if you were still with your first love...what would your life be like?

[BigDahliaFan]

My very first love was an eco warrior type, who camped out in the woods and didn't really drink.

I've changed and I'm sure he has too, but none of that is me!

I’d be a widow but I’d have had a happy life.

He was a bit of a dickhead, drifting about while he waited to enter the career he had worked towards his whole life. He's now hugely successful at it but I still bear the scars of his emotional abuse. He was a liar and a cheat.

I married him, and actually I think both of us made bigger and braver decisions together, and hence have bigger lives, than either of us would have done separately.

I'd have a gay husband. 🫤

Makes me shudder to even consider this

Well, I'm old now, but I was very young and he was much older, so he's probably dead now. I grew up, and saw him for what he was, which kind of killed off my adoration for him. But if he'd asked me to stay I would have; fortunately he didn't. Good job, I'd have had an awful life with him. No kids (he already had 4 and was a rotten father) and dancing to his tune all the time. Plus starving myself because he didn't like me "fat". Can't imagine now what it was I ever saw in him.
Have been happily married to someone completely different and same age as me for over 40 years now.

I'd be living in my home town with someone who would have cheated on me for years until he became the little small town old man he is now . Lucky escape.

I am still with him. We’ve been together for 8 years, married for 2 and we have a son together.

I’d be a lesbian! Probably have loads of cats and no kids but be really loaded! 😂

I would be the wife of a multi millionaire property developer. I have no idea what type of man he is now but he was very sweet and very kind . Good to his family too. His mother said he was too young to settle down , true , only 16. But it broke my teenage heart. Occasionally I see him when he visits and he looks great . 😞

I think he probably would have killed me by now, he was abusive and I know he became more so as he got older.

My life would be better. He'd have more kids than he does, I'd have had more passion than I have. But one day. I have hope.

Probably wistfully reminiscing about when he had a full head of hair.

However, DH has GREAT hair

We're still in touch, enough to know he's a nice man but I would absolutely not have shifted the romantic ick that set in.

He had a lot to deal with after a difficult childhood so accompanying him through that process would have been rocky- it manifested in not behaving brilliantly with women when he was younger which included a lot of putting down and nasty little comments. I don't know whether he still does that. His long term ex had a lot to cope with.

I know he has put in a huge amount of work on himself and comes across a lot more self aware.

He was very talented in a creative way and has an amazing mum despite home issues (very complex) who was incredibly kind to me so it would be nice to be around those elements but otherwise, no thanks.

I wish him well though and am glad to be in the peripheries of each other's lives as friends. A true example of someone being far from perfect but still a good person at heart.

22 years and counting... it has been a roller coaster. Both of us have changed so much over the years that it is hard to compare our current selves with the young and carefree risk takers we were back in the days.

During the first few years of our relationship, we were chopping and changing jobs, professions and countries at the drop of a hat with zero financial planning. Life was a big adventure with endless possibilities! You wouldn't guess this if you saw us now.

So you can't really know how life would have been with your first love because you would have grown together over the years and made joint decisions which would have altered the course of your entwined lives.

My first love was lovely. We were together from 15-21. But he was from my home town where his dad had a business that he would go on to inherit along with his brothers. He was from a large Irish Catholic family.
If I were still with him I would live in my home town in the pocket of his (nice) family, I'd have a couple of kids (it would have been out of the question not to), and I would have a part time job that fit around the kids as he would have earned plenty. We would have had a roast at his mums on a sunday and i would have popped round to my mums once a week for a cuppa. I would have been utterly bored and suffocated to be honest.
Instead I live several hours from my home town, with DH, in a national park. We don't have kids through choice (I'm 40) and I have a career and salary - of my own - I could only have dreamed of growing up! In fact, I'm the breadwinner in our household by a mile.

Gosh it seems potential life with first loves wouldn’t have been great for most.

I have no idea if we’d have had kids. We would have been super super wealthy ( family stuff and all that ) and I can guarantee I’d be permanently exhausted from all that sex😁

He was gay, so not fulfilling. He blew cold more than hot, as it was and it's obvious, looking back, that he was struggling with things.

I say was because I found an obituary for him 😕

I’d be living in a £7m house in London or the holiday houses in France or Norfolk, but we’d be having shit sex and probably would have cheated on each other many times. Definitely happier as I am, although not having a mortgage and overdraft would be nice!!

We'd probably still be in bed.
[Not much else going on....]

I would live in Dublin, have three kids and a golden retriever. We would have sex everyday but I would have to make all the money as he didn't really have any ambition. He was smart and funny and excellent in bed. I was stupid :) We're both divorced now but live in different countries. Still in touch but the feelings are gone, sadly.

Yeah, any man I dated who couldn't be fucked to learn to drive would swiftly be an 'ex!'

I’d probably be on first name terms with prison officers 😂😂

Wealthy widow, or not. I’m not convinced he hasn’t faked his own death. Definitely a wide boy with some questionable connections. I’d prob be a bored lady who lunches in Cyprus whilst he paraded me like a trophy. Narrow escape really.

Absolutely horrendous. He was a liar. So much so even he didn't lnow what parts of his life were true.

I've been married and divorced since, but I settled for the very next man who ssid he loved me. I don't think I've been in love (lust, definitely) for nearly 24 years!