I'm a mess about my PFB leaving primary school

[Crunchymum]

I didn't think I'd find it this emotional? I'm a bloody mess.

I'm under strict instructions not to embarrass him at any of his leaver's events but every time I think about it, I'm almost in tears.

What's this all about?

We're not even leaving the school as I have two more DC there (I'll be there for another 5 years!!!)

Anyone else? Urgh. Need to sort myself out.

I think it's what it all represents, plus we're in a village, so the school is a huge part of the community.

Ditto.
When my son was in year 5 and the beginning of year 6 (the latter 1/2 was Covid) and didn't need childcare every afternoon (I WFH) I would still often go up to the school to collect him and walk to the park and have a natter with some of the other parents. I'd then leave him there and come back to work.
It broke up my day up.

Now I sometimes walk past during the day and have turned into one of those wistful older women pondering how fast it all went, how sweet and innocent they look, how easy they are at that age and that I'm ready for Grandchildren. Then the 15 yo comes home later in the afternoon and I see sense

They had sports day last week and there was a fun thread on the village FB with all the parents who haven't had kids at the school for years bringing up all the old friendly rivalries.

I'm not weeping and wailing in the street (or I'm front of the kids!)

But I am far more emotional than I expected to be and wanted to know if its normal. The replies on this thread have been (mainly!) very reassuring.

It's hard not to be emotional, as someone already said there is a lot of leavers activities that seem to hammer home the leaving of primary school and the leaves assembly is generally designed to make everyone cry! I've always managed to keep my tears in but there's always loads crying.

Dc 4 is leaving tomorrow, I'm glad to no longer do school runs etc after 17 years but still feel emotional. I also find the fact all the kids are crying really catching!

The secondary school stage is the best. You get to hang out with your dc and have mutual fun.

I can’t sympathise. I’ve had 3 leave primary and still another to go. Not once have I felt weepy or teary or emotional about it. I must be missing some gene

FFS.

I think telling people that they're in danger of becoming "that mum" or "that parent" should be an immediate banning offence on MN. Trying to scare people off expressing their emotions or defending their child's corner is fairly despicable. People should be left to be themselves; no-one should have to worry about becoming "that parent", ever, full stop.

Ignore the unkind comments.

Don't run away from or beat yourself up for your feelings. They're just feelings. Listen to what they're trying to tell you.

It's normal to feel sad. Maybe it just means you've really enjoyed this period of all your kids being little, maybe you're nervous about what's ahead, maybe it's bringing up some feelings that you had when you moved to secondary school. Maybe it's making you reflect on how fast they grow and worrying about what life looks like when they've all grown up or even just are more independent.

It's possible to be excited for all these things while being sad too for what is being left behind.

Don't be hard on yourself. Have a nice cup of tea with a friend. Do your best to control your outward reactions in front of DD, have a cry in private and remind yourself of all of the exciting things that are to come.

I really don't think it's a weird thing to be sad about at all.

Just wait till he goes to uni..

Sorry I meant DS not DD*

Hormones (they're my answer to everything these days!) honestly though, I was as tough as old boots before having dc, and then I was pissed off with myself for having moist eyes at the first nativity!
Just wear sun glasses and a mask and no one needs to know you're having a snivel!

I'm feeling pretty emotional about my only leaving primary next week. But I'm also excited for him for high school. I want to help him spread his wings while at the same time I want to wrap my 'baby' up. Very strange set of emotions.

I'm glad to read it's not just me struggling with this

I will definitely be wearing waterproof mascara at the leavers assembly. DS has already said 'Mum is so gonna blub!.'

I’d like to make you feel better but to be honest, now that mine are proper teenagers, I’d give a lot to go back to when they were small.

We have three days next week that seem intended to wreck us so my friends and I know it will be hard. My consolation is having two more kids still at the school, but I feel so emotional. It’s good to read that some people find it easier when subsequent children leave as the next stage is more familiar to them by then. But for now we have a leavers assembly and the day before they are all performing Matilda, including ‘when I grow up’, which is a shot to the heart whoever is singing it, let alone our own children!

I was in tears, as were most of my friends. It is quite normal, you know. There's nothing wrong with showing emotion.

Oh no I much prefer the teen years 😅 cant wait till the youngest is a bit more independent and less clingy haha

It's not bloody Here we go (clap clap), Geronimo (clap clap), this is the moment I've been waiting for, praying for...Open up my parachute and flyyyyyyy, is it?

I'm a surly old twat, immune to everything from sad puppies on PDSA adverts to mawkish sentimentality directed at old people who killed people when they were young because they had to (otherwise known in the press as 'Our Brave Veterans').

I'd heard that song every year being practiced by the offspring and thought nothing of it.

And then it was the last day of term and my youngest was up there with the entire school in the sunshine, singing with the nursery children at the front with them and for the last phrase, smiled into the eyes of some not even 4 years old child and made the gesture for 'and flyyyyyyyyyyy'.

Bloody cried like a baby, didn't I?

With kindness, there's going to be so many firsts and transitions between now and adulthood, and with increasing age they get more and more annoyed by overly emotional parents, so learn to have a smile, fixed if need be and remember dark glasses are your friend .

If you think leaving primary is hard, try first military deployment!

Let's just hope they don't make it to uni.

@PrincessPeaches123

Thankfully dd graduated in Covid times so huge outdoor stadium thus she couldn't see me

It's really not as unusual as you're suggesting. I've been through several leavers events whilst teaching and there are always tears and emotions from many parents ime.

I was uoset at leavers day assembly but that was because school have unfortunately been rubbish generally with eodest and they played 'time of our lives' and i felt it should have been but hasnt for various reasons

I always get really emosh at transitions and was really sad in the lead up to my PFB leaving primary. To make it worse he had the best teacher ever so I was sad about him leaving him as well. His teacher did the most amazing leavers assembly with videos and kids performing songs they'd written. It was like it was designed to crack the parents. Everyone, including the head teacher, basically bawled from Start to finish. It's an amazing, lovely memory now though 😍

I’m in Scotland and it’s all done now as it’s the hols. To be honest it seemed like the school staff were really bigging up the emotion of it all for the P7s and parents, telling us not to forget our tissues for this event or that event. It seemed to drag on for weeks. All the kids were just over it and really seemed like they couldn’t wait to see the back of the place, parents too!

It's not you, it's the times we live in. Everything is hyped up to a state of over-emotion. Leavers assemblies weren't a thing years ago. They don't even need to be a thing now but we're stuck with them along with nursery "graduations" and elaborate gender reveals.

I actually blame X-Factor. Everyone manged quite well until that came along and encouraged people to be dramatic sobbing displays of emotion 😆

Take a private moment, then take a deep breath and stay calm!

I’m missing the same one. I did cry when my son went to Uni though.