Secondary kids in the Holidays when you're working.

[GeneralMusings]

I'm looking at a job that's prediomiantly in person. My husband works mainly in the office too.

What do your kids do over the summer holidays/holidays in general?

I think my 15 year old can get about fine but my 12 year old is quite a young 12 year old and would find lots of days at home without an adult hard.

I think post covid it seems everyone wfh and has a parent home even if they're working!

Do they have any hobbies which might have a club? Drama clubs often do a week or two summer holiday clubs which would be good even if you don’t do drama. It’s mostly playing games etc. If your youngest is extroverted that would work well.

Solutions:

(Mostly a week at a time)

Get both sets of grandparents down for a week so there's an adult in the house
PGL
Local sports camps, arts camps, etc, find out which ones their friends are going to
Swop dats with other working parents so you each have two 12 year olds and then none

Honestly it's more of an issue in the summer as half term and Xmas/easter are sufficiently short that giving them some time to recharge is fine.

No grandparents (partly why I've worked pt up to now)

And if I needed to be at work 8.30-4.30 I wouldn't be able to get them to a holiday club.

I was thinking they could mooch around the house together a bit but not sure if that's better for an odd day rather than lots of days.

I don't know the holiday leave yet but maybe I'd take it in lots of half weeks so they are only left half week at a time.

Or I hold out for a more wfh job. It does seem that post covid everyone has a wfh parent!

Maybe share what county you are in OP so people can give more targeted suggestions?

Can your work not offer any flex with start times? How about husbands job? Is there no way your child could get themselves to the club if nearby?

I mean you will have to find some flex if you want a solution.

I would say staying at home together better for odd days ideally. Not all summer anyway.

DH and I take almost all our leaves in the summer. DC has only a day or two each week without one of us on leave. DC2 also goes to sports camp but they are useless as childcare as they are 10-3. We WFH and have to block our calendars to pick up and drop off.

What is your job ? Employers have a legal duty to consider flexible working requests . Most reasonable employers will understand the need for some flex in the summer hols.
Either you or your husband need to explore that to do holiday club drop offs / pick ups . You could arrange ‘swap days’ with friends and have each others children , you could pay a babysitter to hang out with him , you could take some annual
leave or parental leave , use family or friends , ask to work from home or condense hours - all usual options open to a working parent .
there aren’t any magic / clever answers , it is what it is .

Whe I wa 15/16 , my unt paid me to take my cousins to thir holiday club on the bus. Us that a possibility for yours?

They're at secondary that takes over a wide area so we don't really know other parents although 15 year old can get herself to friends on the bus happily.

We don't have the right sort of family so that's out.

Being year 8 in Sept any form of club would likely be a drive away too as most is for primary.

Husband has a degree of flexibility but even having said that the clubs around here I'm mainly aware of are for primary kids as we used to use the odd day when she was about 6.

It could be that we both take "half weeks" and we just take different holiday til each other til they're both old enough to bomb around during the day.

Or maybe I can't go for the job and need one with more ability to wfh. I think they do do wfh for potentially a day a week.

My husband has some flexibility in the summer but absolutely none in the half terms just due to the nature of his work year.

Maybe people just have more wfh /family options in general than we do and I can't go for the job 😳.

I have an interview in a couple of weeks so can't go in asking mainly about how much I could get away with asking for wfh (and ultimately it's a people facing job tbh).

I'm actually wondering if it can be done now or if we just alternate put holiday it could but then we wouldn't be off as a family and we'd like to go away next summer.

I'm in England.

What age do people start to leave kids?

Or maybe I need to see if they'd consider part time. But it's full time I've applied for.

For years me and DH used the majority of our annual leave as half days so we'd go to work in the morning and then one of us would be finished by 12pm and be at home in the afternoons so the oldest would be in charge until we got back then could go off and do his own thing.

Ah now that could be an answer!

I'm guessing interview isn't the best time to find out about how leave works and people take leave? If I got the job would I ask then?

Its an outside chance I'd get it tbh but it is a fantastic job and right up my street and I've spent a huge chunk of life doing "work around the kids" this would have been perfect if I wasn't worried about them.

