I’m at a coffee shop and….

[Bambiwithlonglegs]

Waiting for a friend to turn up! I sit at a table and the whole coffee shop is empty. I order my hot chocolate and start drinking and then a woman walks in orders her drink and sits at my table!! I’m stunned. I actually didn’t know what to say!! Should I ask her to move or move myself ? I’m messaged mg friend saying some woman has sat at our table!! My friend turns up and I said to her I’ve messaged you and she looks at her phone and sees the text I sent to her saying some random woman has just sat at my table and she suggests we both move which we did!!
should I of asked the woman to move?

You seriously think that Most people wouldnt say something???

You clearly live in a different world to me

😂😂😂😂

I've had this happen on a train too! It so intimidating. I moved eventually, because I didn't feel I could say anything. The man just happily spread out over 2 seats!!!!🤬🤬

If it was a table for two then you should say 'excuse me that seat is taken'.
If it was a table for four weird for sure so I'd have just moved I guess, giving the woman a 'look'.
If a place is packed and if I see an empty chair I would always ask if I could sit at a table. I wouldn't just sit randomly.

Oh my gosh OP you missed a prime opportunity as she sat down, you should have addressed her immediately:

"Bobby "the butcher" Smith sends his new side piece to discuss the recent shipment problems we've been having?! After the bad batch that left five dead, a mess my people cleared up, this THIS is how he repays me!"

Texts friend.

"My associate isn't going to be happy about this when she gets here. Bobby owes her big. You tell him Bambi isn't happy..."

Wipe your face and move tables. Occasionally gesture to her when you and your friend are chatting.

Exactly.

We're all different but the PP was definitely judging everyone by how she would've handled it.

Getting up and meekly moving tables, is not what all of us would've done.

You'd all just move, or stay there, you wouldn't confront her, and ya know it!

Nope.

Why in god's name wouldn't you say something?

Of course a normal person would say "I'm sorry, this table is taken. I'm waiting for my friend to join me," as soon as she went to sit there. There's no way I'd just sit there struck dumb when some rando sits at my table in an empty cafe.

That’s so wierd of that women!!

"Oh Christ, you're not my date are you? Oh well, you'll do. I've got the rubber gloves in my bag, do you want to go first or shall I?"

Just out-weird them.

Yes, to a car park situation. It’s so funny always. Empty car park at 7.30pm you are far enough from the entrance and still they park next to . you. I usually tell DH that they’ve liked his style of parking.

I would move from the table. I wouldn’t say anything or do eye roll suspecting that she wanted exactly this - a conversation.

I too would have just said that my friend is on her way.

But thinking about it, it would be fun to start waxing lyrical about, say, Reform and how wonderful it is that they're doing well, and isn't Nigel Farage brilliant [or insert contraversial opinion of your choice]. It could lead to an interesting conversation, her leaving abruptly, or me having to run away and text friend to meet elsewhere.

I had this happen to me once, bless him it was an older gentleman and we'd done the niceties of some small chit chat at the counter, I sat down and then he came to join me, in my shocked state I didn't sit dumbstruck in silence I just said "oh would you like me to move?" He said "oh don't worry I will sit somewhere else, just thought you wanted the company" i did feel bad after because he clearly wanted the company but it was such a weird thing to do in an empty cafe that it just came out (and I desperately didn't want the company, I went to enjoy my own company 😬)

Yes of course I would have. Oh - sorry, there’s someone sitting there.”

How hard is that?

Exactly.

OMG if a man did this to me on a train I would be livid. I would have no hesitation in saying, “Excuse me, there are plenty of empty seats. Why have you sat here?”

Same thing happened to me once in a pub. Place was literally empty. I walked around looking for my pal, went to the toilet, went to the counter, ordered and waited and all the while the place remained empty. As soon as my friend arrived a random lady came in and sat down into our booth. She just sat there not talking. I didn't know what to say but when my friend asked her if we could help she said 'this is my seat'. We said there was no one here and the table was clear but she insisted she had been there first. We just left and moved but still laugh about it. There are some really crazy folk out there

You should have texted to your friend to pretend she couldnt see the woman and sit on the chair, on her lap. That would have been fun!

Yes, absolutely this. Why all the ' I' d sigh and roll my eyes" "give her a look of WTAF". The woman may not have realised, instead of assuming people are rude, it's much more likely she was oblivious/miles away/mental health problems/had bad news/dementia/ endless list of possibilities. Just say " sorry, my friend is coming shortly to join me" or if she seems deep in thought or not responding, just get up to greet your friend, take your drink with you, and sit at another table.
Just be kind, and don't assume the worsr of people straight away.

This is nuts! We clearly live on different planets as being a public coffee shop doesn’t mean you sit at a table and a random person joins you, unless they’re running speed dating this is not normal behaviour and it’s perfectly socially acceptable to reserve a seat for a friend in a “public coffee shop”. It’s basic manners. You say “oh sorry my friend is just coming to join me” and the other person says “oh okay” and moves. Job done. I doubt they will pull a knife.

Why make it a problem, if the coffee shop is empty simply move 🙄

I would be worried that she was lonely or struggling or something

It's a strange thing to do and you don't know how she might react. My partner and I had this meeting our a voluntary in an otherwise empty coffee shop. Papers on the table, talking business - and a woman sat on the fourth seat at our table. It felt very odd, very off. Barista said as we were leaving that she sat in that seat every single day no matter who was there.

Could you not break wind?

Totally agree, what bizarre behaviour!

I would have picked up my phone and pretended to have phoned someone then said “Oh my god, the serum worked! Totally invisible, yeah! I’m in this cafe by myself - apart from me, it’s totally empty. This woman has come and plonked herself down at my table! She obviously can’t see me or she would have asked if I wanted company or something! How fantastic! Congratulations!!! Yeah! See ya!” Hung up the phone, picked up my tea and sipped it while giving the woman the hairy eyeball.

In my dreams….

In my real life, I would have said “Are you quite right there?”