What's the hardest thing you/your family have been through and survived?

[wwydhvr]

Interested to hear stories of resilience and perseverance and coming out the other side still standing.

you should be very proud of your resilience - I am proud of you, and I don’t know you!

You are incredible to have survived this.

i can think of a murder where this was happening under the eye of the world’s media and gawpers. If it was this particular time, my admiration for your resilience has just increased tenfold.

We had a rubbish couple of years in the early 90s:

• My dad's business that he'd had all my life folded and then he was unemployed for quite a while
• His sister died aged only 39 if breast cancer
• Two years later his mother died, also of breast cancer
• I had just changed schools and was having a miserable time and had my bat mitzvah when we had no money and I had no friends ( but my mum says it was her favourite one out of the 3 kids' BMs)

For a while my parents were looking at downsizing and us moving house - it was only later I realised my grandparents had sold their flat and downsized to prevent that.

My 8 year old son going into septic shock and having a cardiac arrest. Being told that he wouldn't survive and if he did, he'd have a brain injury and wouldn't be the same little boy he was before. Being told by a specialist surgeon that he was the sickest little boy in the country.

2 weeks later. Feeling relieved that he beat the odds and survived only to find out that the cause of his sepsis was a cancerous tumour in his bowels and now my little boy had to fight a new battle.

He's still in hospital 3 months later. Life may never be the same as it was before sepsis and cancer attacked his little body but he is here and I am so, so grateful.

It's not a competition but yet this thread feels that way.

Every family usually goes through heartaches...everything from miscarriages to cancer to suicide. It's all soul-destroying stuff and some are able to make it through with therapy and a stiff upper lip while others are stuck in an alcohol-fuelled haze, desperately needing therapy but can't afford it.

What you feel is what you feel. It's not a competition to see who's endured the most tragedy.

I feel blessed that this week my DS gets married and I am here to celebrate.
Life day to day can be very difficult. I have a life limiting condition, alreading having survived several long stays in ICU and life support.
The premature loss of both my parents hardly seemed to register after experiencing the sudden death of my brother as a teenager.

Some days have more light than others but life still has quality.

@ByBrightSloth I have reported your nasty comment. Shame on you.
I hope the comment did not upset you @Treesaleaving

@ApolloandDaphne Im so sorry 💐

Too much shit

mum getting cancer twice
me having chemotherapy
getting diagnosed with an incurable disease
constant blood transfusions
dad having an aneurysm
brother getting diagnosed with Asperger’s
navigating trying to work full time while being chronically ill

Attempted abduction of baby less than an hour old, attempt on my life a few weeks later, death threats, blackmail, horrendous court case, restraining orders, moved areas, child born with significant disabilities.

Until fairly recently I thought the term to come through it and be standing the other side was accurate. I no longer do.

I've recently been doing some business mindset training and this has sent me into a cycle of inner reflection.

I'm a resilient person but I don't think there is another side of an issue, we don't come out of it, we find a way onwards - through necessity, support and borrowed strength (for those lucky enough) and with time. I think that with major incidents the universe around us actually shifts and we work on finding a new path on a new trajectory.

I hate what doesn't break us makes us stronger, I've a few things I'd rather have never experienced.

I define me. I control my destiny, other things have an influence but I'm the major decision maker - no one gets to take that away and sometimes I need to remind myself to keep on keeping on.

I don't see it like that, it's not a competition but a reminder of how strong people can be. Some of the things on here people lived through are unimaginable even compared to my own pain but those people are still living, still fighting and that makes it feel easier to be strong, not a competition but a show of strength.

Which completely discounts everything that happened before and besides her partner and presumes that the relationship was / is happy, healthy and supportive. None of which is written

My gosh this thread made me cry. 😢

My mum died when I was 12 and raised by my dad who was a drinker and emotionally and financially abusive.

After that, everything is gravy. My life is not perfect (I have had cancer but hopefully my operation has removed it for good!) and whilst comfortable would like more cash in the bank.

However, I am resilient and can face whatever comes my way.

I have sympathy for people when bad things happen to them, less so when people create drama and mess repeatedly.

Death of my child. It’s not resilience, perseverance, or coming out the other side though. It’s just not committing suicide and keeping on doing the daily routine you have to do. That’s all it is. There is nothing to be proud of or to work towards regarding it. People aren’t stronger for getting through shit that comes their way.

