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I'm a mess about my PFB leaving primary school

133 replies

Crunchymum · 18/07/2024 12:09

I didn't think I'd find it this emotional? I'm a bloody mess.

I'm under strict instructions not to embarrass him at any of his leaver's events but every time I think about it, I'm almost in tears.

What's this all about?

We're not even leaving the school as I have two more DC there (I'll be there for another 5 years!!!)

Anyone else? Urgh. Need to sort myself out.

OP posts:
ThistleWitch · 18/07/2024 12:10

Really?

Why on earth are you " almost in tears" You need to toughen up - otherwise you're going to be 'that mum'

DaisyDaisydoo · 18/07/2024 12:10

Same! Completely taken aback by how hard this has hit me, it feels ridiculous!

thefamous5 · 18/07/2024 12:11

I'm on my second child leaving primary and feel the same. I was the same with my first.

I think it's that big transition period - they're going to suddenly become so much more independent!

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DaisyDaisydoo · 18/07/2024 12:12

For me I think it’s because it’s hitting home how fast time and childhoods whizz by.

thefamous5 · 18/07/2024 12:12

ThistleWitch · 18/07/2024 12:10

Really?

Why on earth are you " almost in tears" You need to toughen up - otherwise you're going to be 'that mum'

I'm on my second child leaving. I was the same with my first when he left and I'm not 'that' mum.

Most of the mums I knew in my eldest year and now in my middles year also felt the same and were emotional wrecks! We all manage to be fine

Figgygal · 18/07/2024 12:13

My ds left last year and we were excited for that next chapter rather than sad. It was a lovely time they did some great activities for them and he'd outgrown the setting.
See it is an exciting next phase you'll have forgotten the sadness next week

Crunchymum · 18/07/2024 12:13

ThistleWitch · 18/07/2024 12:10

Really?

Why on earth are you " almost in tears" You need to toughen up - otherwise you're going to be 'that mum'

Yes really.

I'm sure I do need to toughen up. You on the other hand could try and be a bit kinder.

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 18/07/2024 12:13

Perhaps you ought to consider having a diplomatic illness to prevent you from attending leaver's events.

Tupperwarefan · 18/07/2024 12:13

My last one is leaving yr6. No one knows how emotional I feel. None of my friends have kids so I can't tell them. My DH is buried in work and just doesn't get this stuff. My mum has dementia so I can't tell her. I know I won't cry at the assembly as I can control myself, that's for sure. But I will be so glad when this week is over and we can forget about it. You are not alone with this

Soccermumamir · 18/07/2024 12:15

This is my second and last child leaving primary school. I don't think it's really hit me yet lol 😅 It is sad, but I guess this is what parenting is. We raise them to grow and become more independent.

DaisyDaisydoo · 18/07/2024 12:15

Figgygal · 18/07/2024 12:13

My ds left last year and we were excited for that next chapter rather than sad. It was a lovely time they did some great activities for them and he'd outgrown the setting.
See it is an exciting next phase you'll have forgotten the sadness next week

I swing between excitement and feeling sad, it’s a very strange set of emotions I haven’t felt before, I think it just all feels a bit overwhelming. Today I am just super excited for her- but come the leavers assembly who knows 😂

PuttingDownRoots · 18/07/2024 12:16

I've already managed the "embarrassing DD" bit at the leavers disco by tripping over a bench and faceplanting in the middle of the dance floor. I'm counting my lucky stars I don't need to go back after this week!!

Its a big step. I think its natural to feel a bit emotional over it... its a sign they are growing up.

And lots of parents cry. Lots of kids cry. Doesn't mean they aren't ready for it... just that it is a big moment.

BeyondMyWits · 18/07/2024 12:17

Mine have their uni graduations this week... there's been a lot of "last's", endings and new beginnings along the way... see it as a happy occasion, moving on.

Most kids don't really enjoy primary school, (according to both of mine and their friends) so moving on can be a huge positive.

ProfessorPeppy · 18/07/2024 12:17

My DS1 is moving up too; It’s the songs he’s singing at the leavers’ service that get me 😭

Crunchymum · 18/07/2024 12:18

LlynTegid · 18/07/2024 12:13

Perhaps you ought to consider having a diplomatic illness to prevent you from attending leaver's events.

