What age did you let girlfriends or boyfriends stay over ?

[Teendreams]

DS has just asked if his not quite girlfriend (they're talking/ seeing each other ) can stay tonight. Do I assume she stays with him in his double or he gives his bed up and he has an air bed ? I'm not ready for this scenario yet. All experience and learnings from those who've been there, please help!!

My parents allowed this when I was about 30 and married. For my kids I’ll a be a bit more generous, maybe in their 20s

Ha! Mine too. If I had a spare room she'd be in there without hesitation. I might say he has to sleep downstairs on an airbed

20s

Only once they are moved out. No teen boyfriend/girlfriend sleepovers ever happened here. I don't believe in encouraging children to get involved in serious romantic relationships when they should be focusing on school.

I was allowed to stay at my bf’s parents house at about 20. My parents would never have allowed it, not ever. The first time I had a bf to stay over at my parents house I was nearly 30, and my parents weren’t there at the time otherwise they’d have said no!

How old?

DS1 was 19 I think and in what had quite quickly become and remains a serious relationship. There was a girl who stayed once before then. He had been very insistent that she was just a friend. They were both quite drunk and when she declined the offer of a lift home I insisted that he slept on the sofa. I didn’t really know what was going on and I would have been uncomfortable with putting the two of them at any risk. So to be honest ‘not quite girlfriend’ wouldn’t cut it for me.

I was 15 nearly 16 when I first stayed over at my bfs in 2002 we slept in separate rooms. As a parent I'm good with 20 🤣🤣

This is interesting, I was allowed boyfriend sleepovers at 16. This was 25 years ago

And yeah, I was 24 and married before we shared a bed at my in-laws!

My brother was 15 when his girlfriends were allowed to sleepover in his room.
I was 20.

16 I'd be fine with. How old are they?

I let my son’s girlfriend stay over only when he had stayed over at hers, with her parents full permission, of course. They were both 18. Daughter didn’t ask for a partner to stay over til she was 21 and they were more or less living together (at college) so of course I said yes.

Never. Just had a blanket "no your girl/boyfriend can't sleepover and don't ask again" response" - couldn't be arsed with any of it.

I actually think this is one scenario where my mother got it spot on, her rules were both parties must be 16+, in a committed relationship and the boyfriend had to have spent a good chunk of time with the family prior to staying over.

My kids started asking in their early 20s which I think is fine. I think I’m very lucky that they didn’t ask in their teens although I’d probably say fine to age 17+?
More important is their bf/gf’s behaviour while here. I don’t want to be kept up or woken up by them or have extra cleaning to do. I expect some polite conversation which is what I get from ds’ current gf who is lovely.

My son was 16, a serious gf, they were together 3 years and allowed sleepovers after about a year.

Over 16 def and no casual sleepovers.. Dc haw respected that so far and got many adult dc...

They were both 17. There were serious conversations with ds about contraception, consent, long term loving relationships. He had to confirm her parents knew what was going on and gave their blessing. Her mother and I spoke.

DS was 17 and had been with his girlfriend a good few months. They were settled as a couple. I wouldn’t allow an ‘almost’ to stay over till older.

i do not see how old your DS is? are they already sexually active? i know in this day and age the whole dating thing is different to when i was young.

when my oldest daughter started college, probably about 17, her bf was allowed to say over, infact he arrived one day and just never left but thats a whole other story (i might add that they are now married, have their own home and have just had their first baby).

my 2nd was a bit different as she is bi-sexual and had friends who were girls stayed over when she was 14/15... shes had 'partners' stay over at about 19/20 but only because covid happened.

i dont think theres a set rule.. and being a parent is hard

My parents never allowed it even when DH and I were engaged. We didn’t share a bed at their house until we were married when I was 32yo. They’d never allowed boyfriends or even DH to stay over unless in the spare bedroom and they were really, really strict about it. (I’m in my late 40s now.)

But when they came to stay with me, DH (who was then only my boyfriend!) slept in the same bed as me, as he did every night, and they stayed in the spare room.

I don’t know what we’ll do with our DC and decisions like this, but I definitely won’t do what my mum and dad did.

Depending on their maturity, who it is 17+.

My son is 22, first girlfriend they were both 16 together until they were 18. Never let her sleep over but they'd be left alone in the house sometimes.
Next girlfriend he was 20 after around 3 months I let her stay over.
He's now newly single and knows full well not to bring one night stands home.

Mine was 16, been with the gf for a few months. First time was when he asked if she could join us on a weekend away. After that they started staying at each others houses on a weekend. They are still together over a year later and still spend one weekend night here and one at hers. No mid week sleep overs in term time. She’s in college and he’s working full time now.

Definitely no one night stands in my house though!