My mum died suddenly in a car accident when I was 18. It was just the 2 of us at home so I missed her desperately. I can't help but put some of the blame on my stepdad who made her very unhappy and he went after her money in life and death. No great surprise. My dad and brother helped me through the awful time. It has made me a much stronger person as a result and I treasure every moment with my children and, not wanting to sound arrogant, but if they lost me when they were young I don't know how they would get through it as we are closer than my mum and I were

In the space of 5 years, split from partner when baby was 6 months, had a chronic life long, serious health condition diagnosed, had my daughter diagnosed with additional needs and all the behavioural problems that go along with that, then the covid pandemic. Add to that I have suffered with obesity and anxiety all my life, with suspected adhd.

Its taken time to recoup after each, but I'm plodding along with as much positivity as I can

Jesus that’s terrible, I’m so sorry. I was going to whinge about growing up in poverty with very little food and icicles indoors in winter, but it hardly compares.

Christ I applaud you. Cant even imagine, so sorry.

My eldest was raped when she was 15. What followed was a lengthy trial (he was convicted, thankfully), years of her abusing alcohol and drugs and acting out sexually and violently. It had a massive impact on all of us. She is thankfully in a much better place these days (and as a result so are we all), she is getting married later this year and has given us a gorgeous granddaughter.

I was going to complain about a legal dispute I’m currently having but I’m not going to. This thread is a giant dose of perspective for me.

I agree with this. I had a horrible childhood ("raised" by an abusive alcoholic single mum who nearly killed me, badly bullied all through school and beyond). I don't know anyone in real life, apart from my very damaged sister, who's been through a childhood like mine. Everyone seems to have had normal happy families or at least one loving parent. This thread makes me feel less alone. And that others have been through far worse than I did and survived it. It's very helpful to know I'm not the only one who didn't have a good start in life

Having our home repossessed - not yet back on the housing ladder, but have been lucky with nice rentals and are now in a much better financial situation. We are hoping to buy again in a few years.

DS’s attempted suicide - he had to hit rock bottom before anyone would offer us any support. He’s in a much better place now thankfully.

DD had significant surgery on her spine. She was in surgery for over 8 hours and because it was Covid time I was alone in hospital waiting for it to be over. She then spent a couple of nights in ICU to recover.

Seeing my ds being taken away for abusing a sibling. Trying to hold everyone together.. On reflection apparently we should have had family therapy.. We had nothing.. Some weird service offered me the chance to claim compensation for what dc and I had gone through.. As if a monetary bonus would take that away? Bloody weird.. Still living half a life over a decade later.. Dc has no memory. Never asks why sibling isn't around. Boxed up and put away by us all.
Would like to remind posters who have sent support over the years I am very grateful for those messages...

My partner when I was in my early 20's killed himself. I was a very junior doctor and was on duty the night he was brought in. I'll,spare you the details, but he was just about still,alive but in a condition where he would never survive, so I had to watch him die.

I was diagnosed with cancer a few months after that but nothing, nothing ever will remove the images from my kind of seeing the man I loved die before my eyes and knowing that it was his choice. I will never recover from his death and even now have painful what if moments, even though I'm happy with life now.

Having lost pets that have meant the world to me, I can still feel empathy for those people going through a pet bereavement though. I also know that when my current dog dies I will feel it more than I did when my evil bitch of a mother died.

DS2 had an undiagnosed heart condition and went into heart failure at home at 10 days old.
Despite living in our country's capital, the heart surgery centre is 50 miles away and it was touch and go whether he'd make it. He did and is now 13. He was diagnosed with ASD a few years ago but manages really well.

DS1 has a complex genetic condition requiring lots of meds and input from many medical specialists. He also has ADHD. He's amazing though and copes so well with his pain. He's recently been diagnosed with^ depression but is now on meds.

My DSIS had EUPD and made the choice to end her life just over 5 years ago. I miss her so much.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer 10 years ago when DD was a baby. They discovered I have the BRCA gene so as well as losing my breasts, I had my ovaries removed which meant I went through menopause in my 30's.

However, DH and I are strong, we have wonderful families and friends and although things have been tough, we have enough to eat and each other.^