I’m at a coffee shop and….

[Bambiwithlonglegs]

Waiting for a friend to turn up! I sit at a table and the whole coffee shop is empty. I order my hot chocolate and start drinking and then a woman walks in orders her drink and sits at my table!! I’m stunned. I actually didn’t know what to say!! Should I ask her to move or move myself ? I’m messaged mg friend saying some woman has sat at our table!! My friend turns up and I said to her I’ve messaged you and she looks at her phone and sees the text I sent to her saying some random woman has just sat at my table and she suggests we both move which we did!!
should I of asked the woman to move?

Was it the 'sit here for a chat' table?

That's her table, that is.

How large was the table?

Just move to another table yourself. What a cheeky intrusive woman. How annoying!

edit. I noticed you moved sorry! Yep I would have moved.

Use your words
I am waiting for my friend and she will be sitting there so unfortunately you will need to move.

But it's a free country and a public coffee shop, and the woman will probably USE HER WORDS to tell the OP to piss off and she can sit where she likes.

Oh, you've missed a chance to have fun with her.

You could have started telling her about a really embarrassing health condition, awful relationship problem or just something more benign like how you also have that top but you don't wear it because it makes you look really fat.

Or go back with your friend and invite her to join your cult, Rishi Sunak fan club or spider breeders association.

Watch her run away fast.

I can't believe you didn't just say, "Sorry, I'm waiting for my friend".

But this is Mumsnet where it seems 90% of posters are too 'shocked', 'stunned', 'gobsmacked' etc to utter a word to anyone 🤷‍♂️

AGAIN, it's a public coffee shop. OP had no right to say anything to the woman. She can sit where she likes. Even if it IS annoying. Like the OP I would have just moved.

Possibly, but so what?

Better to speak to the woman than start a thread on a chat forum, because she couldn't simply, errr....speak to the woman? 😳

Why didnt you just say

‘Hello, may i help you?

Of course OP has a right to say something.

In an empty coffee shop it is downright strange to join someone you don't know at a table.

At the point where she moved the chair you glare at her and go 'I'm waiting for a friend'

None of this niceness rubbish - she's being rude, give it right back to her.

I can’t believe you didn’t say anything.

Didnt have to be confrontational. Just ‘that seat is isn’t free’

Well I would not have said anything. I would have moved. Like most people would.

In the real world MOST people would not say (in an annoyed tone with a tilted head) 'hello may I help you?' or confront the woman and tell her to move the fuck away. What a crock. As if people would say/do that in real life! 😆

You'd all just move, or stay there, you wouldn't confront her, and ya know it!

Highly unlikely but then I suppose so is sitting with a complete stranger for no apparent reason

How weird. I’d have thought I’d have said something but when it actually happened to me and a man sat next to me on the train when seats were free, I didn’t feel I could.

Eventually I did move and he turned round and asked me if there was a problem!

Why didn’t you just say the seat was taken? Next time put your foot on it. That slows down randoms who try to sit on your table when there are empty tables.

I absolutely would have said something.

‘Sorry - I’m meeting a friend. She’s about to arrive. There’s lots of free seats’

Said with a smile and a look to gesture all the empty seats. Wouldn’t think twice about it.

You might not have said anything.

I don’t know anyone in real life who wouldn’t have done.

It doesn’t need to be confrontational. No one is saying it had to be arsey. But I think you are wrong with ‘most people wouldn’t’

Same, exactly that. And if she was weird or confrontational then I would have just moved to an alternative table, not worth getting into a scrap over.

I would have given her a WTAF look then moved.

i don't mind if someone sits with me if there are no free tables & they ask, otherwise it's just weird & rude to sit on someone else's table.

Why didn't you just say 'I'm waiting for someone' 😂

I don't think it's worth saying anything. People like that are either oblivious, on drugs, drunk, suffering from something, or just bloody minded. She could be afraid of wide open spaces or sitting alone.

It's like the big empty car park, nothing around you and then a car approaches and parks right next to you.

I'd have just got up immediately and moved off out of her sight and earshot.

(With a tilt of head, a large sigh, and eye rolls).

How is being passive aggressive any better, in any of the situations you mentioned?