Is this normal it seems barbaric

[Streppy]

Woman next to me in hospital is contracting has been all night but not far gone enough so they are sending her home for a bit. She’s been screaming crying all night every ten minutes and throwing up. They have reluctantly offered her some morphine during the night but she’s still been screaming. I’m due to give birth soon currently in for observation and I can’t believe how they can leave her in this much pain is this normal. Her partner has had to be with her all night to try help her is this going to be what I have in store she’s been like this since yesterday afternoon/evening why aren’t they giving her pain relief it seems barbaric she’s asking for relief and they’ve offered paracetamol. My birthing plan was basically pain relief and not to have much pain I’m so worried now about giving birth.

It really is barbaric and if men had to do it there would be way more funding. At one point I was contracting every 2 minutes and was only allowed paracetamol, I thought I was going to die with the pain. Not only the birthing part but also the aftercare is non existent.

OP, births are all different and that sounds rougher than most births I know of. Try not to be anxious. My birth was more along the lines of thinking things were just starting when all of a sudden I realised the baby was on the way out.

I did two labours at home, both were calm and peaceful. I went to hospital at fully dilated with the first.

Had gas and air for the first, no pain relief for the second. Both were fine, nothing like the woman you describe, no screaming or agony. Just some pains that I coped well with by breathing and staying calm.

I feel the trick is to work on that breathing, tell yourself you're strong and you can do it, keep a positive attitude, climb the mountain, know it's temporary and you'll have a lovely baby at the end of if.

Totally agree!

Women labour very differently.

The problem before you're in active labour (less than 4 cm dilated) is that, if they give you an epidural, labour is likely to stall and then they interventions (and hence risk for you and baby) start rolling.

Also, an epidural means one-on-one care, and an early one will mean the ward has one less midwife for many, many hours on end, so there's the staff isue too.

And there is not much more than an epidural you can get while you're still pregnant, as anything in your blood will get to baby too. We use morphine IM, which tends to work very well for about 3 hours. But for some women it just doesn't, or for longer latent phases you can't just keep pumping morphine in without risks.

Midwives and doctors are not on a competition to make women suffer. unfortunatelky this is how women's bodies give birth. Until very recently in history there was zero pain relief,. and this is what women went through.

Some may say "just get a cesarean", however unneccessary cesarean sections have already increased risks in future pregnancies (placenta accreta and percreta, postpartum hemorrhage, wound infections, hysterectomies, endometritis, uterine rupture and higher risk of miscarriage and stillbirth for future babies regardless how they're born). To give you a specific example, placenta accreta (which often results in haemorrhage and hysterectomy) has increased 4 times since the 19802 as a result of having so many cesareans.

Just to counter some of the bad experiences. I have had four lovely home births. With my first I tried gas and air and a TENS but didn’t use anything with my other three. Yes, it did still hurt but not to the extent I needed pain relief. I think being at home I could relax more easily and follow my body. I got a endorphin rush from it I think.

I did have quite quick transitions, I could feel when the labour upped a level and you can move from 2cm to 6/7cm in a quick jump.

Morphine? I got paracetamol, really helped! And then codeine, made me puke and gave me the shakes.

Again, this sounds like you're blaming the woman for being in agony.

Women give birth everyday, some may have complications and we all have different pain thresholds but as long as you focus on your breathing and listen to your body and the midwives you’ll be ok.

When I was in labour the lady next door to me sounded like she was struggling and it made me worry but my first was 5 hours so not incredibly quick but also not considered a long labour, I didn’t have any any pain relief and got to go home shortly after, you can’t predict what will happen or how well you will cope so don’t worry yourself over it, you might not even stick to your birthing plan, I know I didn’t, I wanted a water birth, I was only sat in the pool for 20 mins when I told them I needed to push, they said I’d have hours to go yet but got me out to check and realised my baby was well on her way! They gave me the option to get back in but my body just wanted to push so badly so I chose to stay on the bed.
My second labour was completely different, I was in the latent phase for about a week, I’d been having cramps but didn’t think much of them, went for my sweep and I was 10cm dilated, he was born 3 days later and active labour was 20 minutes.

Any opiate based drugs make me chunder my head off, could v likely be the morphine making her sick

I’m the same, I did write down on birthday plan no drugs unless it was medically needed as I can’t stand how fuzzy my head feels, I was given gas and air to try but it made me feel sick so I gave it back to them.

Awful comment. I had done lots of research, practised breathing etc. I found that I could not prevent my body tensing up with each contraction, and I found it desperately painful. However, I know friends who found it very different. So, I agree that you don't know how it will be OP. But thisnposter, blaming the woman??? Awful

I've been on labour ward for 10 days now and seen many women come and go have their babies. Everyone handles it very differently. Only one (of many) has screamed/shouted through her contractions.

I'm not in the UK though and they're much happier to hand out pain relief quickly or take to a delivery room for drip and epidural here so she wasn't left shouting for ages.

