Is junior footy this brutal everywhere? :(

[Jfcsucks]

DS 12 been in a junior footy club for 2 years.

Started off so well, then I dunno what went wrong, the others seems to progress v. quickly and he's stalled and he gets way less time on the pitch now, like a token 5 mins every other game if that 😔

Last weekend there was a tournament, just a friendly thing pitched as a fun day out, all day. Cost £20 to enter, 20 mins a game from 10am - 5pm. Think they had 10 games lined up. He got a total of 5 minutes play first game out of 4 other subs who were all swapped on/off while he sat there.

He came home and was curled up in a ball watching football technique videos all night hardly saying a word. He didn't eat. He was so low.

This feels like the straw/camel to me and I'm starting to hope he just Jack's it in because I can see its really upsetting him. He loves footy, the others are better, but he has his strengths and I feel coach is just focusing on the better ones and not helping DS improve by giving him opportunities.

I genuinely thought it was just a bit of fun? I've heard from other mums their JFC coach always makes sure even the mediocre ones get to play, part of the team, considering the parents pay subs etc. etc, but our coach seems to think he's Alex Ferguson and it's the prem, not a bunch of young children.

Is it this brutal? What do I do? No chance of finding another club now. And he has made some lovely friendships. He wouldn't want to leave but I'm wondering if he should for his mental health, I can see it's really getting him down 😔 or does he carry on just to join in with the training etc?

@Limer my DS tried football and didn't get on with it. He joined beavers instead and has thrived over his years in the group, he recently got his scouts gold award. So you may be on to something there.

Should add this is from personal experience - both my kids started in a more ambitious team and moved to a lower league inclusive one which suited them much better. In ds's case the coach just didn't play him much, for dd the coach was great and gave her more time on the pitch but it was clear she wasn't as good as most of the team and if she had stayed there I think her team mates would have got annoyed.

I don’t think rugby is any better, they get rid of children the same way, giving them less play time so they leave.

Football is horrendously overpopulated and competitive especially 12+. Any chance he would prefer athletics if he loves running so much?

Swimming, rugby, cycling... there's so many sports he could try.

Mine don't do sport, he's coordination is like watching Mr Bean but must be so sad to see him so low. My son gets the worst abuse with football in pe, lucky he shrugs it off but for some reason football just brings out the worst behaviour.

He's just in the wrong league.

Most clubs have teams in various level leagues.

Our son is decent at football but he's not 1st division so isn't in a 1st division team.

Talk to the coach, check out lower league teams.

Many kids give up football or shift teams (up and down) end of season.

Start new season in a tram more suited to his abilities.

And yes grassroots football can sometimes be way OTT and people take it too seriously.

Also remember, his coach volunteers to do this, they will go on courses and pay out of their own pocket as well as organise tournaments, games, give up their time for matches and coaching.

The coach will be playing to win, and that is likely why your son didn't get many minutes. It's nothing personal it's just football.

The coach is likely to want him to enjoy and play more football, just probably in a different team.

Be nice basically. That's what it should be about, lots of mixed ability kids enjoying kicking a ball around with other teams who are about the same level.

He probably needs to join a new team and even a team in a lower league team where they play competitively but for hobby not necessarily as a career like some top league teams aspire

I agree with pp saying avoid rugby. There is a lot of on going research into long term damage to brain. I wouldn’t go near it.

Athletics and running are great in principle - but my experience is that it’s just not as enjoyable for kids as a team sport, even if they’re very good at it.

If you have a local bouldering/climbing centre, then I would 100% recommend that. Really inclusive, levels to complete, lots of problem solving. Over summer, you could book a family taster session where a coach would teach you and your ds the basics. If he likes that, you can sign him up to the youth sessions.

Basketball would be another one I’d look at. It’s becoming incredibly popular. It’s the polar opposite of youth football. Coaches are all qualified, never parents of players. Parents aren’t mental. Much more fun to watch - and it’s indoors. Your sons speed will be a huge advantage. Also, a lot of kids start playing later, so taking it up at 12 wouldn’t be a huge disadvantage. Look for open training sessions and different local clubs. He would get into a team for next season (Aug/sept) but he could have a lot of fun building skills at weekly sessions and try for a team next year.