What's the hardest thing you/your family have been through and survived?

[wwydhvr]

Interested to hear stories of resilience and perseverance and coming out the other side still standing.

My boyfriend killed himself when I was 25. My husband lost his brother when he was 24. I think both of these events made us resilient so we have coped with the death of 3 parents and a step parent as well as a lot of other upheavals without it lessening our bond.

It can make me inwardly very unsympathetic about dead dogs, cats, gerbils etc. But I am a good enough actress not to lose friends over it.

I would love to offer some magic. We both went for stiff upper lip / fake it till you make it. Neither of us are opposed to counselling etc and my trauma came out after by some time and then I got support. But suicide is a tough one to get your head round.

I hope you manage OP. Xx

This is not me but I happened to bump into a lady yesterday whose daughter disappeared some years ago and was never found. We were discussing crafting and she said she doesn’t embroider any more because of arthritis but counts herself lucky that that is the only health problem she has got after everything that has happened. It struck me afterwards that this reflects an incredibly glass half full, counting your blessings approach to life which might have something to do with why she is still going after so much anguish.

I was born with a birth defect on my face which affects my jaw, speech, hearing and sinuses as well as making me look a bit different. I've had over 20 surgeries, my mother rejected me for over 2 weeks when I was born and still can't get over it and have been so badly bullied throughout my life. This continued into adulthood by being passed over for jobs I am well qualified for and being spoken to poorly while out and about. I've been sexually harrassed where men have made awful comments about my body in relation to my face.

I am very unsympathetic to anyone who gets upset at minor ailments, or anything involving people feeling ugly or down with their lot. I get very, very angry at pretty privilege when I see it as I have had to fight or pay for everything I have.

I survive by putting my energy into my DC and giving them the tools they will need to succeed in life on their chosen path as I never got to. I also work very hard to ensure the DC are not affected by my internal hangups while educating them to be mindful about differences people have that they can't help.

Sexual abuse as a child.
Looked after father who died from cancer
Learning difficulties effects rest of life
Domestic violence from own teenager.
Dd in Domestic violence relationship ×2
Heavy involvement with social services
GS almost in care.
2 evictions.
Bipolar
So tried to kill himself
Rejection from mother .
(Completely) on my own no support at all . In real life .

Just have to get on with it because I have to do my best for my kids and grand kids .

My parents both lost their mothers very young (murder and road crash) and one free up in political awful country. I have have 2 chronic illness since I was a teenager that leave me in pain every day. Also shite mental health condition. We all endeavour to live a glass half full approach. I find it hard to be around people moaning about how hard their lives are when it's petty bollocks. Crack on and make the most it, it can all be taken in a second.
Also realised that no one else really cares about how shite you feel so there's no point moaning about it but just tryna improve your day living by eating and exercising as best you can.

Suicide of a young relative. Out of the blue.

It tore my family to pieces and his mother died with a broken heart.
We have survived.

I am an only child and had lost both parents by my late 20s (on in my teens). It then took me and dh well over a year to conceive our first DC but thankfully we now have two great young adult children.
I have a tiny extended family as well.
Like Pp i am also not overly sympathetic to dead pets - I have lost pets but I’m ok after a day or so (our cat is getting elderly and I’m more worried about my DCs’ reaction when she dies).
i am finally getting some decent therapy, I definitely have some issues from having parents who died relatively young and being young when it happened.
I do have a normal life but do get jealous of those with lovely big families.

Rejected by my parents,
SA as a child,
BPD, GAD, MDD, and OCD
PND 2x,
No family support,
No friends because the last time I was friends with someone her DS sexually abused my DS and I will never forgive myself for it or trust my own judgement with friends,
DD in abusive relationship,
DGS has SS input,
DD and DGS both still live with us,
Still having to live next door to DS abuser.

But we have each other, there's a lot of love in our house, my DH is one of the most amazing people I've ever known and we're making our own family group bit by bit and mostly we're happy. We have a lot of blessings in our life.

Bereavement.

My eldest child was murdered at the age of 5. Nothing else has ever come close to almost destroying us but we came through it.

infertility and ivf.

And I say that as someone whose IVF was successful.

Stage 4 cancer was the worst, years of treatments and then to be told we should expect me to be gone in 6 months. I survived, but my god it was hard for us all. I lost my job and my ability to have children and after a childhood of sexual abuse after my dad passed away unexpectedly when I was 13 it felt cruel but we pushed on through and now struggle with people moaning about menial problems if I am honest. I’m a pull your boots up and keep trudging mentality, more should try it

The last 3 years have been pretty relentless for us. We have been hanging in there, but starting to feel like I'm not sure how much longer we can 😔

• MIL died at 72 following vascular dementia. So poor health & not recognising family before death. Also didn't get to see her much as was mid-lockdowns
• Nephew tried to kill himself, twice
• My mum's alcoholism reached its messy peak (thankfully dry now)
• My grandad died
• My dad had a very serious accident resulting in spine & brain surgery, as well as other breaks.
• DH got made redundant 6 months ago, only just found very PT NMW job. I believe he is now depressed
• DS2 developed epileptic seizures

Menopause 😜

Suicide of my child.
Not something you ever get over, but keep going for sake of remaining, damaged child.

Abusive mother and sister
Workplace bullying
Marrying someone I didnt want to due to above
Fertility treatment
Prem birth
Living shit marriage
Long term depression and anxiety.

When I hear about people losing kids etc I feel like my life is a piece of piss. I would not ever be able to cope with some things.

@ByBrightSloth The man I married divorced me, he made some very rude comments about my appearance and speech. I'm happy on my own.

Watching a young person close to you be sexually groomed, and have Stockholm syndrome with her groomers.
To the point she has cut off a whole family as we all attempted to stop it and keep her safe. We are now powerless to these people and she believes she loves them and they love her. Totally broke my husband and I've had to support him, my children and keep going daily myself

Holy shit, what an incredibly nasty comment! This poster was tormented for years but apparently that's not enough to warrant complaining about because she also had some happiness?

You’re right it was nasty and I’m sorry, I didn’t really think about it like that I was only thinking about those who have never found anyone at all or can’t find partners or anyone to have children with,

• Abusive and neglectful parents
• Birth defects that were not corrected due to neglect left me with lifelong issues with my jaw joints and teeth and with almost no sight in one eye
• Bullying at school, including inappropriate touching
• Moving to a new country with a different language where I knew no one on my own to escape the above toxic relatives
• Not having any contact with any of my relatives
• sexual assault
• Car accident
• Depression and long term mental health issues, including suicidal ideation and three major breakdowns
• being a victim of identity fraud.

So a fair amount of stuff to overcome!

I am grateful that I have resilience, that I am still here and that I am able to enjoy life.

But still the worst that ever happened to you is still the worst thing that ever happened to you so please don't belittle your own feelings

I was trafficked into prostitution when I was younger by a much older man I had thought was my boyfriend.
I was sold to thousands of men for years.
I got away when he tried to kill me because I was too old, and beat me in the head with an iron bar.

Police didn't care.

I ended up homeless and an addict before I got myself clean and sober after a long long struggle.

Didn't have any help or support from family.

But I lived and now life is very beautiful.

Fuck me, that's nasty.