What age did you let girlfriends or boyfriends stay over ?

[Teendreams]

DS has just asked if his not quite girlfriend (they're talking/ seeing each other ) can stay tonight. Do I assume she stays with him in his double or he gives his bed up and he has an air bed ? I'm not ready for this scenario yet. All experience and learnings from those who've been there, please help!!

Never! I only was allowed in same bedroom after getting married.

My ds is 18 and I’d be comfortable with a same age girlfriend staying over now as they are both adults.

They're 17. I think first stay over needs to be separated. There's no serious relationship yet so I feel awkward

Ds(20) gf started staying over when they were 18 and had been seeing each other about 6 months. She was visiting in the evenings anyway and it seemed daft he was driving her home at 2-3am or later, her parents had also let him stay there. He didn’t ask, I just said to him one day it was up to him but I didn’t mind if she stayed over.

I’m not quite there yet, but I think I will allow it at 17 in separate rooms. 18 I would allow same room, if they’ve been together a reasonable time (6 months?).

DS was 17 when we allowed it.

My eldest dd was just 17 -in a serious relationship with her boyfriend . My next dd down was 20 (and at university) and my 19 yo dd hasn't had a serious relationship yet.

I was a bit annoyed with my eldest dd because the boyfriends parents let them sleep there first and didn't speak to me about it. So if I were you, I would speak to her parents first, I know that I would have appreciated it. As it was, I didn't have much choice because they were sleeping together there.

Mine was 17 and had been in a relationship for about 6m. They are still together, but she knows no one night stands or casual flings are to be brought home (should they split up). MN often gets very 'cool mum' about teenagers having people to sleep over, but I'm single and would not bring a stream of randomers home out of respect for DD and I expect the same in return.

My son and his gf were 17, they had been together 3 years before she stayed the night.

18 and in relationships over six months

After 16 if in a serious relationship

This is such a bad idea.

With her parents permission and in a separate room, 16. They had been together a year.
Sharing a room - 18. Also took her on holidays with us.
When I was 19 in late 1970s my parents let my then boyfriend, later DH stay.

Jesus Christ an 18 year old is an ADULT!

No wonder so many kids rebel and don't tell their parents shit.

18 or 19 but it was clearly going to be a steady relationship despite being early days

My child is a toddler so can't comment on that but for me and DH, we were each other's first and slept round at 18 and 19.

I disagree! When they are at school is a time when l think teens need the support of each other. It’s not just the so called “romantic relationships”, it’s having a soul mate and one who cares.

Looking back, l was about 15 (now in my 40s) but we never had sex when parents were in the house.

17 for DD and they were boy/girlfriend.

I'm not ready for this scenario yet

Just say no and don't agree until you are ready. No rush, they're kids who are dating and it's your house.

Jesus Christ an 18 year old is an ADULT!

Becoming an adult is a gradual process, especially if living in your parents home. I have a wonderful relation with DD (now 20 and at uni) but that's partly because she respects the boundaries I set.

I’m old fashioned on this one and don’t really care what anyone else thinks as my dh and I discussed it at length, discussed what we feel comfortable with taking other siblings in to account, and we came to an agreement and that’s good enough for me.

So we are basically not allowing any bf or gf sleepovers until the dc have been away to college and university and are then in a steady relationship.

Just because you can at sixteen, doesn’t mean you should, or that it should be encouraged.

I have girls and I prefer them to focus on their studies and on their female friendships at that age (and yes this would apply exactly the same if one of them happened to be gay).

DD is 17 and I’ve just started letting her BF stay over. Only a couple of times so far, but he’s a lovely boy, polite and he very much encourages DD to study hard.

Late teens with mine and a ‘proper’ relationship. Not just ‘seeing’ or ‘talking’ to each other. As def no randoms.

They’re 17 of course they’ve had sex.

I would allow it but set serious ground rules first.

only allowed one sleepover a week so she doesn’t end up there all the time and practically moved in.

They have to respect others in the house with regards to noise.

and make sure you talk about contraception. Don’t shy away from it.

16, once I knew it was serious and they were having sex anyway.

I was 17 when my boyfriend was allowed to sleep over (separate rooms) 18 in same room.

My eldest dd met her boyfriend at 21 at uni so when she moved home he just stopped over.

Youngest asked before eldest when she was 17 we allowed it once they had been together a few months. But he lived in another town so it was easier. She's had two serious boyfriends since and again both stopped after a few months of seeing each other.

Even when they are over 18 I'm not letting men I haven't met/they barely know in to my house. But once they are in an established relationship, met each of these families, got to know each other etc I'm comfortable with it.