Follow to keep up with a loner

[lonersjargon]

That's it really. I'm a loner and will be diarising here - about little things I'm up to. Not sure anyone in the world would be interested. But it is what it is.

Thank you, lovely. ❤️

Hope you had a great time away. It's always a refreshing to do.

Yes, Mr Big did come for tea and we had a dinner date afterwards. He loved the tea and I thought the date went well, but he sent me a breakup text - one of those it's not you it's me type of reasons. So, I've been nursing a 'heartbreak' the past week and wondering what happened and why he didn't even give me as little as a conversation.

I had two other dates this week which I agreed to long before Mr Big ghosted me and it took everything in me to show up. One with a gentleman I'd call Mr Scribbler. I think the date went well (but what do I know at this point 😂). He hasn't asked me on a second date although he is still chatting with me. I was the one who asked him on the first date, so I'm guessing he is either not keen or does not take the lead on these things. I like Mr Scribbler because he dresses like a gentleman and is intelligent and easy to talk to.

Went to another date with a gentleman I'd call Fixer. He looks much better in person than on the app. He asked me for a second date at the end of the first date. So, I think the date definitely went well. I like Mr Fixer because he is easy to talk to, seems to come from a loving family and our conversations were easy and filled with laughter. So, tounch wood. I'm not giving up on meeting a love interest but I'll be careful and protect my heart as Mr Big was a reminder that people can be fickle.

I have heard of Feng Shui and in some way I designed my life for one. I am open to expanding, but I need to be careful who I open my world to as I've been taken advantage of one too many times in the past.

The birds are yet to visit. Can you believe that 😂. I am still patiently waiting.

I'm not doing much this weekend other than volunteering. Do you have anything planned?

I'm looking forward to next week. I'd like to be more productive at work and begin to make some progress on some personal goals that I've been stagnant on for sometime now.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend, whatever you get up to.

loanersjargon it could just have been there was no chemistry on Mr Bigs part once he got to know you better. Or perhaps he was dating multiple people too and has decided to become more committed to one of them now. Or one date has shown him he's not ready to date yet after his own heartbreak. Or he was just looking for sex and realises you're wanting something more serious. Him breaking up with you doesn't mean you did anything wrong. At least he sent a breakup text and didn't just disappear off the face of the earth. If you hear some of the dating horror stories you'll see a date that went well even if it didn't lead to a relationship, is still a good thing.

Mr Fixer sounds the most promising.

Mr Scribbler I'd expect him to arrange the second date. If he CBA to even ask you out there's no chance he'll be picking his own dirty socks up off the floor once you're married is there (😆 yep I just married you off already, oops!). Give it time, he might just be busy right now. Not too much time though, some people just like to pass the time chatting as an ego boost or else they keep you dangling as a backup plan if things don't work out with their current girlfriend. Mind you, depends what you want, he might be the perfect casual boyfriend even if he is a bit lazy.

I ghosted some guy once after he asked for my number then took two weeks to ask me out, with zero contact in between and with no explanation of why it took so long. I felt insulted that he felt he could leave me hanging that long so I never replied. Maybe he had a good reason, but I don't like people who don't communicate and expect me to be psychic about what's going on with them, so I saw it as a bad sign for compatibility.

I'm doing nothing more exciting than bingeing my YouTube Watch List this weekend.

Allaloneandlost the only thing I remember, from a magazine article about Feng Shui years ago, is not to have a mirror facing your bed because it's bad for your soul while you're sleeping. Something about that made perfect sense to me so I always followed this advice.

Great to hear from you @HermityHermitage.
Thank you for the perspective on Mr Big. It could have been a combination of some of those reasons. We kissed - initiated by him. I haven't kissed anyone in years, so kind of meant something to me.

You're right, I find Mr Scribbler to be low-effort and do not actually like his communication style. He sometimes took a day to respond to my message. He has sent a message today to say he didn't feel attracted to me but would like to remain friends. I've thanked him for being honest and said ok to being friends, but do not intend to put effort into it. So, it's only Mr Fixer on my horizon now. I'm trying not to be overly excited - do not want to be disappointed.

