Just a little moan about school reward trips

[Deathfingers]

Just want a vent because I can't vent to the school.

Ds year 7 missed out on the reward trip because of behaviour points. Fair enough I guess, they are all for low level things e.g. not having his blazer on at the right time, pen not working and no spare, low level backchat to teachers occasionally. Parents evening they all said hes a good kid, just some minor things but nothing bad and they all said they have a soft spot for him, which was really nice to hear.

Have found out that his pal, who landed another kid in a&e after a fight and is one of 2 kids who were pretty horrid to another kid who ended up having to move class, gets to go, as does the other kid, because they haven't had as many minor behaviour points.

DS now can't understand why he can't go because he's not had a pen or been 10 secs late to a lesson occasionally whereas these 2 other kids get to go despite assaulting/bullying another.

So I just wanted to say into the ether that "DS school, I think this is really shit and undermines your behaviour system, so I'm going to keep DS home that day for his own reward day eating Haribo in his PJs and playing on his xbox 🖕"

That is all.

That is crap OP.
The behaviour points for the toilet kill me. I see a behaviour alert on my phone and go into a mild panic, what’s happened, did my child do something awful and then I see the child just needed to pee. 🙈🤣

I'd point out the idiosyncrasies of that point system and the message it is sending. I suspect kids with more behaviour points than your son will also be missing that day, and, in my experience, might even magically appear at the same location... 😒

Take a look at this thread. Your DS might not be the one swearing or being physical but definitely getting in the way of the teacher being able to teach, other students being able to learn and parents undermining the school. Forget about the other boy, life is unfair but two wrongs don’t make a right. What are you teaching him by rewarding him anyway? Let him have a boring day in school, that will certainly motivate him and make him think twice when he starts again in September.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5099002-to-think-droves-of-teachers-will-make-the-decision-by-husband-made-today-to-leave?page=36&reply=136230224

What a ridiculous response.

He is feeling the consequence. He'd much rather go on the trip.

You have no idea of the type of parent I am based off this one decision which I admit might look wrong to others. But it's absolutely the right thing in this situation.

Take him to Alton towers for the day. At least make the most of his day off. Haribo and Xbox sounds a bit crap. If he deserves a reward give him a proper one

Your response totally undermines the school's behaviour system. If your son wants to go, he should have improved his behaviour. You are rewarding him for bad behaviour, and it may be minor compared to the others you've listed, but it is more often therefore in many ways more disruptive.
You are being totally unreasonable and part of the problem. He clearly needs this consequence to change his behaviour.

Thanks for the link, I did see that thread a few days ago.

Irrelevant here and wasn't much of an eye opener sadly, the school DS goes to is the best of a bad bunch and they are focusing on the wrong issues and behaviour because they know they'll get nowhere with the real troublemakers. Is a real shame it was a fantastic school once.

All your response means is that he won't learn correct behaviour until he starts work, when he will very quickly be fired for being inappropriate. Up to you I guess.

This

back chat and low level disruption are so damaging to the education of everyone in the room.

You would be unreasonable to not raise this with school. Be the voice for your son

I'd love to turn up there, and with a fast pass like a pp said, but not sure how I'd explain his mysterious rash/awful hay-fever or whatever he gets has cleared up 😬 I might tell them the truth yet tbh, haven't decided.

Tbh that wouldnt sit right, turning up. He's going to have a better day than being in school with a supply teacher watching YouTube lessons, but not as good a day as being at Alton Towers. I'm ok with just that and he won't be in this situation again, so all Good!

34 points is huge. Have you dig into them as that is a lot of disruption. Might sound like not a lot but you are saying it’s ok to be cheeky. It won’t go down well in the workplace. Not arriving at work with the correct equipment. Being cheeky to the boss.
the low level disruption is so tiring for teachers every day and the reason many are leaving.

I’m sorry but earning 34 behaviour points is a lot. Why doesn’t he just wear the blazer and ensure that it always contains pens? And quit the backchat. Hopefully missing the trip teaches him to do as the school has asked.

The issues with the bullies/violent kids is something separate. Clearly they shouldn’t go either.

Yeah it's bullshit OP. It's the same all the time. When the little shits don't misbehave for a whole lesson they get heaps of praise and positive experiences/treats. Whereas those who always behave and have their shit together get over looked. The assholes just get an eyeroll when they call out or forget pens, kit etc but if the kids who usually have it forget they get breaktime detention or demerits. My girls (13 and 14) get so frustrated with it.

Agree 34 behaviour points is a lot. I work in a school. The vast majority of kids have either no minus points or certainly less than ten. To get 34 he has been poorly behaved. It is easier for you to pass this off as him lending pens to others or engaging in banter. He is almost certainly a nice kid etc etc but you are doing him no favours making excuses for him. Comparing him to people with hundreds of minus points is also irrelevant. OK he is not as bad as them but so what?

I would be raising this as a complaint your lad is being bullied by a teacher

This is so depressing

the kids is back chatting but is being bullied by a teacher. The amount of kids who don’t think they need to obey rules becomes understandable when you realise how many parents are willing to make endless excuses for them

You are (quite rightly), not party to all the circumstances regarding the other child.
It may have been self defence, or the boy might have special needs and can't help lashing out under extreme provocation.

I think it’s fair to have a discussion with the school, they do get things wrong sometimes.

My children’s school tried to implement a policy that when leaving school at the end of the day, they all had to either turn right or use the crossing opposite the school. Yes, I don’t get it either.

I emailed them as my children (and assume others) wanted to turn left to come home. School had made them cross over using a crossing which then meant they had to cross two further roads, one of which was a main road to get back to the side of the road they needed to be on…… Utter madness and I assume a knee jerk reaction to an earlier incident. That policy has now been changed.

This is sick and v poor practice. I would not work in a school like this. Understanding of children's needs is shit.

34 points not a lot when 29 is acceptable. Its since September and at least 3 are For things I'm fairly proud of tbh (no pen because he gives them to friends, one incident was not just walking away from a teacher when he could have done if he was a total feral future jobless waste of space, one was a teacher made him late to class because their lesson overrun and he didn't moan about it just took it on the chin)

I can see on the app its a bit inconsistent tbh, one point for X, then 2 points for the same thing a week later. Missed homework gets a point then the week after 2 ponts for forgetting to press submit? (Guessing because teacher has to manually check so prob fair, but then is that teaching him he might aswell just not do it and just get the 1 point 🤔)

I'm a bit annoyed I've not delved in to the app/reasons much before now and just gone off what the teachers have said. Might see if the system changes next year, DS2 goes and they have changed it a few times tbf.

They don't have minus points? I'm not sure what you mean. It's just points for behaviour. So points given for issues. For good behaviour parents get an email or message on the app with a nice message "great job being kind" type thing. I get a lot of those which is nice!

I genuinely am aware of the circumstances as I've said a few times. Me and DS got dragged into it, or the other 6 parents tried to drag us into it should I say.

a teacher at the gate saw him putting his blazer on as he got through the gate. The rule is they have it on before they pass the boundary, so he got a point.

These kind of rules are so bizarre.
Why is a teacher wasting time standing at the gate checking blazers? Is that what they trained for?
Do secondary schools without these ridiculous “business dress” rules exist in the state system?