But then I'm also worried about getting in at 5 each day and the effect on my youngest but less worried than about the holidays.

We could really do with the money. But maybe it won't work practically.

Eldest has gcse year too so don't want her to feel I've suddenly deserted her 😳.

They don't really emerge til lunch.

I wonder how work would feel about lots of half day holidays

If you get the job at this point, can you put off starting it until September? Then your kid is one year older next summer

We took as much leave as we could (20 days a year each to cover thirteen weeks holiday). Mostly they had to amuse themselves during the day.

Our local leisure centre runs a camp where 11-13 have to be signed in (this is the problem with suggestions the 12 year old gets themselves there - most have a sign in) but can sign themselves out. 9-3.30 so might be do able if one of you could negotiate a later start.

it is walkable, which helps, but it also has a cafe so if DS2 wanted to stay on site for an hour and get picked up , that would be possible

I would do as pp suggested and take half days. Or alternate split weeks with your dh. A few days here and there is fine for them to home alone imo but if you push it too much they will get bored and probably begin bickering.

I think with smaller dc it's nice to have time off to do things with them but at the age of your kids do they even want to hang out with you or is it more so you can be on hand for lifts etc? If so, is working from home one or two days a week an option?

But also - if you have been waiting for this opportunity forever, is it your turn to take career precedence for a while and your DH to negotiate WFH or unpaid leave?

If you’re only just interviewing now, can’t you just say that your earliest start date will be 1st September because you have to give notice? That sorts this year.

By next year they’ll be 13 and 16 and therefore it’ll feel easier, and you could throw some money at the problem and book the13 year old into a residential holiday thing for a couple of weeks- something like pgl.

Realistically, even if you then have one year which is a bit tricky if the 13 year old doesn’t like being left, by the following year they’ll definitely be able to do their own thing.

Mostly my12 year old goes out to play/hang out with her pals. My 16 year old will move between the PS, PC and TV

They are also both doing a few things with scouts and are visiting and having visits with cousins.

If your not interviewing till Tuesday then you have to wait to hear if you have got it, they presumably will want to take up references etc, then you have a notice period to work (4 weeks?)- surely that's the first few weeks of the holiday this year anyway? Next summer they may well be perfectly fine at home like your older child.

Are there clubs the 12 year old can get to independently?

Presumably they get to school on their own so this shouldn't be too difficult

If you take some annual leave separately, you should be able to keep it to not too many days on their own.

Also both of you can apply for unpaid parental leave if you don't get enough leave

What age do people start to leave kids?

When they are at high school.

Holiday clubs only cater for primary school age.

The only thing I've been able to book are a couple of individual days with an outdoor education centre (kayaking etc)

Ah yes didn't twig it would take ages for the process so it would be next summer really that they would have an extended time and she'd be 13 then.

First holiday would be half term and nature of husbands work is that he can't take half term off (but he's more likely available in the summer) but that's only 5 days. I don't know if I could if I've just started.

Also both kids are used to lifts to visit friends and I guess me just "being there". So it isn't something they've grown up with. This year I've left them an inset day when I've worked but it's only been a couple of times.

I'm googling and can't really see any clubs 13+ . There's one a good drive away that runs 10-4 and is a specific hobby which she doesn't do!

I'm so used to being around for them and driving them places I think it will be a huge shock to no longer "be there". But the job looks amazing.

Would people leave a 13 and 15 year old home all half term? During the summer for the odd week? Or maybe when she's 14.

Maybe we'd need to investigate unpaid leave it it meant I got the job and it would be easier in a year or two.

But also would I be ruining their later teen years. Other people on here talk about teens needing you more and it just seems so unusual not to have a parent wfh these days. But I don't think I could easily move into wfh role unless basic admin/lower paid role in which I might as well keep my term time job!

I think it isn’t the “leaving the year 8” that is worrying OP, it is leaving them every day for weeks on end when OP or her DH aren’t WFH to keep half an eye out.

@DinnaeFashYersel that's a bit why I was surprised at the people suggesting clubs when she's already at high school and wi be second year high school by next summer!

Do you leave yours in the summer?