Likelihood of neighbours exploding with rage

[Setorrunny]

The live next door. We both have detached houses. Gardens run alongside for about 40’ and then our plot has a field and paddock attached and then it’s open countryside for literally miles.

The neighbours hate forriners. We are forrin and slightly brown. They moved from their last house to “get away from that sort of thing” and must have been horrified to see us!

Anyway they have complained about pretty much everything they can. Noisy mower. Noisy children. Holiday cottage (tiny, for 2 people) at the end of the field. Our BBQ. Our chimnea. Not putting the bin away quick enough, and the outdoor solar fairy lights being too bright and on a flashy pattern.

They are only mid 30s and have two young children who they won’t let play in the garden in case someone from the holiday cottage sees them because literally any paedo could be in there, etc.

Latest was that they objected to me and DH quietly chatting on the patio at the outrageously late hour of 10:30, Saturday before last. They come round and stand with their finger on the ring doorbell, ranting.

Anyway, the local farmer has delivered two beehives and they’re buzzing away beautifully, in our garden. They are placed in such a way that forces them to fly up and over, away from the neighbours but some of them are quite disobedient.

I don’t think the neighbours have noticed yet. But they’re going to go crackers aren’t they?

I looked it up now as I needed to know for myself why we used it. Apparently it comes from agricultural background when someone dig up a really good carrot and then scrubbed it clean…so there we go…every day’s a school day.

Same here. Flashing outdoor lights are obnoxious and bad for wildlife.

forrin and slightly brown

(Clutches pearls) What a diabolical liberty! Forrin...and brown?

Ah that kind of smart, not the clever kind. Hmm it doesn’t trip off the tongue. Thank you though for googling, may try and bring it back!

My friend lives on the edge of town, and the local riding school for the past 60 years have wandered up the road about half a dozen times a week..... of course the brand spanking new edge of town and advertised as overlooking COUNTRYSIDE estate (with loads of lights on) has complained about the horse poo in the road. It's raining today and I guarantee the horse poo from this week will be washed away, but they'll still complain.
Can you invite horsey friends to use your road ? I'd also recommend seeing if you can lend your field to a farmer for calves recently separated (noisy and poo a lot)

Oh and she made a comment to a mutual acquaintance about how unfair it was that not everyone gets a grammar school place

Does she not understand the fundamental nature of grammar schools?

I'd be annoyed by flashing fairy lights.

And wind chimes. Very definitely by wind chimes. In every tree.

Very annoyed.

Flashing fairy lights annoy me too, but I'd probably learn to embrace them if my neighbours were racist arseholes who were even MORE annoyed by them than I was. I'd probably add to the collection tbh.

The fundamental nature of grammar schools is that what is fair is when local not-brown children get in because they are From Here and not these blow-ins.

(we have only been here for 19 years)

Might I add: disconnect the doorbell

The Fairy Lights are Christmas ones. They are on my porch. Next door can only see them from their own porch or driveway. And they are for about 4 weeks a year, in the hours of darkness.

By contrast, the neighbours are not seasonal arseholes. They’re full on hardy perennial.

I’ve disabled the sound but kept the video capability.

And a cockerel!

I’m in Cumbria and it’s a common saying here
also I never knew why we say make a bee line for so thanks for that 🤣

Geese. Oh my, try geese. You get eggs, heightened security and plenty of countryside noise.

You lot are wicked 😂😂

And OP, wish you lived next door to me! You sound great fun, you carry on being “forrin”😂😂

Further developments!

I bumped into neighbours from the other side and they said that Mouse-wife from next door had been to them to see if “something could be done” about us!!!!! Nice NDN who I’ll call Betty, said she didn’t know what she was on about and mouse-wife said “they burn stuff, even bits of tree!” I think the word she was searching for was “log” but apparently bits of tree is unacceptable.

And more complaints about not knowing who is in the holiday cottage and “it’s advertised everywhere, all over the place.” Yes. Yes it is.

Then another neighbour from further along came over to tell me that mouse-wife had spoken to him too and he told her she was crackers and should mind her own business and how dare she behave like this! He’s a really elderly mild mannered gent and I was touched he was so riled on our behalf!

So anyway, the smear campaign continues!

I’ve just spent an entertaining few minutes reading this thread. Judging by some of the po-faced responses, some MNers must know your neighbours! Top work with the bees, that’s inspired.

Guinea fowl make a fucking racket !!!
Just a suggestion !

My daughter has neighbours like that. When they - the nutters - moved in from elsewhere in the town, several people, who knew them of old, warned her what to expect. Definitely have bees. Have lots of them.

Oh, just saw the geese suggestion. Yes. Geese and bees. Perfect.

Agree with most things you have said, but would be mindful of the chatting on the patio in the evening. People are often unaware of how loud they are being (even when they are trying not to) and it can be a pain in the arse when you have young children sleeping in back bedrooms in summer with the windows open.

Yes, they’re arseholes and racist arseholes to boot. Carry on looking happy and cheerful, soooo smiley, all the time. Nowt pisses off miserable people like others being happy.

Get a Donkey?

You need two

Or a donkey plus pony

Donkeys get lonely on their own