NC for this one, as I suspect said friend might be on MN too. But I've been here since Mexican house thief, neighbour patio window-gate, etc.
This is my issue.
Big friendship group, lots of families. One particular friend likes to take charge when we have group outings. Definite bossy Queen Bee vibes. I let her crack on because once she's decided things should be done a certain way there's little point arguing.
When we first met years ago I had MH issues around anxiety and was a people pleaser, much to my detriment. I admit I used to fawn/pander to her, desperate for her approval. Now, older, wiser, mentally more stable and less fucks given, I don't.
What I've noticed, however – and is the point of my post – is that she LOVES to undermine me in company. She makes subtle digs to imply that I'm a mess or a bit thick and makes jokes at my expense. Worse still, she says stuff about my DH as though she knows him better than me. For instance, if I say 'we're planning to go to xx on holiday', she'll pipe up, 'Oh, but Mr NailedIt isn't into that kind of thing'. She also tries to rope him into the jokes.
It's really bloody annoying! The group is meeting in July and this time I want her to stop trying to big herself up at my expense. Not going is not an option – I love the meet ups and our DC would be devastated to miss out. I've also talked to my DH and while he said in the moment he hadn't noticed what she was doing, with hindsight he can see what I mean. He's going to shut her down in future, but how can I deal with it? I don't think she's a malicious person and I do like her a lot – I think her behaviour is her down to her own insecurities and also because previously I had been an easy target. But I'm tired of being a punchline and need strategies to deal with it.
Thanks!