What hobbies does your dh do?

[PasstheMaple]

I know I know, no one says what hobbies their partners do on here but I’m asking you to make an exception!

dh desperately needs something to do that isn’t work or the gym. He is bored and mildly depressed and needs a focus, but has turned his nose up at all my suggestions.

please tell me what your dh does! Mine is 45, doesn’t drink much, is reasonably physically fit. We don’t have much money, but we’re in London so can access most stuff. What might he like doing?

Omg glad I'm single

Anything that requires spending a lot of money! Plays guitar, cycling (off and on road) sailing.

Round table
Gym
Politics

Magic the Gathering, Warhammer, Golf but only at driving range, Dungeons and Dragons, Gym, Painting, Taking DDog out for special days, Krav Maga

Golf. He’s very good so plays lots of competitions and it’s amazing for his stress and mental health

I love this thread. My husband has no hobbies unless you count spending an inordinate amount of time arranging the dishwasher. I wish he did. Any hobby would be great.

Golf, running, gym, fantasy football, watching sport… and reading The Times - the actual physical paper everyday, copies left everywhere!

Triathlon isn’t a bad shout as it can be as social or not as you make it. You can train on your own or with a club, or do some with a club and some on their own. Many triathletes I know do the swim sessions as that’s usually their weak spot, run on their own, and a mix of group/solo cycles.

lots of “masters” swim sessions in London, and a few tri clubs.

what is it that’s putting him off? New people?

Dungeons and dragons, table top games, gym, cycling but not the serious lycra stuff, we live by the sea and he likes a nice cycle, he also paints (but unfortunately not our house....). He does the clearing, chopping stuff in the garden, I keep it nice and grow things to eat and cook with, so not sure he'd call that a hobby more of a chore!

As pp said, it would be helpful if you gave us more info - for example,

• which suggestions he has already rejected
• how old / able / fit is he (might be different sports)
• how sociable he is
• is he thrill seeking
• is he wanting something 'fulfilling' like some form of volunteering
• is he wanting to challenge his mind / gain skills

etc

I love that my husband has his hobbies.

It gets him out from under my feet!

All of them. Or is it certainly feels like all of them.

Used to play football but now just watching.
Watching rugby, cricket, athletics, darts, F1. Basically anything other than golf.
Theatre.
He taught himself to play guitar, that requires an upfront cost but he found a cheaper guitar and then upgraded as he got into it with birthday and Christmas money.
DIY.
Hiking.
Cycling.
Watching cycling.
Talking about cycling.
Looking up new things he can buy for his bike.
Reading about new bikes to the market.
Playing which bikes would I buy if I won the lottery.
Researching how he would store his bikes if he won the lottery.
Dismantling and cleaning his bike.
Planning routes that he might one day cycle.
Looking on strava to find routes other people have taken on their bikes.
Photography.
Reading.
Painting.
Cleaning the car.
Researching his next car.
Lego.
He dabbles in coding.

Mine was in to golf and motorbiking before he became ill. He spent obscene amounts of money on both - bike, leathers, helmets gadgets, golf clubs, club membership etc. he'd also disappear for hours at a time doing both, so I wouldn't recommend them, unless you have money to throw away and want him out of your way.

Writes novels has 4 on Amazon

Gardening
Cooking
Cycling
Playing the piano
Skiing
Sailing
Hiking
Travelling

Talking to ChatGPT

PC Gaming
Cycling
Reading
Making things from leather/sewing
Woodwork
DIY
Board games with all of us (we have a monthly board game subscription)

DnD, board games, Lego, skateboarding, hiking.

Gardening/ Allotment / Cooking / Walking/ Reading - all fairly solitary although there are others on the allotment at times to chat to.

I wish mine had some... YouTube?

Golf, usually going to the driving range for about half an hour (often with me and I go for a nice run or a walk and coffee at the clubhouse, we go to different clubs), he plays games very rarely.

DIY

Scrolling on his phone, then telling me what he learned from the 4000 videos he's watched on Kim Jong Un, planting walnuts, how hurricanes are named and what is the latest fashion in fitted sheets.

Going for long, noisy poos, at least 3 per day. (This is unkind of me as he has a health issue.)

He also likes going for walks. As in 30-60 mins. around our city, not hiking.

DH plays three games of 5 a side a week - two local leagues (one normal, one veterans) and one informal game.

He also games on the Xbox - usually open world games such as Witcher and Fallout.

He's very into music so he spends quite a lot of time watching concerts on YouTube, listening, he goes to a lot of gigs (probably twice a month?) and he also plays the guitar

Gym/swimming
Running
Walking our dogs
Golf
Watching DSS play football (he plays for a professional academy)
Goes for walks with AirPods and a podcast

Thank you so much for all the suggestions so far! Sorry - I popped to the shop and so am late to reply.

so, for some more info…

he has rejected EVERYTHING I’ve suggested but I think that’s because he has low mood/ low motivation and not just because my ideas are bad! I have suggested team sports, art classes, photography, filmmaking, just socialising in general

he is very fit but also a bit of a gym bunny and worried about injuring himself with anything that it not part of his normal routine

he is thrill seeking

he wants to find something purposeful but not something that requires a regular commitment (eg every Friday at 2pm) as his mood is up and down and he doesn’t think he can face it

he is very sociable and also very lonely I think. So he is quite scared of meeting new people and being rejected by them. He doesn’t have a local group of friends

I am reading all the suggestions carefully - thank you!