Been called to court, I can't go, what can I do?

[Nameynameynameynamechange]

Scotland, if it makes a difference.

I've been called as a witness. Sent back the paperwork saying I'll be unable to attend, they have refused.

I have a daughter with complex medical needs, she attends school very part time (an hour per day) but that's the only time she's ever away from me. The court date is in the summer holidays too so I can't even pop in while dd is at school.

There is absolutely nobody else that can be with her (she has seizures), I can't take her with me because they can be stress induced and I don't know if she would be allowed to anyway.

My understanding is that if I don't attend they will just come on the day and arrest me and make me attend.

I'm so bloody stressed.

If I withdraw my statement would it mean I don't have to go?

I don't know what do do.

Thank you, I'm going to see what they say when I call them on Monday, and if not I'll get onto my MSP and see what he says. I have less than a month to try and sort things out, but I'm fairly confident now that they won't simply come and arrest me, I'll make sure I have copies of everything just in case.

I suppose this has prompted me to start the fight to get some help again though, just in case something does happen to me. I've got comfortable really, and I suppose this is one of the better ways to find out I do actually need support sometimes.

I appreciate all the help, I am feeling a lot calmer. Let's just hope that the victim in this case gets some justice.

This happened to me only its me thats ill, they kept on and on. In the end they arranged a video link but the days kept being changed and so after a year and all the stress, family members got involved because I couldnt deal with it and I really was far too ill to do it. I honestly wouldn't get involved again after the way I was treated, they text and phoned me constantly and made me feel guilty for a long time.

It you have already made a statement then, in England anyway, that sounds like it might be perjury. You are obv. lying.
If you are a witness you have to show up.

@Nameynameynameynamechange

I don’t have any words of advice, but just wanted to give my very best wishes to you. It sounds like you and your DD have been through a lot and yet you still sound so positive. I really hope you manage to get something in place to help with the court situation. You sound like you love your DD so much and have sacrificed a lot to look after her and support her. You sound amazing, keep doing what you’re doing ☺️
Fingers crossed this situation might be the catalyst to help you get some external support in place for the times when you need it.

If you're a witness with evidence and you're called up to testify, you're essentially being subpoenaed and the courts can't work around you. Your evidence will be the difference between sending a violent offender down for years or them walking free. It's tough, but it what it is.

If, by some miracle, I do manage to get a care plan in place for dd, then it's going to be bloody awful if they keep putting it off again and again. I take it that's a fairly regular thing that happens. It's going to take the moon on a stick to get everything aligned on one occasion, let alone multiple occasions.

The courts are going to have to work around me to some degree, I want to give evidence, I want to help the victim, and at least let her know she is heard and believed, I'm willing to compromise as much as humanly possible, but they absolutely can't expect me to leave dd alone, or with someone who isn't up to speed on her care. They can't expect me to compromise the safety of my dd for the sake of giving evidence that I am willing to do by video link, or go over with solicitors, or even have dd in court with me somehow.

It's not a case of just being tough luck, it's a case of my dds health being at risk, there are multiple solutions here, they are going to have to accept one of them, because the chances of adequate childcare coming together in the next 4 weeks are tiny.

@Nameynameynameynamechange

It's a very difficult situation.

Would it be possible for you to book a nurse for the day from an agency such as this one who could spend the day with you and your daughter?

Is there a hotel near the court which would allow you to pay for a room during the hours when you are in court?

I'm wondering whether you could travel there with the nurse and your daughter in the morning. You could make yourself comfortable and then the nurse could look after her while you walk over to the court to give evidence.

https://nursingguild.com/clients/

No she couldn’t give evidence from home via a link, this could only be done at a local court. You really need to attend the court, if you don’t you can be arrested and brought to court, probably not on the day, which will mean you’ve wasted court time etc. tbh you are being selfish taking about withdrawing your statement, are you aware how the judicial system works? If you are a vital witness and you don’t turn up, the case will be dropped and the culprit will get away with it.

Selfish?

Wanting my daughter cared for so she doesn't get seriously hurt or die during a seizure is selfish?

I'm trying my damned best here. You have no idea what my life is like, how bloody dare you call me selfish.

I understand you have problems with your daughter, why are you not getting help from SS disability team? I work in a court and I’m so sick of seeing offenders getting away with crimes because people can’t or won’t give evidence. For your own mental health you need to get some help, you cannot spend 23 hours a day with no respite with a sick child, it’s not healthy for either of you.

There is no help. Do you think this is what I want for me and dd? You can tell me it's not healthy all you like, but that isn't going to magic up a qualified human being or two is it?

It's not a nail appointment I can't miss, it's my daughters health, it's her life.

You being sick of people getting away with crimes does not give you the right to call me, a single mum coping completely alone with a disabled child, selfish.

I'm on here asking for advice and solutions so I can give evidence, so clearly I want to do it, but my daughter will always be my number one priority, if me wanting her safe and alive pisses you off, then so be it.

I would ask the teacher that had her for one hour a day, if she could help out in the summer holidays.

You have to go, withdrawing your statement won't change anything.
You will be in contempt of Court if you don't attend-you will be arrested and potentially sent to jail-so your problems will just be worse.
You have to find suitable childcare- there are no other options.
They will not do a video link unless absolutely necessary, surely you knew when you made your statement you would have to go to court?

Please go to court, this lady’s life could depend on it. Try the school staff/nurses anyone suitable, especially if the money is there to be reimbursed. You also do need a plan b for if you fall unwell or worse. You must be utterly, unimaginably exhausted.