Well done you for ghosting that chap. I wish I'd have the discernment to do that eventually.
Hope your YouTube bingeing is going well. I'm here researching Feng Shui's position on mirrors and quite pleased to learn that I have not violated any mirror rules yet 😅

So, went on another date with Mr Fixer. We spent the entire day together, doing lunch and walking around and then stopping for bites in between. Didn't feel like a date - felt like two people who did not want to leave each other. Kissed at the end - it was amazing 🦋.
Not sure what happened but I'm still pinching myself because I do not feel the usual exhaustion from human interaction. Next date's been agreed... touch wood.

That sounds really positive loanersjargon.

I found an ancient unlabeled CD so have been listening to what I think is Y2K pop songs this morning 😁

That's amazing. The old songs do bring back memories, don't they? Pleased to hear you were enjoying some quality time with yourself. Have a lovely weekend, whenever it comes!

So, a bird came yesterday and ate most of the feed. I'm very happy 😃

Congratulations on your first bird. I put out a coconut but so far only a slug has eaten it. Usually they eat my plants 😠 I'm not sure I want to attract more of them to the garden!

Thank you 😊.
Love the idea of putting coconut out. Lucky slug.

I absolutely love this - made me laugh out loud! I have a dear friend who this reminds me of. I rarely see her as we both can't be arsed to socialise and like being in our own homes. She often says she'd like to go to bed for a year 😄

Hello Lovelies,

Sorry I'm late to this thread and hope all's well.

@lonersjargon Shame about Mr Big but hope things are going well with Mr Fixer. I agree with @HermityHermitage. It's brave to put yourself out there and you deserve somebody really nice! Understand you need to be careful and not get hurt.

@HermityHermitage You're doing well with Feng Shui! It's an interesting subject. Many don't believe but if it works that's great.

Hope your gardens are getting on well and you're having a great week.

Sorry again. That's working for the NHS for you! Looking forward to the next update and will check in again asap. Thanks :)

Thank you for stopping by @allaloneandlost
Hope you're doing well.
Thank you for the encouragement.
Little update on Mr Fixer, he invited me over to dinner with his family. They were all so welcoming. My mum also invited him to dinner at hers. He's been spending time at mine and I'm considering buying extra plates and cups etc as I only had one of each. So far so good. 😊

Just found this thread, another loner checking in.

I’m married and dh is probably the only person I feel completely myself around. I
have a job that forces me to be sociable and interact with others and I think that makes me value my alone time more and means I have few friends as I really don’t have the energy. I try though to nurture the relationships I do have. I’ve been introverted all my life but having lost my brother very recently, my friends have been a great support and I’ve realised I do need some people around me.

@lonersjargon Thanks for replying and glad all's well. How nice they're kind to you and it's a good sign when somebody includes you in their family's life, as they tend to be more genuine and serious.

@Doyouthinktheyknow Welcome and glad you have a few people.

I'm going to Norfolk tomorrow for the first time all week so hope to check in after that!

Have a great week all :)

@Doyouthinktheyknow You're welcome here. Pleased to hear that you've got a few people and that your friends have been supportive 

@allaloneandlost Thank you for the kind words. Enjoy Norfolk for the week. I've been a few times - loved it there.

Hope we all have a great week ahead. ❤️

Thank you for the warm welcome, hope everyone has a good week💐

AllAloneAndLost I've never been to Norfolk but interested to hear how your holiday goes and what it's like there.

DoYouThinkTheyKnow hello. I agree we need friends. I don't have many at the moment but I used to have more and when I split up with my ex I could spread the moaning about it around them all. If I had only one friend they might have been annoyed to get all the moaning. And when it's good news I have to share, I love having more people to talk about it with. So I'm hoping I make more new friends at some point.

