I had such an awful time I got an independent midwife a month before I was due to give birth - and everything was so completely and utterly different with her, it was worlds away. It was expensive but really worth considering. If not perhaps consider getting a doula to advocate for you if you're worried.
No one listened to me and no one seemed to give a shit, they were also very rude about other woman in front of me on a couple of occasions which made me very uncomfortable. I found it to be a really horrible experience.

When will they start to listen to women? Reading these stories it seems like nothing has changed since my first baby was born 29 years ago. My labour started at home and within half an hour the pain was unbearable. Several phone calls to the hospital only to be told to stay at home as it being my first baby it would be many hours yet. I couldn’t cope - my husband phoned my mum and she told him to just take me in.
Lots of eye rolling when we got there and it was 40 minutes before they showed us into a room despite me saying I thought I needed to push.
Anyway I got onto the bed and told the midwife I REALLY needed to push. She examined me and was shocked to find I was 10cm already. My son was born 20 minutes later. Labour was 3.5 hours from start to finish.

Get a independent midwife if you're making a choice. Doulas cause as a lot of grief for drs as haven't got a clue what they're talking about half the time with regards to surgical interventions/anaesthetic options but talk v confidently using correct terms so to a lay person they sound educated, but to a medic they're often chatting rubbish and making us look difficult when trying to explain their suggestions are either unpractical/safe/just not a thing

But if you've got a decent supportive birthing partner that knows your wishes and can speak up for you, you'll honestly be fine and listened to

Doulas cause as a lot of grief for drs as haven't got a clue what they're talking about half the time with regards to surgical interventions/anaesthetic options but talk v confidently using correct terms so to a lay person they sound educated, but to a medic they're often chatting rubbish and making us look difficult when trying to explain their suggestions are either unpractical/safe/just not a thing

Absolutely. The other thing is there is no qualification as such. Your next door neighbour, Betty, or Mike, can call themselves a Doula and crack on with it, there is nothing stopping this.

It's diamorphine, they gave it to me to make me pass out to sleep basically or I wouldn't have had the strength left to push. 40hr active labour, couldn't progress past 4cm I think it was for ages, finally made it on my own just as they were prepping for section.

Yes, I probably screamed and threw up a lot too. Ive blocked a lot of it out, and never had a second child.

Sorry, this was meant to reply to someone who asked about the morphine!

They did that to me too, it was horrible.

I'm so sorry this happened to you too☹️💐

Morphine??? Are you in the UK?

Yes we use oral morphine in early labour in England