I'll hold it together. I'm managing to have my emotional meltdowns in private! I just didn't expect to feel this way.

OP posts:
ZeroFucksGivenToday · 18/07/2024 12:19

I'm with you. She's my only.
I helped at the last disco last week, and I cried when they sang them out. All the kids were too busy crying on each other to spot me anyway. DD knows I'm emotional about it and lots of other mums are the same too.
I don't need to toughen up, I'm kick ass, but this is an emotional time and I'm (and more importantly DD) is ok with that.

Good Luck with it all. :)

AuntieDolly · 18/07/2024 12:19

I'm so unemotional normally, but at the leavers assembly they played 'Perfect Day' to a slideshow of all the kids at the residential trip and there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Stressfordays · 18/07/2024 12:19

I was like this last year when my first left for secondary school! I wasn't the only mum crying either. It's an emotional transition. I'm sure I'll be tougher when my next 2 leave but I felt like I was going into the unknown with my eldest. All his worries were also my worries! Now I know it will be just fine but you can't help the emotions.

Gelasring · 18/07/2024 12:25

It's entirely normal to feel this way - especially with your first.

Nothing wrong with feeling emotions contrary to what some on here might think!

Secondary school will quickly become your new normal come September though.

Colinswheels · 18/07/2024 12:26

My DD has just left primary school and they left packs of tissues on the tables at the leavers assembly for the parents. I think its normal to be emotional about major transition events. My DD and her friends all came out of school in floods of tears on their last day too.

I recently heard the summer between primary and secondary described as the last summer of childhood, that hit me hard.

SerafinasGoose · 18/07/2024 12:27

BeyondMyWits · 18/07/2024 12:17

Mine have their uni graduations this week... there's been a lot of "last's", endings and new beginnings along the way... see it as a happy occasion, moving on.

Most kids don't really enjoy primary school, (according to both of mine and their friends) so moving on can be a huge positive.

When I moved from middle school (which I loved) to high school I didn't bat an eyelid. And no one in those days paid concession to transition the way UK schools do now. As to leaving school, despite my lack of early nerves I had a very bad time in the last few years. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there, skipped every single rite of passage there is, and never once looked back.

University graduation - at least first-time round - was another thing entirely. I was far more suited to university life than school and had a wonderful time as an undergraduate. I was broadsided by the emotion I felt on leaving: how surreal it all felt, how we were all going out into the world in separate directions and in some cases had no idea what the future held. I felt quite lost for a few weeks afterwards and there were some very emotional goodbyes - quite out of character for me and I wasn't expecting to feel like this.

Primary ends for my DC next year so it will be interesting to see how that compares. I'll of course frame it as an exciting opportunity - DC is pretty well-balanced and feet-on-the-ground anyway - and will never see any kind of different attitude from me. But sometimes, what's in a mum's heart only we know!

I hear you, OP. Milestones can be peculiar, unpredictable things.

IggyAce · 18/07/2024 12:28

I’d prepare yourself if you’re this bad when your first leaves you’ll be a complete mess when your last does. I was more emotional when dc2 left because it was a total end of an era no more school runs.

SuePreemly · 18/07/2024 12:28

Wait for the younger one to leave. I was fine with pfb but the youngest leaves tomorrow. She's off to a school where none of her classmates are going and I am a wreck.

It's partly self pity that I won't see my mum mates so often as well 🙈

Notverygruntled · 18/07/2024 12:30

I think it's harder when it's your first, OP, as it feels like it's the end of them being little and you think they will completely change, as so many people say. Whereas Year 7 has been really exciting for all of mine and I am enjoying them being older so much more than I thought I would. So there are still lots of fun times ahead and, whilst there's less
involvement with secondary, that's good in some ways. I have also found that it varies child to child and have got to know some lovely parents of friends of my older 3 DC.

I have three years left of primary school with DC4 and have found each one leaving much easier as we've gone on and I know the upsides (am also totally over school run so suspect I will be fine when Y6 rolls around). Don't feel bad about shedding a tear, though, sometimes the most random
things catch us (I still tear up at carol services). At least it's summer, so hope for a sunny day so you can wear sunglasses!

Crunchymum · 18/07/2024 12:31

Thank you all 😊

I've been framing it all to DS in a positive way and he's a lot more balanced and chilled about it all than I am 😂

OP posts:
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