LoanersJargon wow he must be serious about you if he's invited you to meet his family and I'm glad they were ok. People with dysfunctional families tend to be dysfunctional themselves to some extent and can make difficult partners, so everyone being warm and welcoming is a good sign. I hope it goes just as well when he meets your family too. Yes definitely get a few more bits of crockery so he feels welcome. Like if you only have one cup and you're drinking from it, it's awkward if he wants to ask for some water. I'm so glad you two seem happy though, it's sweet.

I have been renovating a cupboard this week. It's all shiny and new now. Makes me smile when I look in it.

Thank you, lovely.
Hope you're enjoying the cabinet. I'd love to do something like that too!
Things with Mr Fixer are still going great. He's met some of my family now.
I've had an extended weekend alone. Yesterday's weather was great, so I went on a walk for a few hours. I've had a lie in today, but now up wandering around my flat doing bits and bobs.
At some point, I'd have to prepare for work tomorrow. Kind of dreading going to face people at work but it is what it is. Life's a performance eh!

Hello Lovelies,

Thanks for being so kind. Hope you're well and sounds like it's all going good.

@lonersjargon Really glad Mr Fixer's becoming quite the permanent fixture and you're enjoying your own company! A nice balance on your time off of walking and resting.

@HermityHermitage How nice to paint a cabinet to cheer up these dark and rainy days!

Enjoyed Norfolk as it's quiet and pleasant. Started at Hunstanton which is a quiet seaside resort and enjoyed Sea Life, then onto Cromer which had nice shops including a lovely little second hand bookshop. Would have been rude not to stock up. Found a beautiful farm shop and went to Castle Rising. Rounded off the week with a day in Kings Lynn. Nothing bad but a bit run down, although the small museum was fun.

Work, oh that's another subject! A third of us have been in and as this is the NHS, say no more so have been knackered and will dip in and out of here as time allows.

Hope you're having a great week.

I love sea life places too all alone and lost I've been in a few of them in different places.

@HermityHermitage How fun, interesting and different aren't they?

@allaloneandlost Norfolk coast is so lovely, Hunstanton was the nearest seaside to us growing up so we went there and Blakeney and Holt a lot. Lots of lovely memories. I live by the sea now in a different part of the UK, it’s the best thing, being close to the sea🫶🏻

I’m finishing in my dreadful NHS job tomorrow, new job in a week and a half. Bit of a pay cut but so much less stress. All I seem to have done this past couple of weeks is deal with people and I’m definitely feeling drained by it🤪 A lot to handover so to be expected but it is exhausting.

Between ending this job and starting the next, I’ve got a little holiday so I’m hoping for some warmth and relaxation.

Hope everyone is having a reasonable week.

Hello loners I have just found this thread and reading it has been so refreshing

Id like to join as a fellow loner. I’m trying to end a LDR currently as it’s just not worth the bother and I really enjoy being alone at home and on holidays in nature.

@Doyouthinktheyknow Hunstanton really is great with loads to do. Hope you're having a nice rest somewhere. The bakery has the most enormous cakes I've ever seen. Want to see the rest of it on another holiday. You're right about the sea. I live in Wales where you're never far.

Hope your last day was okay and what a relief! Hope your new job's better. As another NHS worker, completely understand. It's not just the overwork and the pressure against low money and staff numbers, it's a culture that's more demanding and whilst some staff are great....

A bit less money's nothing to your wellbeing!

@Thighdentitycrisis Welcome and hope you're enjoying your week.

I'm off to London tomorrow after work for the Clean and Tidy show at Excel. Free tickets for NHS. Been third year running and the talks and workshops are fascinating. Always learn something new.

Hope you're all having a good week.

I had a LDR once thighdentity and I agree they're totally rubbish. I advise just getting it over with, there's no nice way to end a relationship and the other person will always feel hurt, but if you do it now you're at least saving them the expense of buying your Christmas present.

Aloneandlost the Excel show sounds interesting