Anyone you know ever said anything to you that's made you change your opinion of them?

[TrustPenguins]

Kind of light-hearted but...

Two examples recently:

1. A friend admitted (rather sheepishly) that he voted Tory. He said it was because of Labour's intended VAT on private school fees (his children go to private school). That was his sole reason.

I feel this was selfish and he wasn't looking at the bigger picture. I've always been taught to vote with the most vulnerable person you know in mind and of what is in their best interests. I was also shocked that a good friend would vote Tory full stop!

1. Another friend said he was supporting Spain in the football last night. Apparently his Mum is Scottish and his Dad is Scouse so they've never supported England (friend is English). When England played Italy in the previous final, he was cheering on Italy. When Italy won, he was celebrating whilst his kids were crying (they were supporting England). Just seems strange to me.

Obviously anyone can vote for and support who they like but I just never expected these friends to say / do this, and rightly or wrongly, it has changed my opinion of them a bit.
Just when you think you know someone...! 🤣

Anyone got any other examples?

I thought that too but maybe he has Irish family? It's a bit of a head scratcher.

I don't get the soccer support issues, you can dislike what a country stands for or what their soccer team stands for without it meaning anything personal to a person from this country. It wouldn't occur to me to read anything deeper into this.

Bloody hell, that's awful. That's the type of behaviour that would put me off someone, too. I couldn't care less how others vote.

One day I saw one of my neighbours determinedly trudging down the road wearing one rubber glove and carrying a very full but weirdly shaped dog poo bag.
She told me she'd collected all the snails from her garden and was taking them to the local field because she wanted them to have a good life but not in her garden. She told me that she did her "great snail displacement" <her words> twice a week.

Up to that point, I didn't know enough about her to form an opinion. But her "great snail displacement" was just so sweet and mental that I instantly fell in love with her 😆

Edited to change "deportation" to "displacement". I'm reading about deportation for work and confused my neighbour's snail shenanigans with government policy. As one does.

I remember a colleague I was quite close to and certainly had a lot of respect for, said (about a very young girl, maybe 12-14) in an absolutely disgusting sneery way “She’ll be pushing a buggy by the time she’s 18”.

When she saw my reaction, she tried to take it back “because of how vulnerable she is” but I knew exactly what she meant, and I have never seen her in the same way ever again.

I had a crush on a girl in 6th form and felt really weird when she said how casually she used to do drugs.

Something changed when she turned 18, she used to not even drink

A friend of almost 40 years stood by and listened to his adult son call DD names because she had refused to push someone out of her way and waited for them. DD wasn't there to defend herself. I can't bear to be in the same room as them any more.

Within the whole amber heard/jonny depp case a good friend talked lots about what people who experience DA should and shouldn’t do; essentially unless you fit the the victim stereotype then you can’t be a real victim. I’ve never looked at her the same way.
Also a member of my family who said racism doesn’t exist in England….

A good former school friend posted a link on Facebook years ago to a news item about a 15 year old in a Sharia state having a hand cut off for theft. She captioned it “This is what Muslims do to children.” She’s not thick and is a practicing Christian so I was very shocked at the stupidity as well as the bigotry. It put me right off I’m afraid.

Years ago, BIL and SIL said that they don't keep and reheat takeaway food.
I've never looked at them in the same way again. Bloody weirdos 😅

I have CPTSD from csa. It raised its ugly head in a big way a few years ago. I was just getting back on my feet and was out for the afternoon with what I thought were my best friends. They decided to loudly and repeatedly recount the Peter Kay nonce scene.
Haven't seen them since.

I think it was more his reason for voting that way. His one and only reason was because of the school fees thing. He said that himself. I just think it's a big selfish and narrow-minded to vote for a party based on one small potential change (that might not even happen).

I think it was more his reason for voting that way. His one and only reason was because of the school fees thing. He said that himself. I just think it's a big selfish and narrow-minded to vote for a party based on one small potential change (that might not even happen).

The football thing just seemed strange, spiteful even. He's a massive football fan, his whole family are. He's English - born here, raised here. Why would you not support your own country? And it's not like he supports another country, just any that's not England!?!

A tradesman we know well said a really racist, sexually violent comment meant as a 'joke' about a woman he was talking about. I can't look at him now without remembering it and it makes me sick.

I agree. I did say anyone can vote for or support whoever they like. I just didn't expect them to so it was a bit of an insight.

And yes, I don't get the being from Liverpool so don't support England thing either?!

Never heard of it as a thing?! It's what he said 🤷‍♀️

I've always been taught to vote with the most vulnerable person you know in mind

Don't mean to sound critical but who 'taught you' to vote? I vote for mine and my family's interests, and don't feel bad for doing so.

Grim. As is the ignorance of those who are asking you why it’s a problem.

Good friend 10y younger made face of horror about my gc views. Surprised to find she is full twaw considering I have always been the lefty in our friendship. I just would like to have a proper sit down talk about it. But have found it easier to.let things slide. It was like she'd suddenly said she was a fundamentalist Christian or flat earther.

Colleague in a very well paid position made a big thing about having grown up working class whereas most of her peers at work were from privileged backgrounds. We usually did an office Secret Santa, but one year a few people suggested that instead we should collect the money that we would have spent on SS gifts and donate it to the local food bank. Colleague was very loudly opposed to the idea and said that she would not be giving any money to 'feed fat lazy twats who couldn't be arsed to work hard at school'. Totally changed my attitude towards her.

I look at the bigger picture and vote with the most vulnerable people in mind.

I’m put off people who are intolerant of those who have a different opinion than them. Especially those who are judgmental of people who vote Tory or brexit- it’s so sanctimonious, intolerant and often classist to think people are evil because they don’t agree with you. And people who claim that they are voting for the “greater good” are often voting for their own narrow interests.

incidentally I’ve never voted Tory and am pro EU. But I can tolerate different opinions.

I'd imagine it was someone left leaning.

Who do you think are the most vulnerable people though? And why do you think you are the only person who knows what’s best for them (you seem to be indicating you’re not one of them).

Many of the other British people I know who are not from England, eg. Welsh Scottish etc, who actively support literally any other sports team, if said team is playing against England 🙄

I'm English (tho I'd describe myself as British) and it just feels so uncomfortable to think that they are friendly enough with me, yet clearly must despise England/ English people as a whole if they'd rather support any other random team, and vocally celebrate when England loses. It makes me doubt the otherwise friendly relationships.

People who eat something nice but their kids have the shit version (ie they will have cheese, crackers and grapes but their kid has a Lunchable).

People who just kill insects without even trying to catch and relocate them first. We are fucked without insects, the whole world is, and it's happening in real time (pesticides, loss of habitat etc).

Changed my mind sharpish about a friend who couldn't accept my decision without trying to mould it. I do mean what I say, I've thought about any decision from every single obsessive ADHD research angle lol, please don't try to override my polite decision. See also friends who are very very supportive of neurodivergence, until it affects them/what they'd prefer to get out of the situation. Then they will twist the situation to try and get you out of your comfort zone or levelmof literal ability to cope, despite claiming to be understanding of the effects. Luckily I've learnt to hold my ground.

A previously close relative who suddenly unleashed an impromptu racist rant one day.. it absolutely felt like a bucket of cold water was thrown on me. The relationship has never been the same since then, obviously.

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