Do you sleep in the same bed?

[Newwwbalance]

I just seen a tik tok with lots of divided comments

basically the poster was explaining she co slept with their eldest child (5/6 yo) and now does with the youngest who’s under 1 (following safe sleep guidelines etc) so now her husband is in with their eldest child

she said it works for them and they’re happily married and it’s taboo to admit you don’t share a bed

me and DH do. Sometimes our young kids creep in if they wake unsettled etc especially if we have work in the morning and need sleep

but what’s everyone’s views on this?

(just curious! There was a very sleep deprived time I considered this set up the tik tok poster describes so no judgment from me)

Have never co slept with my son, if he was poorly when younger I would sleep on a mattress on the floor in his room, he seems to like his own space like me! Don't live with my partner but as he's got older he snores so loud and also twitches in his sleep which moves the mattress and wakes me up! I used to sleep really well but now a very light sleeper due to peri menopause I think so when we do stay at each others one of us often ends up in the spare room!

Never slept with DC's, and haven't slept with DH for years either. We all have our own beds and bedrooms. Bloody wonderful.

I used to know an amazing family, a couple and a few young children. The main bedroom was just a series of mattresses on the floor and everyone slept there for a few years. It worked for them. I don't know at what ages that stopped but I though it was a great solution to an age old problem.

Separate beds for us. He snores, farts and thrashes about.

We sleep separately. My husband’s snoring is horrendous, we’d end up divorced if we didn’t have a spare room for me to move in to (or we never would’ve got married in the first place). I occasionally end up with our 3.5year old in with me but only when he’s unwell or had a bad dream, etc.

Yes, we sleep in the same bed. It's a super king though as I like my space. We first bought a super king bed when the kids were little so there was room for us all on a bad night.

I shared a bed with ds when he was 7/8 when we went away for the weekend. Other than that, no. He slept in our room in his moses for 6/8 weeks ago then graduated to his cot. He was a fantastic sleeper from Day 1. I'd do our bedtime routine, kiss and cuddle him, put his nursery rhymes on and didn't often hear a peep. I don't really get co sleeping and having kids in your bed in the middle of the night. We are very close but ds didn't ever do that. I think it's good to teach children the skill to self soothe. We used to watch tv on the bed sometimes, read together on the bed, I would cuddle him on the bed when he was young. etc but we never co slept. Now he's 18 he will lie on our super king chatting to me before ds comes to bed!

We sleep alone. We used to have no end of arguments and fighting and it wasn’t worth the sleep deprivation. We’ve since got married lol

We mainly sleep together, but DP is an awful snorer so sometimes sleeps in the spare room. I teach so have six weeks off over summer, and he’s more likely to do it then through the week knowing he has to be up for work and I can lie in. If one of us is ill he will sleep in the spare room too (which is also his office/man-cave, I never sleep in there!). He travels abroad for work quite often and I love having the bed to myself although I do miss him.

Always share a bed with dp. The kids have their own beds and they was taught from the start that's where they sleep so never been an issue. It always amazes me how many people let children dictate their lives. Are people who co sleep with their children also going to bed at the same time as them.?

Yes, we di but we have a super king bed. We are both tall and also sleep like octopuses 🐙 🤣🤣🤣

Our bed is a child, laptop, food and dog free zone.

We've slept separately for 26 years since I was first pregnant with our second, and his warthog snoring was driving me to insanity.

All three babies slept with me at times, sometimes in the cot in my room, sometimes in bed. Youngest slept with me until turning 4. I loved it! Was breastfed until coming 2 and it was just easier during the night!

Of course not!

He was a fantastic sleeper from Day 1. I'd do our bedtime routine, kiss and cuddle him, put his nursery rhymes on and didn't often hear a peep. I don't really get co sleeping and having kids in your bed in the middle of the night.

You might 'get it' if you had kids who weren't fantastic sleepers, despite having a bedtime routine, nursery rhymes etc. After about a month of getting up 10+ times a night for one of our kids, we couldn't give a toss where anyone slept as long as they slept, so we could sleep.

So if people co sleep with their children but don't go to bed with them they just put them to bed in the marital bed rather then their own beds. If the child is sleeping alone for 4/5 hrs surely they don't need to co sleep and can be put on their own room

I thought that for safety reasons, babies were supposed to be in your room with you for at least 6 months?

My eldest was in with us until we had their sibling just before they turned 2. 2nd and 3rd were in with me until they were going to school. I loved it!

DH and I sleep separately because of his horrific snoring. He sleeps in a double downstairs and I sleep in the king upstairs. I am often +- a child, particularly the little one but mainly because I can't be bothered to get out of my comfy bed, put him back in his bed (if he wakes me!), once I'm woken I find it so hard to get back to sleep!

When did you get a break from your children

It's just how it worked out with my children! I had no desire to put them in their own rooms. They're all adults now and I have no regrets!

One of my cousins used to go on and on about how they would never sleep in their own rooms, but they did, not an issue!

When I was at work.

Same bed. If one of our kids is ill, they will sleep in our bed and DH goes to their bed. Youngest is 4 and will take any opportunity to be my limpet. He literally would sleep stuck to the side of me. I've woken up with his face joined with mine. I never notice him come in. DH will put him back in his bed usually, occasionally when we know he's unwell he gets to stay. DH snores when he's unwell himself with colds, so in that scenario, he takes himself off to the sofa so I can sleep and he can sleep because I'm not moaning about the snoring.

I don't mean this horribly just genuinely curious was the kids being in your bed more for you then, them

To those asking about why you would cosleep if you have any choice- It has been one of the loveliest bits of motherhood having my kid cosleep with me. He was fine on his own but just preferred to me with me, slept longer/better and
was much more civilised to sleep next to than my snoring twitching partner at the time.
my son naturally stopped completely around 12/13 I think.

Slept separate for
About 8 years. I'm 49.
If we had to sleep together we would seriously be divorced. Kids never sleep in with either of us, apart from very rare occasions of sickness.
The fact my sleeping pattern is really bad, he can fall asleep in 2 seconds, the weight of us both and the absolute mental snoring would make me rage!! Plus I work days and nights, he is days only our internal
Clocks are so different
It works for us both, he's happy to sleep alone. Can have sex anytime, watch tv in bed together but for sleep it's separate always and that's how it will stay!
Don't feel bad about it, it has kept us together.

We don't even share the same house, never mind bed.

Together for 6 years and one dc 15 weeks.