Do you sleep in the same bed?

[Newwwbalance]

I just seen a tik tok with lots of divided comments

basically the poster was explaining she co slept with their eldest child (5/6 yo) and now does with the youngest who’s under 1 (following safe sleep guidelines etc) so now her husband is in with their eldest child

she said it works for them and they’re happily married and it’s taboo to admit you don’t share a bed

me and DH do. Sometimes our young kids creep in if they wake unsettled etc especially if we have work in the morning and need sleep

but what’s everyone’s views on this?

(just curious! There was a very sleep deprived time I considered this set up the tik tok poster describes so no judgment from me)

13 are you serious I thought when people where talking about co sleeping I assumed they meant with their babies/toddlers I didn't realise parents where sleeping with their teenagers.

They were happy to sleep in with me, and I was happy for them to do so.

I do but know a few close family members who don’t. The male used to snore very very loudly and the female needed sleep to be up with their young kids. Now kids are older and the snoring is sorted, they share again.

to be fair, we dont have the space not to share currently but in the future (once we have more than one bed) we hope to have a spare bed that I can sleep in when I’m in pain (disabled). My partner gets woken up by me tossing and turning on the occasional really bad pain night and I get annoyed that I can spread out as much as I’d like! 😂 won’t be every night but for convenience, we plan to try it!

With DH apart from a few nights last year when we got a puppy and I went into the spare room with her. Made sense to me because I worked nights for 30 years, I was better at getting up. Only as babies did the DKs share our room. No way I could sleep with a baby or toddler in the bed. I'm such a light sleeper,my oldest Ds says if you drop a pin on the grass I wake up. Standard double bed, plenty big enough for us 2. Occasionally we were joined by a dog when they were younger.

The majority of the time we sleep separately because we work different hours. I work later and when I get home and I've decompressed, I don't want to disturb DH and he is usually snoring - I'd never get to sleep.

We do share our bed when not working.

I love that I can go to bed and not be irritated by DH snoring, or worse, moving.

We have separate bedrooms now, both snorers, one lark one owl, I shut my eyes and sleep while he twitches for hours etc etc. No kids at home and both home for a lot of the time so we have plenty of opportunities for afternoon delight. I’d say half our friends have similar arrangements.

About 50% of the time we cuddle all night.
About 30% of the time we share a bed amicably but with no cuddles about 20% I just hate him being near me and we rue having no space until the kids leave home (18 year old looking good!)

I always sleep with dh, I'd hate not to. We both value the intimacy and the time for just the 2 of us as a couple.
I've never slept with any of my children. No desire to at all, even when the youngest was small and a bad sleeper one of us would go in to his room for a few minutes, settle him then back to our own bed.

For several years when our children (autistic) were young we converted a bedroom into basically a giant mattress and all slept there. We did what we had to do because we were on our knees with exhaustion.

Fast forward 20 years and I have my own bedroom. My husband has his own too.

It's bliss.

I never want to share a room or a bed with anyone ever again but I don't regret the cosleeping back then. We did what we had to do to be able to function.

Four toddlers and no I don't share a bed they have there own rooms. The most I shared when I bf the first year then off to there own beds and the girls are 2 and the boys 3. We have 2 beds in our room king and single and works for us as hubby has restless leg syndrome so the only way I could get sleep and now be kicked all night was this solution and it works for us and the same on holiday lol

I think it's only in the last few years it's become allowed to say you sleep in separate beds but i.always knew my grandparents did 1 because my grandad did weird shifts and 2 my gran snoring kept all awake and actually I realise my parents mostly did and my uncle and aunt

Me and dh share a bed. If children are unwell they will sometimes be in our bed and dh on couch.

DH and I haven’t shared since he was feeling awful when he had COVID and we realised separate suits us better. My sleep is “difficult” due to peri-menopause.

DS (10) used to come in occasionally but we’d mainly go to his double bed if he needed comforting. He goes to DH still if he has trouble sleeping.

I cannot sleep with anyone in the bed, let alone DH who snores, thrashes around and bedhogs. I have my own clean, tidy and peaceful bedroom.
I rarely had a dc in with me when they were children, co-sleeping wasn’t a thing 40+ years ago.

We generally sleep separately, both snorers, but I'm particularly bad and DH is a light sleeper so he normally wanders off to the spare room.
I can sleep in certain positions to avoid snoring, so if the spare room has a guest in it I'll do that, but it isn't comfortable long term - it's sleeping sat up

We never shared with the children when they were little, unless DH was away with work then they'd love to clamber in with me!

We always start the night together, but I usually end up in bed with the toddler. He's my last baby, and I secretly adore the cuddles, he won't want me near him before long.

Nope. I'm autistic and need space and complete quiet.

I never co-slept with any of mine.
I do have 2 children sleep in the bedroom but they have their own beds.
At the moment dh sleeps in the front room with our 2 year old.
Once we move things will change
DD 17- will have her own room
Ds7- will sleep in our room - due to sleep walking.
DS2 and ds1 - will share a room
Dh - will sleep in our room

Always sleep together. Hate sleeping apart. Kids in own rooms.

Partner and I are both terrible snorers, so we sleep in separate rooms. Both happy with the set up. Kid starts out in their own room, then sneaks in overnight into my bed.

We share but sometimes a four year old creeps in or very rarely a bone year old. If the 4 year old takes up too much bed I'll get in their bed instead. Sometimes they'll call me in to their bed and if I'm tired I'll just get in and sleep Vs getting them to sleep and leaving.

I'm boring enough that sex happens in bed at the start of the night so if we never shared, we'd never do it 🤣

I have 4DC, never slept with any of them, all grown now but always in own beds. Tbh it's only recently I've seen this big shift to co sleeping.
I do think long term it does damage your relationship.

Yes we share. I struggle to sleep if we aren't touching. DC all grown up now so sleep in their own beds or own houses.

At the moment I share with DS and DH shares with DD. DD will probably come back in with me and DS soon though. The idea is that once they start staying in their own beds all night then I'll go back to sleeping in our room with DH. But at the moment DS wakes every night and I don't want to deal with getting up and settling him or having him come and share the bed with me and DH (I can share with one person, not two!). In their room we have two single beds and an IKEA day bed so they start in their single beds and I sleep on the day bed alone until DS wakes up and joins me.

There was a brilliant book when my kids were little called Three in a Bed which took away the stigma of what is entirely normal and what most families do.
We bed shared for years. Yes, we're still married. Yes, we have brilliant relationships with our late teens/twenty somethings. No, we didn't create a rod for our own backs (how many times did I hear that phrase).
I would do the same again in a heartbeat.