Having a baby at possibly 35

[RachelLew91]

Hello all, i am very new to this and hoping this platform is the right one. I am a step mother to a 6 year old and love it. I want children of my own eventually but feeling more and more panicky about the time... I am now 32 years old, however looking into going back into education to be a teacher. This will delay by 2 years which means i will be 34/35 trying for a baby.
This is something that is making me very apprehensive and worried... will i be too old?

Average age of having a baby is 31 for women and 34 for men so it's not really old anymore. Had mine at 32 & 34 because it was the right time for me career wise.

I had my first at 35 and second at 38. Or at was ridiculously easy to conceive and second was 4 months - I was worried about the second and my cycle was dodgy so I tracked- temperature and ate lots of greens and took some vitamins to extend cycle. It’s perfectly possible- but do your research there are lots of methods that work in terms of timing etc- can’t even remember what I used now but seemed to work.

I was also exercising and eating well and looking after myself very well both times. Peak fitness!!

in terms of being that age and parenting…. I would say I was in a much better position than lots of people I met: financially, husband grown up and not out drinking and we had done all the travelling and I had done all the climbing the career ladder I wanted to for a while!
I only regret leaving it later because now I would have liked a third but don’t want to be back to buggies at 42/43!

I’d do it the other way round. Have your babies, then do Teacher Training.

To train then go on MAT leave soon after may mean you don’t get QTS. Plus you won’t build up your confidence etc.

Lots of people come into teaching around 40. 25 good years then retire.

Good luck OP! Everyone is different but lots of women have babies after 35. I was two weeks off being 42 when I had my first, and everything has been fine. I think I was the oldest mum at the school gates, but there were many 40+. My neighbour has just had her second at 42, all fine...delighted for her, but I'm glad I'm not back to sleepless nights.

Previously I would have thought it was fine, my mum had me at 39! But I got my AMH levels tested at 31 and found out I have the levels of someone 10 years older and would be ineligible for IVF if I needed it.

Also if you want more than 1 baby you can have secondary infertility.

Even women with perfect fertility test results can still require IVF and the likelihood of success is far lower the older you are.

Yes “fertility does not drop off a cliff” at 35 for most women but for a not insignificant minority it does and you don’t know if that will be you until you try.

35 is a very normal age for people to have a baby. Average UK maternal age in the last figures I could find was 30.9 which is not really that much younger.

That said, perhaps you could ease off on the implication that being 40 is the pinnacle of decrepitude?

Currently pregnant at 38 weeks and just turned 34. It took us 6 months to conceive but everyone is different. I would like two children and I don’t think it’s too old or too late at all. I would consider contacting GP beforehand. They will ask about your menstrual periods, height, weight etc and advise you to take pre natals

35 is a very common age to have babies nowadays. I fell pregnant just as easily at 35 as I did at 25 (although I realise everyone is different). If you want more than one, it does limit the time to have second than having one younger, but that’s it I think on the downsides.