What's the hardest thing you/your family have been through and survived?

[wwydhvr]

Interested to hear stories of resilience and perseverance and coming out the other side still standing.

My dad killed someone. We had to run away and hide. We all developed some sort of PTSD after that event. My dad went into hiding and 20+ years later he was found. He's now in jail and I have no clue if he's alive.

And I have no idea what has happened to the formatting of that post!

What makes you curious about it @wwydhvr ?

I’m intrigued in what makes the suffering of others so interesting to you?

My child being diagnosed with cancer. Been through lots of other very difficult things in my life but nothing comes close to that.

We are 5 years on now and she is doing well but it has left her with a visual impairment and several lifelong medical conditions which she takes medication for and is learning to manage well herself.

She is 16 and just doing her GCSEs and getting ready for starting college. I am unbelievably proud of how she has handled it all but emotionally still not fully over it.

Sending love to you as a mum who has been through the child cancer journey x

Lost my mum at 15 who was a single mother, older sister had to become my legal guardian to avoid going into care.
Then lost my sister when I was 26 after years of watching her battle illness, she died at home with me performing CPR on her.
Dealing with my son's autism and seizures.
Living with poor mental and physical health.

Infertility and IVF

and finding out afterwards my husband was having an affair throughout

Hallelujah. Agree.

Everyone has their own battles and just because someone has suffered 'worse'/more, doesn't mean the impact on them hasn't been awful.

Parents alcoholics alongside horrific domestic violence which was witnessed as a child. Family House repossessed. Then went on to have a violent relationship for a long time. Money worries, six lost pregnancies, two episodes of homelessness, a major health issue that left life time disabilities, a further violent relationship that resulted in courts and me being diagnosed with ptsd and anxiety. I severed many family relationships as it turned out they weren't trustworthy. I moved away and started a new life which has been peaceful although I still feel the effects of my experiences.

It's not what happened it's the effect it had (because people are individuals & react as such to life's challenges).

I'm going through a very difficult time at the moment. Not sure I'm quite ready to speak/post about it. Still feel frozen. Was hoping to gain some strength by hearing from the incredibly resilient people here. Thank you all for sharing and I'm so sorry to hear about the absolutely heartbreaking things life has thrown at you. I'm in awe at you having made it through.

Losing FIL, DF and DM all to cancer within 7months of each other as covid was kicking off and having to work in covid ITU, dealing with dying patients devastated families the day after DM’s covid restricted funeral. Also, arguing with DS’ school to get him out early so that he could kiss DM as she was put in an ambulance as I knew he wouldn’t be able to visit her in the hospice because of Covid and would never see her alive again. Will never get over this.

House fire (big one but no one hurt)
Mum's terminal illness and death

I did in a space of a few days discover mums cancer was terminal, my dd was diagnosed with asd and my oldest friends dad died suddenly

I don’t for a second think I’ve had it as bad as others, but here’s mine;

I had a gorgeous childhood. Lovely parents.
Then at 17 my mum felt ill, got taken to hospital, was left in a bed over Easter as no consultants around, then had emergency surgery for a cancerous perforated bowel, and died.

Dad went to pieces, and met someone else 3 days later, and she was such a cow that I left home at 18.

Had 5 years of infertility trying to have DC which nearly broke me, only to be told in my second pregnancy that my baby had no corpus callosan and wouldn’t survive. I had an awful pregnancy, giving birth weighing less than I started, and deciding to keep baby. My DS came out perfect with no issues. I am so grateful.

So, lots of shitty things, but also lots of good stuff. I’m pretty resilient now.

I’m sorry you are having a hard time op

Not my family but very close friend.

Well-off family (parents and two primary aged kids) lost EVERYTHING due to being made refugees overnight. Their passports became almost toxic overnight. Had to go via a number of countries to get asylum. Parents invested heavily (energy and as much financial
support as possible so kids didn't need to work at uni) on children's education. Both kids now happily married, one with own children. One kid is a corporate lawyer, the other a dentist in a place that actually pays their dentists very well.

