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Original poster

Do you sleep in the same bed?

87 replies

Newwwbalance · 09/07/2024 22:02

I just seen a tik tok with lots of divided comments

basically the poster was explaining she co slept with their eldest child (5/6 yo) and now does with the youngest who’s under 1 (following safe sleep guidelines etc) so now her husband is in with their eldest child

she said it works for them and they’re happily married and it’s taboo to admit you don’t share a bed

me and DH do. Sometimes our young kids creep in if they wake unsettled etc especially if we have work in the morning and need sleep

but what’s everyone’s views on this?

(just curious! There was a very sleep deprived time I considered this set up the tik tok poster describes so no judgment from me)

OP posts:
Tittyfilarious · 09/07/2024 22:09

Yes we do, but that's because we both want to and there's no problem with snoring or 1 of us being a light sleeper.

BuffaloCauliflower · 09/07/2024 22:10

I currently sleep with one toddler and DH with the other, this has been the best option for us all to get the most sleep, but we’re moving soon and both kids will have their own rooms so we’ll reset. I’m looking forward to sharing with DH again (though imagine I’ll end up with DC2 at some point in the night for a while yet)

NewShoes · 09/07/2024 22:12

Yes, love sharing a bed with DP. Unlike many I have never once shared a bed with either of my children!

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Ragwort · 09/07/2024 22:12

No, I sleep alone, hate sharing a bed with my DH!

Littletreefrog · 09/07/2024 22:14

Never slept in the same bed as either of my children apart from 1 night when DS was 16 and we were actually concerned he was a suicide risk. Sleeping in the same room was bad enough when they were babies as I wouldn't get a wink of sleep while they all slept soundly.

Littletreefrog · 09/07/2024 22:15

Oh I do share with DH but sometimes wish we didn't.

TeenLifeMum · 09/07/2024 22:15

We played musical beds when dc were little. I didn’t care who slept where so long as sleep happened. Tonight, dd2 is feeling poorly. She is a few weeks away from being 13 but currently asleep in my bed and dh will be sleeping in her bunk bed. Doesn’t happen regularly anymore but if any dc need comfort I’ll give it.

Babychewtoy · 09/07/2024 22:18

Me and DH often sleep in separate beds because we both like to stretch out and have lots of space.

3yo DS has never slept in our bed. I definitely wouldn’t be able to sleep with a wriggling child in bed. When he’s been ill and upset we’ve asked if he’d like to… he’s always said no.

DejaMooo · 09/07/2024 22:18

We're lucky enough to have a spare room so my freight-train-snoring husband gets banished a few nights a week when I want a good night's sleep. I could easily sleep alone every night but I always feel a bit worried about it affecting our relationship. If he didn't snore so badly I wouldn't.

afaloren · 09/07/2024 22:20

Usually. I don’t hesitate to move to the spare room if DH is keeping me up tho!

MermaidMummy06 · 09/07/2024 22:20

We have slept separately for years. We do get judgement (and some envy, too).

DH is much bigger than me and the mattress moved whenever he did. Woke me up... He goes to bed late & bumps around. Also woke me up..... He sleeps late & I'd have to creep around in the dark in the morning...

He also has a CPAP, which is still blows out air/often slips & whistles air out. Often falls asleep reading so starts snoring like a jet plane (still wakes me up & I have to get up & tell him to put it on or the whole house will wake up).

He's just sh*t to share with, so I don't. It's the only way I get a full nights sleep!

BaronessBomburst · 09/07/2024 22:21

DS co-slept with us on and off for years. It tailored off once he was about 13 but we're all still pretty flexible about who sleeps where and with whom. Last hotel we stayed in, he shared with DH and I got the sofabed. Sometimes he shares with me. We just do whatever is practical at the time.

outside1inside · 09/07/2024 22:22

Separate beds for us. Tried for years to sleep together but I always knew if he fell asleep first he would start snoring and I would get no sleep. Youngest sometimes comes in to one or other of us. If one of us hasn't had decent sleep for a few nights he is told to go into the other one.

Works well for us as far as sleep goes. As far as sex and relationship goes it's not great but it never was.

Autumn1990 · 09/07/2024 22:25

DH and I have separate rooms. It is the civilised way
I do often end up with a child in bed with me at some point in the night. They just get in and thankfully don’t wake me up

FawnFrenchieMum · 09/07/2024 22:25

Always shared a bed with DH and couldn’t imagine not.
Also never shared the bed with the children apart from odd nights when they have been ill.

tennisfann · 09/07/2024 22:30

I share a super king size bed with my DH and I never go slept with my DC.

bluebee17 · 09/07/2024 22:32

Always slept in the same bed as my husband couldn't imagine not having him next to me.
Our daughter who is almost 6 only ever sleeps in bed with us when she's feeling poorly.

SallyWD · 09/07/2024 22:34

We sleep apart about 50% of the time. DH goes to bed later than me and I don't like being disturbed. I tend to sleep alone on working nights (I work 3 days a week) and then sleep with DH if I don't have work the next day.

SickOfThisSht · 09/07/2024 22:36

Separate for DP and I. We both wish we could sleep in our bedroom (we’re in a bit of denial still so say he sleeps in the ‘spare room’ even though he’s been there for about 3yrs so it’s pretty much his room now!) but we both snore at the moment so it’s the only way to get proper sleep. It did start with cosleeping DD but now it’s just what works as DP does not handle lack of sleep well at all! I used to be ok with it but since motherhood I‘ll take all the bloody sleep I can get 😅

Sodullincomparison · 09/07/2024 22:41

Musical beds in our house. DD is six and she loves any opportunity for a sleeping buddy.

DH is a night owl and I had serious surgery six months ago and prefer to sleep alone.

but where we sleep can change nightly but generally we all sleep separately.

mondaytosunday · 09/07/2024 22:42

Nope kids in own bedroom from day one. The relationship with my husband was paramount, this meant having our privacy and own space. Only time in with us was if bad nightmare or poorly, which was rare. When my husband died my six year old son did sleep with me for a couple months, but stopped when we moved.
In case anyone think we were heartless, I BF exclusively (second child for a year), and never let them cry for more than a minute. I was just good at establishing a routine from the off.

Hoglet70 · 09/07/2024 22:45

Always slept with DH in a Super Kingsize bed so if the kids and dogs wanted to get in it was fine. Nobody gets in with us now but it was great when they did.

sugarbyebye · 09/07/2024 22:46

Greyhounds, cats, partner, and the occasional mouse 🐭

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 09/07/2024 22:50

@Newwwbalance I actually do not get this co sleeping thing at all!! why would you even want to start that?? rod for their own backs with some people. even on this post, co sleeping with a 13 year old son???? wtf is that all about? I am 69 and have always slept in the same bed as hubby!

GG1986 · 09/07/2024 22:54

I sleep alone, partner snores really loud and I was getting hardly any sleep. It works best for us and we all wake up happy and refreshed rather than moody and resentful.