Could you agree to attending school full time with your daughter in August to act as her 1:1 whilst they recruit? Your daughter is entitled to an education, friends and a fuller life than it sounds like she (both of you) have now. I can easily see how you have been worn down by the situation over the years, but perhaps this could be the catalyst for change?

@Nameynameynameynamechange

OP

Did my suggestion about someone looking after your daughter while you give evidence sound feasible to you?

I hope so, because I don't think that not going to court is an option you will have.

I have a few people to call on Monday, I need to call the council who provide the funding to see if I can use it for a nurse. If I can then I'll be calling around to see if there's anyone available for dd.

I'll be calling SS to see if there's anything they can do.

I'll be calling the PF to explain my situation and see what they can do. Dd is 14 so it looks like she wouldn't be allowed to be there, but they could possibly make an exception with her medical needs.

The ideal solution (aside from video from my house which probably won't happen) is going to court with dd and doing a video link from a room there so I can give evidence and still look after dd.

I have a few things to try before that though so fingers crossed.

I have some recent experience of the Sheriff Court in Edinburgh and there were witnesses allowed to give evidence via video link. One of them was a university student who was giving evidence during their exam period but they were only an hour away so technically could have made it but due to the unpredictability of the court timings, they were allowed to give evidence remotely.

It may be calling the court and speaking to someone is your best bet as they can see if there's something they can put in place. I have no idea what their criteria are for joining via video link but it definitely is possible.

Unfortunately the school won't allow me there with her.

I've offered to get all the checks done out of my own pocket, but I'm not allowed.

None of this is ideal, but she is leaps and bounds ahead of where she needs to be education wise, socialising isn't something she enjoys, but she does attend a book club as well with some other teens who struggle so she gets interaction there and at school.

She has lots of hobbies from gaming, to reading and art and she's learning her third language atm so her life is full of things she loves doing. Being social just isn't one of them.

Anything she wants to do I'm there to support her and help her, I'll always find a way, and if she was interested in friends at all then I would find a way with that too.

I think I've just been waiting for so long, pinning my hopes on the right meds, waiting for 16 for a seizure dog and college that I've just let the now slip a bit, which I'm going to try and make some changes in. It's amazing how you just slip into a routine without noticing I guess.

I assumed I would be able to do it via video link.

You can tell me I have to find suitable childcare a million times, but if there's none then there's none. How many people can conjour up a trained and qualified specialist medical professional out of nowhere with very little notice?

I have lots of evidence here about dds needs and why I won't be able to attend without her being looked after, and will keep evidence that I've offered slutions and tried to get care in place for her so they would be very unlikely to arrest me, or send me to jail. I'm hoping that they take me up on one of the solutions I've offered anyway.

@Lyraloo how dare you call the OP selfish!!! Do you have even the slightest idea of what the OP is dealing with?
It's not selfish to be looking after your seriously unwell child. A child with life threatening seizures.
Have you ever been responsible for looking after a child with life threatening seizures?

I'm sorry for the victim. I really am. But sometimes it simply isn't possible for witnesses to be in court. The court need to be flexible enough to deal with these situations. Not just blanket computer says no policies. When in reality it is absolutely possible for video links to be set up from anywhere if there is the will to do so.

You sound like a lovely mum and I wish you well with this situation and for the future.

@Nameynameynameynamechange

I've just read through everything you've said, OP, so as to be sure that I haven't missed anything.

I was wondering whether this is something your daughter already receives, as it could make such a difference when it come to paid-for support. I know that you mentioned something she receives, I wasn't sure whether it was this.

https://www.mygov.scot/child-disability-payment

If she were receiving this, could it be used to pay for a day's nursing care when required, such as the situation you have outlined?

I'm worried that the amount the courts will allow for care for her on the day will be extremely low; I've looked at what I think is the relevant page and the sums are astonishingly small, something like £2.50/£5 per hour.

https://www.copfs.gov.uk/services/claim-expenses-for-attending-court/#what-can-i-claim-for

If you were able to add to what the court service offers just to make the day possible, that would be a great weight off your shoulders, I think. It might be worth checking out the cost of the nurse for the day, so that you know whether the cost is actually manageable.

Re your daughter's care and support generally speaking, I was wondering which of the charities might be best re advice on education etc. As she has seizures, would Epilepsy Scotland be a useful resource for you? I wasn't sure which organisation would be most appropriate for you.

https://www.epilepsyscotland.org.uk/support-for-you/our-helpline/

Is there a prosecutor and/or someone representing the victim? I would contact them in addition to the court. They will want you to give your testimony and will have incentive to help facilitate it.

There is definitely no way a video link into court can be set up from just anywhere! You don’t know what you are talking about so are just spouting incorrect information that gives the op false expectation.

The court process is extremely rigid, and rightly so. If people were just allowed to dial in from home, how does the court know who is there coaching or coercing the witness? The op was under the impression she could give some sort of statement to a lawyer and that would be ok, again not the case. She needs to be available for the defence to question her statement.

Live video links take place in a court environment with a clerk to the court in the room, no other person would be allowed in the room unless the witness was a minor or had special needs.

So to be clear, it’s not a matter of ‘if there’s a will’, your suggestion would make the whole court system unsafe and unfair, so ‘don’t you dare’ raise false expectations!

OP, I haven't read everything, but each court should have a department to support witnesses/victims. I know so, because my friend was fairly senior in one.

Please try and find out what the court you need to attend has, by way of a victim support department. And PHONE them Monday morning. They will be the best to help advise and advocate for you.