if you were still with your first love...what would your life be like?

[BigDahliaFan]

My very first love was an eco warrior type, who camped out in the woods and didn't really drink.

I've changed and I'm sure he has too, but none of that is me!

I would have three crap jobs whilst he smoked all our money away !

He’s grossly overweight, no hair & drives a third hand motor home…I’ve escaped!

Remarkably similar to mine, but a different city (and country) and magazine choices. Even down to the olives... Mine once said that we would have had a perfect marriage if he had been straight, and it probably would have been lovely. No regrets from either of us though, we both have very happy lives and remain good friends.

I quite like the idea that there is a parallel universe where we married!

I think I would have had more kids. He is a slightly depressive type so I probably would have been rolling my eyes a lot at him. He was quite outdoorsy, as am I so we would be a fit couple, probably like a Mountain Warehouse catalogue type of family. Not sure I could have coped with his overly religious dad who loved a pyramid scheme and slightly hostile mother though.

I would be at home with three kids being cheated on every weekend.

He cheated on me, cheated on every subsequent girlfriend and now he’s married, he cheats on his wife.

I'd have a nightmare mother-in-law!!

Dreadful

I’d be an army wife or divorcee, with 2 kids and living either in Canada where he’s from or back in London/SE where I’m from.

I think he always loved me more than I did though, I was definitely his first love.

Exact same scenario though she’d be an ex MIL!

Mine was a Russian man whose family lived in Greece so would have been an interesting life. I think he settled in the UK in the end though.

Our children would have massive noses like
his. (I’ve seen photos of his kids, and that gene must be a strong one).

If I'd married my first ever boyfriend (heaven forbid) I'd have divorced him years ago, bored out of my skull by his incessant talk about cars. His parents loathed me so I'd probably have had a few AIBU threads about my appalling PIL first.

Oh God, most likely living a very small, beige life in Hull in a bland three bed semi. Carefully supermarket shopping every Saturday and spending every Sunday afternoon with his Mum. Thank God I saw the light and escaped to university just in time, where I met DH who was the very opposite of my beige ex in every possible way.

We would have probably divorced a long time ago as we were not on the same wave length. We are still great friends and he is very happily married to one of my best friends.

I’d be living in a massive African city instead of in a rural part of France. That was where he was from and he was always clear that was where he’d settle down, and he has. I’m not sure how happy I would have been with him, although I was heartbroken when we split up!

With my first proper BF I actually did break up with him because I could clearly see the stable, boring future we'd have together, living in our home town, very near parents, going to his family for a BBQ every weekend, him in a boring insurance type job quickly gaining weight (he was already on that road at 18), having a week in Tenerife every year with the extended family. We'd probably be financially stable and have, for all intents and purposes, a normal life that people would think was lovely. But I would be miserable, and wondering about all the things I'd missed out on. I can well imagine I'd have rebelled with some awful affair or just been a thoroughly horrid wife to be around. He couldn't see it at the time but I was definitely doing him a favour by freeing him up to meet someone who wanted that life. He did marry and have children with someone and as far as I have heard all is well. But their life is exactly as I'd foreseen.

My first actual love (like real head over heals, heart racing kind of love) I'd probably be a supporting character in his life as a writer/teacher. I imagine I'd be a shadow of myself and just be a reflection of his personality and likes/dislikes. I wish I'd had MN back then to talk a bit of sense into me! I was heartbroken at the time but am truly thankful now that he dumped me because I know I would never have done it.

I'd be living with someone grossly overweight, who always wanted things their own way, who make zero effort with MY family and friends, would treat me and my job as an afterthought and would make very little contribution to family life, the mental load and the rest. Apart from having a very strong opinion on everything while doing ff-all of the work, the thinking or the admin.
I'd live in a nice house by the sea which I wouldn't be allowed to decorate as it was his parents and he doesn't do change unless it's a car.
So very glad I got out when I did

I would be very comfortably off in some twee Kent village looking for excuses not to hit the gin at 11am.

Hmmm

I’d be a SAHM to 3 children, living on a USAF base in the U.K. We would be just about to PCS back to the USA as he would be retiring aged 45 having done his 26 yrs.

I’d have lived in Hawaii, California, South Korea, Portugal and Italy - oh and Texas. I would be about to embark on helping design a home for us all back in California on the family ranch.

I’d probably still be attending church regularly and would be worrying that I’d let my kids play too much football and sustained concussions. I’d probably also be worrying about gun violence.

Well now thanks to this thread I've ended up visiting his LinkedIn. It looks like I'd be married to an unemployed chief revenue officer, probably living in NY.

I’d be a military wife, albeit of a bandsman.

Fucking terrible 😂 He had no get up and go, made me pay him back 50p when he got two bottles of water for £1.00.

He didn’t really want kids, had no desire to learn to drive, no desire to go out or do anything. I remember desperately wanting to go to Florida, he said “we’ll never afford it so just stop looking”. So I booked it and took my little sister. That’s when I knew it was dead. That and he cheated 😂 I don’t know if it was physical but the messages were explicit. Glad I’m not that 19 year old anymore!!

Life turned out pretty well, DH and I like the same things, are in sync when it comes to managing finances, have the same drive to always do what we want to do, he’s really supportive, excited to travel to new places, go on days out, gets on really well with my family. We both wanted the same type of wedding (I reined him in!), we worked really hard to be able to get on the property ladder. We both have a “Go hard or go home” attitude to everything we do. And now we have the most beautiful little girl and he’s an incredible dad.

He would have had multiple affairs and gaslit me. So I'd definitely be divorced by now.

OP, my second boyfriend sounds very much like your first. He spent years travelling and 'finding' himself. He's now a buddhist, campaigns with extinction rebellion, has had a string of girlfriends, makes art and has never seemed to have a career. Again, I would have divorced him.

I'd love to have married him , but it would have been a disaster ( plus we only went out a few times!)
I was very naive in those days! 😂

Living in the Mumbles, moaning about the Welsh NHS.