Another child urinated on DS

[Gasbard]

At pick up earlier on 7yo DS came out of school in a pair of shorts. The teacher said “his pants are in his bag, they have wee on them” I thought that’s strange for DS to have had an accident, but nope a boy in year 5 (DS is in year 3) had purposefully urinated all over his pants while DS was in the toilets. It took me a while to get it out of DS as he doesn’t like trouble but DS said the boy pointed his penis at him and then urinated on him. Apparently the boy then said “ooops sorry I can’t control where it goes” then started laughing.

Not only am I fuming that this has happened, but also that the teacher didn’t tell me what had happened. According to another parent this boy has form for bullying and name calling.

I need to go into school tomorrow don’t I?

This is horrendous. Take a look at KCSIE and point out to the school where they have failed. You need a meeting with the head and/or DSL first thing. I would also report to the LEA and the chair of governors. I might even actually tell other parents. They have a right to know about this little pervert for the safety of their children.

can you imagine if a year 5 girl wee’d on another girl? There is NO WAY that would be ignored.

it’s toxic male behaviour that needs to be stopped when they are young as otherwise there is a strong risk they will grow up into abusers.

How does going there in person change things? She has her child's story. The school would investigate. She needs to report it so they can do so. Emails are certainly not ignored.

Oh god I'd go absolutely insane over this. I would 100% be speaking with his parents.

I would honestly report this to the police. It’s assault. I would also escalate to the school and if they didn’t suspend or even exclude I’d escalate to school governors

I would raise the roof over this.

I hope your son is ok

I agree that marching into school in the morning will not be effective. A well worded email stating what you have found out has happened including that you weren't informed by the teacher (although tbf they may well not know either) and request an urgent meeting about it is the way forwards.

No - you must go through the school.

That boy needs watching. That's not normal

You need to speak to the school because it's a safeguarding issue OP. You have no idea what's going on in that little boys life. Regardless of how you and other parents feel about him.

I hope your bairns alright.

Not every primary school has that amount of toilets - it really does depend on how many pupils are on roll, how big the school is etc.

Having said that, I work in an average sized primary and the the older children are not barred from sharing with the younger ones if that is their nearest toilet. Of course if an incident happened as in the OP, then that may change.

I can assure you that this email would not be ignored. If would be taken very seriously if that happened where I work.

This is disgusting. Your poor son must have felt like crap all day.
Definitely go in and sort it tomorrow and plan something nice to do with him at the weekend or after school.

Email the school tomorrow morning, to the headteacher and the safeguarding lead, cc your child's class teacher, to explain what your child has told you about what happened, who the other child was, etc. and the factual information that you know that supports this, e.g. that you were told by the teacher that your child's pants were in his bag, they had wee on them (use the words the teacher said, e.g. if they said 'urine', say that), and that it was not clear to you at that point that the urine was not from your child. Get as much information as you can from your child without causing further distress, and report exactly what they have said and not your interpretation of it. If you are able to ascertain how much your child told their teacher, also send this information - if the teacher was unaware that another child had done this, that's different from them knowing and not mentioning. Describe your son's behaviour this evening, if it has out of the ordinary. At risk of teaching granny to suck eggs, keep your sent email.

It's a horrible thing to have happened to your son, and he needs to know that he has no blame in this situation. He may also need some support to help him get over the incident.

The other child's behaviour isn't that of a happy, contented child. They may also need support of a different nature, and reporting this into the safeguarding lead may be a route to getting this behaviour onto the radar of appropriate agencies.

WTAF

What a vile bully the child is. And doing it to someone younger. I'd be pushing for them to take this seriously

They're both KS2. We have all of KS2 in one class, we certainly don't have separate toilets for them.

Where have they failed? For all we know, the teacher just thought that OP's DS had wet himself. So they failed by allowing two children to go to the toilet at once? Well then every school would fail every day, surely.

Reporting to the LA and chair of governors is pointless and completely ignores protocol.

Telling other parents is disgusting and could put the child at risk. Give the school a chance to safeguard everyone first.

OP, poor boy, I hope he knows he's done the right thing by telling you. Definitely ensure that you have a meeting with a safeguarding lead. Don't focus on punishment but on how your son, and other children, will be safeguarded. The older boy always being escorted to the toilet is the only way that I would feel safe.

Is he often bullied OP? If so, blame the school rather than the bully. A child who feels “safe” enough using his urine to humiliate other pupils is a child who knows well no teacher or headteacher has authority over him.

My child had similar, and contrary to all what I was advised, I moved him to another school. Best thing I ever did, it didn’t take more than a few weeks to see a far more confident version of DS, he made good friends and, despite under performing in the shite school, he quickly caught up in the new school and was placed in the gifted and talented group.

Fight of your child, talk to the teacher but don’t let anyone tell you that your child has to put up with this aggressions or be understanding because the other child has issues.

That's what I was thinking that given he didn't readily tell you what happened he may not have told the teacher what happened but it should definitely be reported.

So sorry for your son, that's a very mean thing to do.

I find the teachers choice of words interesting to say the least. In my experience they would say something like "he had a little accident". The fact that she said "they have wee on them" about the shorts, makes me think she knew fully well it wasn't him weeing himself and chose her words carefully.

Email the school tonight with all the info you already have and request an urgent meeting or call back explaining how they are going to deal with it. Chances are that if the teacher knew, as PP said, they are already on the case with the other child.

@Thisismynewusernamedoyoulikeit - any school that allows kids to piss on each other has failed big time. Unless he has profound additional needs, the child who did this had no fear of repercussions. What kind of a school environment is this? It’s vile, it’s criminal and the perpetrator deserves to be punished. Why should OP keep quiet? Why protect the perpetrator? Her child has been the victim of an assault and a humiliating one at that. This would be my hill to die on.

Definitely! That is utterly disgusting and degrading

Your poor boy. This really is heartbreaking and makes me scared for when DC starts school. I don’t know how I’d emotionally handle a situation like this. All I can say is that I hope he is ok and hope that the other boys actions are urgently addressed.