Another child urinated on DS

[Gasbard]

At pick up earlier on 7yo DS came out of school in a pair of shorts. The teacher said “his pants are in his bag, they have wee on them” I thought that’s strange for DS to have had an accident, but nope a boy in year 5 (DS is in year 3) had purposefully urinated all over his pants while DS was in the toilets. It took me a while to get it out of DS as he doesn’t like trouble but DS said the boy pointed his penis at him and then urinated on him. Apparently the boy then said “ooops sorry I can’t control where it goes” then started laughing.

Not only am I fuming that this has happened, but also that the teacher didn’t tell me what had happened. According to another parent this boy has form for bullying and name calling.

I need to go into school tomorrow don’t I?

I would go straight to the safeguarding lead. So not the teacher /TA/Head. This is important and sounds as if quite a lot of tightening of procedures needs to go on quite quickly.

You're probably right unfortunately

My mum told me about a boy who deliberately pissed on her in the school playground. He was then caned in front of the whole school (very different times)

When he was grown up his name often featured in the local paper for various crimes and misdemeanours.

That's disgusting and definitely needs dealing with!
Did the teacher definitely know what happened or did she think DS had had an accident?
I would be going to the office tomorrow morning and asking to see the headteacher.

I would go WILD.

its bullying
it’s humiliating and degrading.

I’d send an email tonight but I’d still be going in in-person and I’d be |•demanding a face to face with the headteacher and I’d be looking for an explanation from the teacher who just handed me a pair of pants… WTAF…

your poor poor son
what an awful thing to happen to him.

I work in a primary. It is hard work with multiple children across year groups who have behavioural issues for whatever reason. It's unlikely that children will be escorted any and every time to and from the toilet to ensure that they use it appropriately.

If this happened where I'd worked there would be an internal investigation and risk assessment done. The child may have a background which would need to be considered as part of this. I would in future ensure that the OPs DS and the child were never allowed in the toilets at any point together again - this may need a TA to escort the yr5 boy to and from the toilets in the short term but this is only feasible if there is a TA available. Even so the TA would not be able to go in the toilet with them.

That's actually chilling

Wow yes - you don't need to go in ranting but I would follow this up with the Head. If this was done at our school I would expect a suspension for the Year 5 boy.

I thought @Sherrystrull gave good advice about checking if your DS told anyone but actually thinking about it, if she said nothing when giving the pants back, she obviously didn't know or has dealt with it awfully. So either way, go to the Head.

Our primary has separate toilets for EYS, KS1 and upper and lower KS2 (4 sets of toilets). There is no way a Y5 boy would be allowed in the same toilets as a Y2 child, for exactly this reason (risk of bullying, not specifically the risk of one of them pissing on another).

It’s possible, bless him, so school definitely need to be told.

I've picked my battles through the school years, and let go on things that really riled me up. This isn't one of them, I'd be at the school first thing tomorrow.

This is really disgusting and disturbing. I'd raise hell tomorrow

Emails are easily ignored or at least put in the "fuck it we will deal with that later when we hope the parent isn't so bothered anymore " pile.

Face to face conversation not so easy to ignore!

There's no way I couldn't go in tomorrow. I'd see if they knew or not first but if it appears the school knew that the boy had done this on purpose I'd explode. The other kid sounds unhinged

Before establishing whether the teacher actually knows what happened?

That's really disturbing. I'd go as far to say that you wont send your DS in to school until you've had a meeting to discuss this face to face. Makes you wonder what the other child is subjected to at home, he's obviously got it from somewhere. This child can not for one minute think he's got away with it or he'll do it again or escalate. Big ((hugs)) to your DS, bless him.

Definitely not normal behaviour

Definitely a safeguarding issue

I’d first establish what your DS told the teacher. I’d then write down what your DS said happened (in his own words) and date it, make a copy for yourself and email a copy to the school ahead of going into school tomorrow and asking to speak to the HT about it.
This is peer-on-peer abuse and is categorically unacceptable. The school’s safeguarding training will be up to date (by law) so my guess is that the teacher doesn’t know what actually happened. I’m so sorry this is something you and your DS are having to deal with, absolutely vile.

@Gasbard I'm so sorry, this is devastating. How is your wee lad now? Sending you both lots of love x

Similar ish incident happened to Dd at primary but was spit - the teacher ran out into the playground visibly upset to tell me this awful thing had happened. I ended up relieved as thought she had been seriously injured! The teacher was more upset than Dd.

Omg. Your poor son

Sounds like teacher thought ds had wet his self

You def need to log this with the school

I'd be inclined to email so it's in writing, say you will be going in tomorrow to discuss this and you'd like the incident / your email logged on CPOMS or whatever they use to log safeguarding/ behaviour.

I'd be absolutely livid, I feel quite angry now for your poor boy! I'm guessing (hoping!) the teacher didn't know what happened but either way I would be in there first thing in the morning.

Thats horrendous.

OP what happened is awful and horrendous for your poor boy. I ask that you don’t go in all guns blazing. I’m a teacher and I would be absolutely devastated if I’d sent a child home not actually realising what had happened. If you find out that the teacher knew and did not let you know by all means go batshit, because they absolutely should have but just pause for a moment and remember - DS’s teacher is also human and having a go at her or the head teacher about her without knowing the full story will just make her feel even worse about it. If the school are worth anything they will investigate this immediately. Be clear you expect this but in my experience, the parents that go in calm but with clear expectations about what they expect get a lot further than the rash and angry parents demanding action. I really hope a chat with someone tomorrow will clear some of this up.

Bullying. Disgusting and vile behaviour.

@cansu Her child was urinated on. If it were my child I’d raise holy fucking hell, politely of course.