Anyone you know ever said anything to you that's made you change your opinion of them?

[TrustPenguins]

Kind of light-hearted but...

Two examples recently:

1. A friend admitted (rather sheepishly) that he voted Tory. He said it was because of Labour's intended VAT on private school fees (his children go to private school). That was his sole reason.

I feel this was selfish and he wasn't looking at the bigger picture. I've always been taught to vote with the most vulnerable person you know in mind and of what is in their best interests. I was also shocked that a good friend would vote Tory full stop!

1. Another friend said he was supporting Spain in the football last night. Apparently his Mum is Scottish and his Dad is Scouse so they've never supported England (friend is English). When England played Italy in the previous final, he was cheering on Italy. When Italy won, he was celebrating whilst his kids were crying (they were supporting England). Just seems strange to me.

Obviously anyone can vote for and support who they like but I just never expected these friends to say / do this, and rightly or wrongly, it has changed my opinion of them a bit.
Just when you think you know someone...! 🤣

Anyone got any other examples?

The awful Sarah Everard case ... we were discussing it in a group and a friend piped up "well I've got no sympathy as she was breaking the lockdown rules by being out" ....

What a terrible thing to say... that's pure lockdown derangement.

It’s a large additional cost to his family. why do you think it’s strange that he’s voting on that basis? Should the “most vulnerable person” (that you’ve identified) also not vote in their own self interest?

that's a nice sentiment. But one that comes from a place of privilege usually. I think lots of people vote based on what's best for themselves.

I do think there is an element of patronising paternalism in it too. You especially see it towards Tory/reform and brexit voters who often tend to skew towards the working class. Guardian reader types think they know what’s best for them and everyone else. Their view is THE right one. Instead of just being tolerant enough to let people have their own opinions.

Wouldn't surprise me if Trump took the opportunity for a grope.

By those standards, I should snub everyone in the Irish pub where I live
The cheers and celebrations coming from the village pub when Spain scored and won, were mighty. And, according to my local radio station, all of Europe wanted Spain to win.

Why are we English so despised?😥

A next door neighbour who we had got on fine with for 5 years. We sold our house and he asked who had bought it. When I described them he said that he was very pleased it wasn't "some huge xxxx family" (fill in vile racist epithet). Fortunately I never had to see him again.

I was in a small, close group of mums when our DC were at primary. The first lunch we had when they'd gone up to secondary was awful. 5 of us there and one of them said "isn't it strange not knowing the the other parents? My DD went to a new friends house the other day and when we dropped her off it was a council house ". She'd never shown a hint of snobby twat before that. One of the other mums lived in a council house at the time, I'd grown up in one and my 2 DC had lived in one in their early years. I stood up and left.

A few years ago I met up with an old boyfriend from decades ago. We split amicably and went our own ways and met up to catch up with what we'd both been up to in the intervening years.

So during our 4-hour-long chat I started thinking, wow why did I ever split with this guy? He's as lovely and handsome as he was back then, a genuinely lovely man and I'd let him slip away.

He'd married a widow and taken on her child, raising her like his own, and had one more child. Now they had split and he was single again!

I asked him why they had parted. She'd caught him in bed with his 16-year-old stepdaughter.

Oh the virtue. Its trickling out like treacle

I have a very good friend who is also a devout Christian. No problem with that at all, but I did change my opinion of her a bit when she told me that she would always capitulate to her husband's wishes and thinks he should make all the big decisions in their life because woman was created after man and from man, so men are more important

Well, I do actually look at people in a different way if they tell me they vote Tory or voted for Brexit. Doesn’t mean I’m not tolerant- just means I know their values are very different from mine.

I didn't say I didn't tolerate different views, of course I do. This thread is about people you thought you knew suddenly saying or doing something you wouldn't have expected them to.

How do you know the people who also voted for your party don’t have “different values”? How do you know they are not just voting this way because they consider it’s the best way to assist the most vulnerable person they know?

I think we all know people who are vulnerable, who need more help / support than others. Why not help / support them if you can?

Was visiting a friend of 40 years and his new wife. The friend mis-used 'less' and 'fewer' so me and his wife, who is a professor of English, jokingly said 'Fewer not less'. He got weirdly aggressive and started going on about me 'carrying on a love affair' with the words. It was really off-putting and I felt like I'd seen a very ugly side of him.

@User6874356 not here for a fight- just saying what I feel and in my experience anyone who voted for Brexit I know I will not get on well with at anything but a superficial level.

Not according to your op. It’s about people you think about negatively because they vote in their own interests (rather than you who claim to vote for what you have decided is in the interests of someone else).

out of interest how do you decide who is the most vulnerable and what are their interests?

To vote on one niche thing that may or may not happen does seem strange to me. I understand it would affect him personally but what about all the other manifestos / policies etc? Totally disregarded because of this. He didn't vote thinking about the masses, society, the NHS, other public services, the country as a whole etc.

Colleague in a very well paid position made a big thing about having grown up working class whereas most of her peers at work were from privileged backgrounds. We usually did an office Secret Santa, but one year a few people suggested that instead we should collect the money that we would have spent on SS gifts and donate it to the local food bank. Colleague was very loudly opposed to the idea and said that she would not be giving any money to 'feed fat lazy twats who couldn't be arsed to work hard at school'. Totally changed my attitude towards her.

I used to work with someone like that. Positioned herself as 'the only working class person in the village', in a senior role in the civil service. She used to say the most appalling things about single mothers and people on benefits. Straight out of the 'They'll just spend it on fags and Sky TV' playbook. She got away with it because she was so aggressive and claimed to be speaking from her own experience. Absolutely awful woman.
.

But my friend - and I imagine many Tory voters- do come from a place of privilege. That's the point.

One of my ex friends told me she'd had a foursome with two random blokes and a female friend of ours. I found it a bit weird. We fell out over other reasons a few years later. Once they say that you can't mentally unsee it.

I suppose my point is that you claim to have selected these vulnerable people and decided what their interests are. Surely that’s a matter of opinion. Many wc people decided the tories or brexit were in their interests- I don’t agree but I vote on my interests and opinions and not theirs. If you were honest, isn’t that what you do too?

Dear God people can vote what they like for whatever issues or reasons they want. That's what a democracy is.

As long as I have been alive Labour has only been in power for 13 years - the rest Tory.

It isn't usual for Labour to be in- they've only been in for about 30 years of the last century as they're a weak opposition and always have been.

If you're going to look at people different for not voting for who you support, you'll be looking askance at most people your entire life.