I'm a mess about my PFB leaving primary school

[Crunchymum]

I didn't think I'd find it this emotional? I'm a bloody mess.

I'm under strict instructions not to embarrass him at any of his leaver's events but every time I think about it, I'm almost in tears.

What's this all about?

We're not even leaving the school as I have two more DC there (I'll be there for another 5 years!!!)

Anyone else? Urgh. Need to sort myself out.

I think it is understandable because secondary school is a big step and it's the first time you are experiencing it as a parent. There's a definite loosening of the ties when a child goes to Secondary - I found going from speaking to the Staff virtually every day at our little village primary to not even knowing who they are at secondary a big change first time around. You'll get used to it, but it is a lot different for most people and it isn't* *uncommon to feel emotional. I actually found my eldest leaving more emotional than the last. By the time I got to my youngest I was used to it, knew he had outgrown primary and would love secondary, plus most of my "mum friends" no longer had children at the school either so I had already mentally moved on too. But first time, yes, that felt like a big step into the unknown. But it was fine!
I was a bit of a wreck when my youngest left secondary this year mind you. After having one or more children very happy in the school for 15 years it felt quite sad to drive away for the last time even though I know DS will have a great time at University. I think that's maybe about me acknowledging my kids are all grown up and I'm kind of old now though!
But I think most people feel emotional on these kind of days whether they show it or not. You're normal, and everything will almost certainly be fine.

I Bawled at all mine.

Especially at DS1 who had a montage of all his friends and they played that 'soon ill be 60 years old' song.

I cat even think of that song without crying.

Parents were only able to watch our eldest’s leavers assembly over zoom as it was during covid. I turned to my DH at one point whilst we were watching it together to say how cute they all looked and he had tears streaming down his face!

The singing at Leavers' Assemblies is definitely not helpful. They seem to specialise in songs designed to pole axe every single parent!

On Facebook memories I had the video of the Last School Bus from their school that closed. That was a whole other level of emotional, ad every single child in the school was leaving, and all the teachers...plus the whole Army base so everyone was dispersing around the world...

Don't feel bad for feeling emotional!

@ThistleWitch did you mean to be so rude?

My DC1 was a Covid 2020 leaver and it was all on Zoom. Everyone agreed we were all bawling in the privacy of our own homes. It’s a big transition for everyone, much worse than starting school in Reception in some ways! (But with many more upsides in the future tho.)

I tend to find DS1's transitions harder than DS2's because he's going off into the unknown. DS2 is following and I'm more ready for the change.

With DS1's there was also the emotional weight that it tied in to a round number anniversary of my dad's death as I transitioned up, so it fell into a harder season of grief than most years- I missed part of my induction day to go to his funeral, so stirring up memories of that phase of my life can hit deep and mix with current emotions.

DS2 has had a good y6, is off to a good school in the same form as his best mate so we're feeling positive about September.

Op, it's hard to my last dc is leaving primary school. Big step for him. And it feels like my parenthood of small dcs is now over.

I'm not sad. I'm just a bit wistful. I once had a household of four primary school aged children. That was a busy time!!

I can’t wait, neither can youngest dc - they’re bored out of their mind in year six. Also I won’t miss the whole primary experience at all. No more last minute costume making or baking for cake sales. And the relentless emails. Roll on secondary!

It's interesting, I barely batted an eyelid with DS1 & DS2, it was just the next stage & I was complete puzzled by others being very emotional. Fast forward to DS3 who has ASN & I was a mess (3 weeks ago as Scotland). I think it's to do with the fact he really struggles & there's worry about how his struggles will only increase. I think it definitely depends on the DC & how you think they'll cope (and your hormones- definitely menopausal now, wasn't with the others!).

Honestly, I don't think that the huge amount of fuss and palaver that goes with each transition stage is at all helpful for parents or the children themselves, and I say that as someone who cried every time (mine are teenagers now).

Graduation ceremonies, year books, leavers' hoodies, discos, parties, fun days, awards, leavers' assembies, tea parties, photos... And my children had that at the end of nursery, at the end of infants' AND at the end of junior school.

One of my colleagues has taken this week off because it's her only child's last week of primary school. Their school has a full week of events and activities which parents are also expected to attend. And all the fuss is just exacerbating the sense that her child is leaving a wonderful, special, small, caring blah blah village school to go to a big scary secondary school.

It's all gone a bit nuts. Transition is scary enough for kids.

I think they should give them a cheery wave on the last day, wish them luck and send them on their way. Like they did in my day 😂

Bs Kind for goodness sake. If anyone is ‘ that ‘ Mum.. it sounds like you are.

I started reading this thread feeling a bit scathing.... then I was reading about singing kids at leavers assemblies and photo montages and I've changed my tune a bit 😀

End of the primary years :

Good in sense that child (second and last one) has really grown out of all of it and needs a new challenge

Sad in the sense that lots of friends aren't going to same secondary school and they've had a fab last term (after the SATS!). Sad but happy sad.

I'm going to notice all the emotion and so my best to keep it together in leavers assembly tomorrow.....

In the same boat here OP. And if our parent WhatsApp group is anything to go by, so are most of the other Mum's in the year group! It's emotional! Ignore the stone cold posters telling you it's nothing!

Wow. What a nasty comment. Did that make up feel superior?

She clearly is the type of mother who doesn't give a shit about her kids....if she has any...

I love it when the first two replies on a post are completely contradictory.

All three of mine have left primary, I cried every time, they cried, all the mums cry, all the kids cry and some of the teachers.

It's an emotional time and you won't be THAT mum. There will be plenty shedding a few tears.

Oh gosh, I can't imagine how it was doing this in Covid times?

I've got another 5 years until youngest leaves so hopefully by then I'll have developed a bit more resilience 😮

My youngest finishes primary today...thank fuck. No more class dojo or school run!

I'm not a crier but it's tough - they're growing up and secondary school is a world apart from primary.

My first left in 2003 and last will leave next year so it will be the end of an era (or 30 years) of primary drop offs and pickups!

When my DS was at the leavers assembly most mums and some dads were tearful, as were the kids. It's perfectly normal to feel emotional.

I'd be concerned if parents weren't tbh

I swear DD school actively planned a leavers assembly designed to make everyone cry. They had emotional songs, speeches, photos from reception, awards designed to melt the toughest of parents. We were all a sobbing mess and the head looked very pleased.

You'll probably shed a tear, bring tissues and try not to howl audibly.

My eldest (twins) moved from primary to secondary during lockdown. We didn't get the opportunity to have a cry!

I did cry when youngest left last summer - I'm just a leaky-eyed type, I can't help it!