What would you do if you realised your chiropractor thought you fancied them?!

[MadamoiselleCocoa]

Hope the thread title makes sense!

Obviously this is not the most pressing thread on MN but I'm not sure what to do.

I've had a bad back since someone drove into my car about 5 months ago. I've been seeing a chiropractor to help realign everything and reduce pain while healing etc.

I've found a really good one, it was the second one I'd tried and he was much better than the first, let's call him Donald. I live in a big village and there aren't many chiropractors about, to add some context.

The last few times I've been Donald has been making it very obvious that he wants to tell me he is happily married, happy family etc. The last time I went, there was a family photo on the table next to the chair I sit on to wait for my appointment. Take my word for it I've realised he thinks I fancy him! Other hints too which would be too outing.

On the one hand it's amusing sort of but on the other I'm a bit annoyed about it because I really don't fancy him - I've always gone for scruffy intellectual types! - and it has made me feel uncomfortable.

Considering spending x amount each time is not cheap and now I'm starting to find it a bit stressful and he is reading into my reactions to conversations and my natural friendliness, I'm considering driving around 40 minutes each way to see another chiropractor- am in Scotland in the middle of nowhere.

What would you do? Carry on going to see Donald and sort of grey rocking him or finding another one altogether?

Oh get over yourself & save yourself an extended trip to go to another!

Your "natural friendliness" must be really full on...

Given the inconvenience to you of finding another, I'd try the grey rock route first and if he's still carrying on like a numpty, tell him you're not interested in him, and then find a new chiropractor.

Thanks @KatParr yes I think I will try this as this would easier for me. And will keep conversation to a minimum.

It's "Donald" who needs to get over himself!

@S1lverCandle not really I just think he fancies himself tbh! Just makes it a bit awkward.

Thank you @KatParr you have got it in one!

For all you know, he might have just been on a course about bringing your authentic self to work or something 😆

Ignore Donald’s family chat and just talk about your back issues next time. When I head to the chiro that is pretty much all I do.

He may have misread the situation but that is his problem, not yours.

@magicmushrooms yes I will do this... it's weird because he was the one leading the friendly chit chat and now for some reason it's my fault!

I'd just ignore it and carry on. Just don't engage with him on any level outside of your issue.

Happened to me with two total strangers! I spoke to them briefly and totally appropriately - and both jumped to tell me they were married or brought up their wives completely out of context. I started to doubt myself, but definitely wasn't giving off any flirty vibes; wouldn't even say I was that friendly. Maybe Donald has had issues in the past with clients falling in love with him (eye roll!) and is getting in quick before you get any ideas! :)

That's his problem if his ego thinks you fancy him, maybe he just feels guilty for some weird reason having conversation that involves his family, best not to ask questions about himself and just change the subject to you and why you're there.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Love it! 🤣

I would either find another chiropractor or make a concerted effort to convey that I do not fancy him.

I don't really know how it works at a chiropractor but could you stick some headphones in and listen to a podcast?

That said, I have noticed this before. I had a (male) therapist once who 'happened' to mention his girlfriend about three times in our first session just so I got the message.

Tell him you are into girls

This happened with my guitar teacher. In the early days he mentioned his wife repeatedly, and said he’s strongly religious. Anyway it’s been a few years now so he doesn’t bring it up. I think he was just making sure I knew he was unavailable.

Thanks guys some funny responses!

When I saw the photo of the family next to the chair I thought that's really odd what's that doing there... so I made some small talk about his kids getting bigger... but thought wtf... i was just so confused by it until he said a couple of other things.... I'm also married with a child btw!! You couldn't make it up.

Yep going to keep going for a few more sessions see how it goes and just not engage about anything but the back. His sessions really help my back or I would have tried another already btw.

Switch off the TV or put the book down its a bad influence?

It is highly annoying when a man you aren't attracted to acts as if you are chasing him.

In this case, if he is good at his job and there isn't another good chiropractor handy, I would nod politely every time he mentions his wife, and then bring the conversation straight back to your spine, which is what he is being paid to deal with.

@TheYearOfSmallThings yes highly annoying! I feel I'm being knocked back by something he's invented and now it's making me feel awkward. Definitely not going to chat to him much going forwards.

This mentioning their wife thing is quite common with lots of men, I have had it with a few colleagues, I just think it's funny. With a chiropractor it's more of a hands on relationship which might be awkward but many men do this wife-mentioning thing, even when you don't fancy them and you haven't given any indication you care about their personal lives!

From the beginning we knew the other was married! So I'm really not sure what the need for the photo was and the other chats the past few times have been about. It's just a bit annoying but I'll get over it!

If you're in central Scotland I can recommend the one in Falkirk, new Forrest they're called.

He sounds too weird and maybe he's infatuated with you with is maybe a bit ick for a patient-chiropractor relationship

My chiropractor has personal (family) pics up in her treatment rooms so I don't think that means anything.