If you longed for a daughter…

[SAF7629]

…but did not have one, did that feeling ever go away?

I have 2 young boys. I love them endlessly and wouldn’t change them for the world now that they are here, but I’ve always hoped that I would have a daughter.
I’ll admit that I felt some “disappointment” when I found, at scans, that both were boys but got over this fairly quickly at the time and was delighted when they were born healthy.
What hasn’t left me though, is the desire to have a daughter (in addition to my sons).

There are lots of reasons why trying for a 3rd isn’t really an option and, as awful as it sounds, I just couldn’t risk a 3rd boy. I really hate myself for thinking like that.

I’ve spent a long time trying to reason with myself and work out exactly why I want a daughter. I suppose doing “girly” things and having a good mother-daughter relationship come into it, but I know these are definitely not guaranteed and I feel it runs deeper than that.

Has anyone else felt like this or am I just an awful person? I have a close friend who is struggling with infertility, so I know how unreasonable I am and would never dream of discussing this with her.

I had 3 boys and sobbed bitterly over the midwife on DS2 and cried ,"But I already have one".
I sobbed again when my sister had her daughter.
Luckily I have 2 amazing DILs and have worked hard to build a relationship with them so got to go wedding dress shopping etc.

I have two sons. I love them very much and they are utterly delightful. They both have long-term girlfriends.

I spent about 10 years fantasising about getting pregnant and not realising till I was 6 months gone - tbf that was partly just wanting Another Baby, but the result in my daydream was always female. After a while I suddenly realised that actually the longing for Another Baby had stopped, then I had another 5 years of the "doing it over again" fantasy including a third child who was a girl.

I think I'm over it now. I mean, obviously it would have been nice, but in more of a hypothetical sense than 15 years ago.

I'm 55 next week, the day after S2's graduation.

(Still remember being Utterly Flabbergasted by my sister, when the kids were being annoying, turning to me with a rueful smile "I'm so glad I didn't have boys!" - 5 of us there at the park, 4 with children, 3 of them have daughters... I think she still doesn't know what she did)

I only wanted boys.

My two boys are 21 and 19. What time has taught me is that for us, two of the same has been absolutely the best outcome.

My mother and sister were not nice and were not close. I was thrilled and always will be to have a boy. One and done and never a minutes sadness over no girl.