And a bit of a WWYD question as well?
I’m in a dilemma and really not sure if I’m being out of the way asking for money.
But I really need £10K.
I have some health issues which have really been taking their toll on me over the last 10 years. I had a uterine ablation 2 years ago after years of heavy bleeding, this lead to iron levels so low I need infusions.
Sadly, the ablation has failed, leaving me in so much pain. Found out last December that I actually have endometriosis and adenomyosis. This was no thanks to my NHS gynae as I was the one who requested a mri because of the amount of pain I’m in, I needed to know what was going on.
Turns out the ablation has caused the endometriosis to enter the walls of the uterus causing the adenomyosis.
I have seen a NHS endo gynae and he has recommended a laparoscopy for the endo, the wait for this is over a year, could be longer. He then just advised pain killers for the ablation pain and has basically left me to it. I’ve complained to PALS as I’ve been a gynaecologist patient for 11 years and angry this hasn’t been picked up before now but I’ve just been given the standard ‘Sorry this has happened, we will learn by our mistakes blah blah!’
So I scrapped up the money to see a private endo gynae, he advised that a hysterectomy will be the only option to ‘cure’ the adenomyosis and the post ablation failure pain.
The op is £10k, I asked around other local private hospitals and they are all around £8-£10K.
The stumbling block is that I just don’t have that kind of money. I am self employed and have had to scale back my hours because of the issues I currently have and will need to take at least a month (possibly more) off work when I have a hysterectomy because my job involves heavy lifting.
The only people I know with this kind of money are my parents. I left home 26 years ago and have never once asked them for money. They have never offered and I have never asked. Dh and I have always been independent and hate borrowing money from people.
I am close to my parents and see them 5 times a week. This is because mum has Alzheimer’s and I help my dad with their day to day life as he struggles (they are both elderly).
But my dad has always been very tight and never a generous person. He has hundreds of thousands in the bank and is keeping it all invested for when mum has to go into care. I totally understand the reasoning for this and this is why I have never asked for money for my op but I’m getting fed up feeling so poorly all the time. It’s affecting my energy levels, my digestive health is shot to bits and I’m struggling with my day to day living.
If I did ask for the money I would want to offer to pay it back whenever I can.
WWYD in my position? And have you ever borrowed or been given any money from your parents?