My friend was sent away in labour with dc3. She knew she wasn't far off despite what they said. She waited in the car park with her husband. Went back in with her husband holding the baby's head in his hand, with baby half out!

She was amazingly calm. Her husband was in bits!

Sounds like back to back labour. I threw up in the early stages and had extreme pushing pain style contractions from 2 cm. They only gave me paracetamol and pethadine (which I hated) for hours.
Eventually ended up with epidural and assisted delivery. I should have asked for the epidural straight off.
Second birth was induced but normal positioning and I delivered no problem on just gas and air.
If you're back to back just ask for an epidural straight off.

I'm the same had 3 births without pain relief although had my first two in hospital.

But was consecutively quicker with each one so third was a home birth.

I don't judge anyone for needing pain relief I just didn't although if I'd been made to lie down I'd have needed it even a few moments was agony, when they asked to examine me I told them to get it done very quickly.

For me I need to be moving either pacing or rocking then when I get to a certain point into water usually hands and knees or resting on my arms.

I also mentally talked to myself and told myself everything is fine you've got this. Even if I hadn't got it trying to keep calm will help (easier said than done I know).

And yes we need to get much better at caring for women during childbirth. No one should be screaming she must be so frightened. We need more research money and staff invested in this area.

Work up from morphine? There isn't really anywhere to go.

OP

Pain is what the patient says it is. Some people do scream with what others perceive as not much pain but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and they are not in pain.

The best advice on here IMHO is getting your birthing partner ready to advocate for you.

Paracetamol on its own is not strong but mixed with other drugs it does make the pain killing effect stronger.

I was told this by a GP as I was crouched on the floor with what turned out to be an ovarian cyst trying to wrap itself around my fallopian tube. And she was right.

OK I have never given birth but my sister in law has three times and not even had pain relief as, 'it wasn't that bad'. There is as much chance that you will be like my SIL as there is you will be the woman on the ward.

I hop you have a swift pain free labour.

Did they actually give her morphine?
it sounds like the morphine didn't work at all if she did receive it.

What is the next escalation after morphine, is it a general anesthetic or an epidural? Is an epidural appropriate for someone who is barely or not at all dilated?

I would try not to compare what others are going through. Each birth is so different and there are so many factors that it’s impossible to know exactly what is going on with the lady currently in pain.

Just to balance some of the stories…I was terrified of giving birth to my first child as I’d heard so many stories of difficult births and although it wasn’t totally event free, my little boy arrived safely and quickly and what I would describe as a bit less that the amount of pain I was expecting. I then got really nervous about my second as I was going to be induced and again I’d heard some bad stories but my little girl arrived within 8 hours of the very first stage of induction and what I would describe as “full on” labour only lasted for about 30 mins - I do t think there was any time for pain!

As a pp has said, everyone who had a horror story birth is now happy to share it.
the best advice I heard was ‘yes it’s painful, but it’s your body doing what it needs to, it’s not a worrying pain’

definitely look into hypno birthing, I was totally zoned out, it really helped. Plus the gas and air was wonderful, it makes you feel a bit sick at first but stick with it, you get past that.

also, I highly recommend the birthing pool if you get the chance, it’s lovely, you can take the gas and air in too.

i wasted far too much of my pregnancy worrying about the birth/pain.
looking back, I’d give birth tomorrow but I hated the pregnancy!

They give diamorphine most places now rather than pethidine

sorry, was guilty of Not RTFT.

I imagine there's constant research into pain relief options during childbirth, but finding something very safe for baby & mother, beyond morphine etc. is very difficult. It must be totally unethical to even test half the drugs they'd like to try for birthing woman because there's no way to know if those drugs weren't safe until after a huge amount of harm was already done (when risk of harm is higher for those drugs).

I Had diamorphine in labour 8 years ago. Wonderful stuff.

Disgusting post. You sound like a woman hater.

Wishing you the best with your labour OP, my advice would be to keep an open mind to all pain relief options and accept whatever helps you. I didn’t want an epidural but labour wasn’t manageable without one for me.

Urgh this is horrible to read! I was induced at 10am and started hypercontracting around 8.30pm, half an hour after DH had to leave the ward, I was throwing up and in agony all night and they wouldn't let him back in to be with me until 6 in the morning when I was nearly ready to move to a room in labour ward. That was after I cried and begged for them to break the visiting rules. I felt so sorry for the other women in the ward having no sleep having to listen to me all night being sick and moaning!

I do find it barbaric that I had to stay in and wasn't allowed my partner there. But I understand there just weren't the private rooms, and if I had started contracting in the daytime visiting hours he could have been there.

However, this isn't everyone's experience! 3 friends gave birth around the same time as me and had wonderful experiences, 2 at home without pain relief and one in hospital with gas and air. I appreciate its scary to listen to but there's a good chance your birth experience won't be as unpleasant ❤ good luck!