Having a baby at possibly 35

[RachelLew91]

Hello all, i am very new to this and hoping this platform is the right one. I am a step mother to a 6 year old and love it. I want children of my own eventually but feeling more and more panicky about the time... I am now 32 years old, however looking into going back into education to be a teacher. This will delay by 2 years which means i will be 34/35 trying for a baby.
This is something that is making me very apprehensive and worried... will i be too old?

I (and many others here) had my first at 35. I'd say it's perfect.

I was that age and totally didn’t feel old at all!

Oh my goodness , this is so amazing to hear. Seriously!
Its honestly making me feel so worried, stressed and pressurised!
Thank you SO much for your reply.
Apart of me feels like "Have i wasted time?" but i suppose we can't think like that.

Probably not. Best thing you can do is go for a test to check your AMH Levels. That will tell you better than an Internet forum. I wouldn't delay it longer than 35 as fertility drops off a cliff after that.

I didn't start trying til mid 30s. Many don't. It's definitely not too late.

It's worked out okay for me, but I did have a miscarriage and definitely conceiving wasn't straightforward. You cannot know what fertility challenges you may (or may not!) have.

Would it be possible to look into what you'd need to do if you fell pregnant during your course? Could you take a break and go back? Would you be entitled to childcare cost support while studying? If it could be made to work, should you get pregnant while studying, then I'd crack on with ttc, given it seems like you know firmly what you'd want!

Had my DC at 36, I’m super exhausted but wouldn’t change it!

This is so great to hear! Thank you so much for your reply 🙏
I do the whole "When their 5 i will be 40" sort of thing! I know i shouldn't!

I'm 36 with a one year old and don't feel old at all.

That said, 35 wasn't the plan. It took us 5 years and 4 rounds of IVF to get pregnant. If it's something you really want, think carefully about putting it off as you never know what's ahead of you

That's so great 😃! Good for you <3

Mum had me at 33 and my brother at 36, after being told she couldn’t have kids. We are very close and had have always had a great relationship. Imagine I will have my second around 35.

Why do you need to delay exactly? I started trying at 30 but had miscarriages and only managed DC at 40. so even if you start trying at 35 it could be a while before actually having a child - something to think about.

Thank you so so much for you reply and sharing this with me. I really appreciate that 🙏

Hi - fertility does not “drop off a cliff” at 35, there is a gradual reduction from the natural peak at a linear rate for a while, it’s not like you wake up at 35 and your chances have halved. What is true is that complications increase as you get older, markedly from 40+. As pp said, check your egg reserves and hormones now, as that will give you a much clearer picture of what you specifically are working with

I had my youngest at 38. Was tiring being pregnant and absolutely nothing like my first when I was in my teens.

My egg reserve was very very low at 35 so had to have IVF. Had dd2 at 35 and dd3 at 38

Maybe getting your fertility checked out before putting it on hold might be a good idea OP

It is due to potential studies. It wouldn't be possibly for me to do both.
Thank you so much for sharing.

I'm 40 and had our first baby naturally 10 days ago after a completely trouble free textbook pregnancy, so I'd say that no, 35 is not 'too old'.

This is so great! Thank you so much

This is incredibly helpful, thank you so so much for your response x

I had my first at 34 and second at 36. I had tried for years to conceive with my ex husband but it didn't happen for us. We then divorced and I met my DP and we had our children. Although it's the way things worked out, if I could have had them younger I would have. I adore being a mum and sometimes I think about the time I've missed out on having them slightly older.

If you really want a child I would prioritise that over your course.. of course up to you. Good luck

If i miss/don't reply to all please know i MASSIVELY appreciate your responses <3

Had my 1st at 34yrs, 3rd at 39yrs. Plenty others in same position.

My top age to 'start trying' would be 38 (would never have wanted one past 40) so where you're at is fine @RachelLew91

CONGRATULATIONS !! Thank you so much x

I had my third child at 36. What I would say is that we had to go through some quite extensive pre-screening tests (we had to terminate a previous pregnancy due to a severe abnormality which would not have survived birth). I wish you well but do go into this being prepared to do further tests.