They had lots of trauma. What got them through was that the dad had a professional qualification that enabled him to work at an international level when they eventually got asylum, so didn't get stuck in a poverty trap that tends to compound trauma. Getting his status back was in itself a survival mechanism. They didn't have therapy as it wasn't culturally a thing, and wasn't much at that time anyway, Focussing on where they were going and not focussing on the past (although it was talked about by my friend as that's how I know all the details).

Waking up at 20 to find my mother had committed suicide and finding her body. Then being virtually alone in the world as my birth father had vanished when I was 2. However I have rebuilt my life and it is a bloody good life and I know that having survived that I can survive anything. I am left having trouble letting people get close to me though (bar dh and the children) and never tell anyone what I have been through.

Severe emotional and physical violence, neglect and sexual abuse from my mother and stepfather for 16 years prior to them throwing me out.
I was a basket case throughout my 20's but once I'd been diagnosed with CPTSD I went on to manage and live a happy life with my DS, became a professional and bought us a house.
I am NC with family now as they want to rewrite history and pretend nothing happened for the sake of looking like a decent family in front of people but I'm not having that.
I can't have a relationship though and so I am single and always will be. Being touched by men triggers my PTSD.

House repossession in the 90s. Have never been able to buy again.
Death of father from MND.
Mother diagnosed as schizophrenic when I was 18 and has had several inpatient stays and relapses ever since.
My own cancer 4 years ago.

All these things have made me tough and I've got no time for people who I see as having trivial problems. Maybe I'm just unsympathetic though.

My eldest son was born prematurely in 1994 we lost him two hours later.
My second son was born in 1996. He started fitting at two weeks old and we nearly lost him.. He was subsequently diagnosed with a profound hearing loss, autism adhd and dyspraxia.
Two days before my sons fifth birthday he found his Dad dead in bed which has had long term implications...
I finally thought I had my happy ending when I got together with an old friend in 2015. Six weeks later he was diagnosed with cancer... He gave me the option to walk away which of course I refused to do. We lost him in 2018...
I have been through some absolutely shit times but I'm still here. I have ds2 and through my partners children three wonderful honarary grandchildren...

Life it's self.

been in. Domestic abuse relationship with my girls dad for 13 years.

then met, married and lost my wonderful dh in 3 years (married dh in hospital) all in covid times.

lost my aunt and my mum last year

problems with my heart

and then recently my dds and me (as the perpetrator targeted me as well )have been victims of grooming and that’s an ongoing case.to be honest I think I’ve had it lightly so far compared to what some of you have been through 💐

My DH had a brain tumour growing around his optic nerves and pressing on his pituitary gland. Eventually he had to have surgery after it nearly blinded him and affected all his hormones. They operated up through his nose like the Egyptians used to do. He couldn't drive for over 2 years. He changed personality too. After surgery he gradually returned to his old self but it took over 2 years. He's still on various hormone therapy. He produces no adrenaline or Thyroxine and only low testosterone so he has to have replacements.

❤️

My mum died when I was 21 and my dad died when I was 26. Losing my mum was the worst pain I've ever felt so far.

What got me through was knowing that other people have suffered so much more pain, and get by, much like some of the stories on this thread. That coupled with the fact I knew my parents would want me to live a beautiful life.

I'm sorry for every person that has commented on this thread, and it shows that we are resilient and strong.

A crap childhood where I felt completely insignificant and invisible,brought up by an alcoholic mom,my dad never bothered with us.
Lots of unhealthy relationships (some DV)I realise now that all I ever wanted was to feel loved by someone or to feel special to someone.
Being burgled by a 'friend'
My son being diagnosed with bowel cancer at age 18 and due to late diagnosis after countless visits to the doctor before they found out exactly what was wrong,the cancer had chance to spread and he passed away 1 week after his 22nd birthday.This was after years of chemo and operations and having to watch helplessly while he went through his treatment.
Still dealing with my mom who still has alcohol problems and now dementia.