Going away without DC - what age?

[Haveli]

It's our 5 year wedding anniversary this year and we are considering a city break just the 2 of us. However we have DD (almost 3) who has only ever spent 1 day/night away from us both at a time so not sure if it's too soon to leave her with Grandma for a few days?

My mum is super keen, and we are looking at midweek so she will keep her nursery routine but just have evenings and nights with Grandma for 3 days.

Is 3 too young to do this? DH goes away with work all the time so he thinks it's fine but not sure if I'm just feeling mum guilt or if it's really fine! DH and I don't get to spend much time just the two of us so it would be really nice for us.

What age were your DC when you both first left them for a few days?

We went on our honeymoon for a week 18 years ago when DS was 13 months, he stayed with Granny & Grandad for a week and had a whale of a time!

We went away for 3 nights in Belgium when my DS was 1. He was a good sleeper and was used to being with my mum one day a week by then. They had a lovely time and so did we!

We went away when ds was 1, had friends who did it younger. 3 years is probably actually on the later side of average. Go and enjoy yourself he will be fine

Mine were 3 and 5, at the young end of those ages. We also went during the week to keep the routine (came back Saturday).

They were fine. The 5-year-old had a moment when we video called one night, getting upset and asking where we were. But my parents distracted him, we got off the phone and he was fine. The 3-year-old was too busy watching the Wiggles to worry about where we were 😅

I'd go for it. That trip was in 2019 and we've only just had our next weekend away without them! Seize the day while you can.

If she's done one night, she will likely be fine with more.

For a long weekend with staying with grandparents, Ds was 2 but I was back at work at 6 months. Ds was in nursery 2 days and ds stayed over 1 night a week from 6 months at grandparents

How much time does she spend with your mum generally.

We left our DD for a couple of nights at 6 months old but the in-laws were living with us at the time. DS was a little older but he was always a more clingy baby though he saw his grandparents a couple of times a week as they'd moved out by then.

They saw less of my parents so they must have been 9 & 6 before they stayed overnight there and hated every minute.

I'd actually be inclined to do weekend rather than in the week. Kids often miss their parents when at nursery so she may be disappointed when you don't pick her up and she's forgotten you're away. I'd do a couple of nights at the weekend and she can have lots of weekend fun with her grandmother.

Do it, go! Your mum is keen, your DD has already spent one night away so three nights should be fine.

Don't be like me - my younger two were, I kid you not, 19 and 16 when DH and I first left them for a few nights. I wish we'd had someone who'd have looked after them while we had a break, but we didn't. Grab your chance and go.

We went away for 10 days when our eldest was 2.

Thanks all! Looking at flights and hotels now, exciting!!

She'll be fine if she's used to doing 1 night with your mum. 3 is old enough to understand you're going away and she's going to have an exciting time with grandma, get your mum to help her count the days until you come home

Absolutely fine. We leave our kids (6&2) once or twice a year to go away for 2-3 days just us. Been doing it since my oldest was 6 months they love having nanny for a few days. She usually stays at ours to make it easier

Get gone and have some time well deserved together You'll have an amazing time, Grandma and kid will have a ball and three isn't too young. Get them used to a sleepover at Grandma's!

Hold onto your hat, gals. My oldest was 6 weeks old when we left them with the in laws for the weekend, Friday 10 am til Sunday 3 pm.

Youngest was almost 2 but then again they stayed with hubby and my dad while my mom and I went out of town for the weekend, Friday 7 pm til Sunday 4 pm.

I haven't done it yet but I certainly don't think it's too young . X

My youngest stayed for a week every Summer and occasionally at Easter too with my MiL from 7 years. She and FiL used to take a week off from work and revolve the week around DS. He had a great time. As an adult he's got a lovely close bond with my MiL because of it. He regularly drives 150 miles to visit her.

You will miss her more than she will miss you honestly. If you are happy with where she is (obviously you are!) them go for it. You will giving your daughter an extra layer of security ,truly. And of course there is facetime/ video calling.

If they’re close to gp she’ll be fine, done it loads, you’ll be a better mum for it, go have fun x

I didn’t go away without my kids, they r only young once, didn’t want them to miss out, plenty of “Me” time when they leave home.

We first went away without DD she was 18 months. We were in a somewhat unique position though.

We didn't know DP was pregnant until she went into labour. And we'd only been together 10 months at that point. We didn't even live together until DD was nearly 5 months old.

So once things calmed down a bit we desperately needed a few days to ourselves to take stock of whether we still worked as a couple. Turns out we do, which was lucky! But had we not had that impetus, we'd probably have waited a while longer.

Luckily for us we had both sets of grandparents living nearby, and both regularly did childcare for us while we were both working. So DD was completely unbothered by us buggering off for a few days. In fact by the time she was 4 she'd tell us to go away so she could have sleepovers at Granny 1s and Granny 2s

She’ll be fine. And it’s good for her to get used to this.

Think DS was about 6 months obviously they don’t know at that age and then by the time they do they are already used to having sleepovers at grandparents. Versus my brother who never left his and now can’t at 7 years old…

Remove the societal guilt and focus on your child and your family. Does it feel ok?

I have my grandchildren (age 3 1/2, 1 and 6 weeks) overnight. I’ve taken the older 2 away for a long weekend and had them both to stay for 3 days when newest baby was born- and my 3 year old was with me for a week when baby number 2 came along.

I had all 3 2 weeks ago for a night and am having them all for the weekend next weekend.

They all think our house is their house and I can’t visit and babysit without being asked when we are getting in the car! 😂

That said, my grandchildren aren’t your child and because I’ve always been involved, it’s normal for them and they (and we) love it. You can do lots of lovely preparation- a “holiday book” of things to do while there can help- as well as reassurance that it’s okay to go and have a lovely time.

I would however reassure you that children are remarkably resilient and your child will have a great time with grandparents who love them.

Enjoy your break!

Mine were 17,15,12 years old