Help me be petty

[icantwearjeans]

For reasons too long to go into, an extremely racist, homophobic, internalised misogynist, anti-feminist, fat shaming, classist woman is going to be staying with us shortly (oh ok it's my MIL) and I want to booby trap the house full of things that will offend her delicate (bigoted) sensibilities. Just for LOLs. DH is on board as payback for offering our guest room without asking me first.

Help me with my devious and petty planning. So far I've got gay erotica in the toilet, a Virgin Mary in the guest room (she hates catholics and yes I am one, albeit only culturally), a selection of wonderful 'ethnic' dinners (she counts chilli con carne and chicken korma among these). Also I plan to buy all the snacks from Lidl (she thinks anything but Waitrose is common).

Finally, because she thinks women dressed a certain way are 'asking for it' I need some good (but vaguely plausible) outfit suggestions. Oh and also she believes that all good parents should send their children to private schools - they just need to give up their mobile phones and package holidays- so any good ideas related to this would be much welcomed

Yours in pettiness,
Icantwearjeans

I am assuming posters are joking and they’re not actually nasty, unkind and vengeful in real life. Otherwise, there are some seriously unhappy loons in our midst.

‘When they go low, we go high’ would be a good philosophy to live by, OP.

@Bjorkdidit
Agree that grandma's aren't necessarily old people, but nevertheless my main point still stands that labelling is subjective.
If I look at some 'movements' for example, I totally think it's high time that certain issues are highlighted and addressed but I still have a couple of things that I didn't agree with in the way it's happening. Those who are incapable of analytic thought would probably label me something

Also I haven't seen anyone mention fridge magnets yet. Very cheap and easy way to get symbols (religious and otherwise) and slogans into your house and right into her line of sight every time she opens the fridge. Plus she may disapprove of fridge magnets of any kind on principle for being "common."

@Goldenbear not so. There is a saying 'once a catholic' - so I was christened catholic and grew up in the Catholic Church but I don't believe or practise now but attend catholic family rituals a couple of times a year.

Re my children, I'd never stop them from having a relationship with her or involve them in my pettiness. However, she once said something absolutely shocking in front of them (I won't repeat it but think blaming children involved in a tragedy for being somewhere she deemed unsavoury)
and I did spend some time addressing that.

Just remembered another thing- she hates America and Americanisms. And frivolous spending.

oh dear, what a loser.

Tell us something about you, what things do you like and agree 100% with.

I'm guessing you're perfect in thought and deed. Please guide us lesser mortals

Reading some of the posts on here it seems that not only you can have your sense of humour removed on the NHS, but that many people have done so.

I once stayed in a Spanish home and the lady of the house had a life-size statue of the Virgin Mary in her bedroom.
Maybe have a look on ebay?😂

@GentlemanJohnny
I see where you're coming from but the unfortunate truth is a lot of people label others negatively based on nothing but their strict parameters which do not take into account any analytic thought but just wanting to be seen a 'right on'.

God some people on here can't have a laugh. They love MIL bashing but as soon as someone wants to do some harmless fun to get her through an excruciating visit, they all get their knickers in a twist.

OP how about live streaming Mass on the TV?

it's actually one of the main reasons for the long waiting lists. really I think people should pay for this to be done privately

@icantwearjeans The Radical Tea Towel company is your friend here.

https://radicalteatowel.co.uk/

No man is an island tea towel for the EU? Feminist tea towel? All sorts. You might even find a gift for her.

@icantwearjeans put both. Also loads of Jehovah's witness brochures!?

OP, would you be happy for your children to invite someone round and then be really mean and nasty to them, because they don't like them?

Or is this behaviour only OK in your opinion for adults?

I took it all as a joke to blow off steam here. Not something that was actually going to be done.

It’s reminded me of those threads where someone has a neighbour who parks inconsiderately, several loons pile on saying ‘slash their tires/stick a note on the windscreen with industrial glue….’ or someone has been cheated on and similarly bunny boiler tactics are recommended.

I am so very glad I don’t know people like this in rl.

Ridiculous
Just don't host 🤦‍♀️

😂🤣😭

Can you explain to me how standing a virgin Mary statue is being mean and nasty? Get a sense of humour.

Can you explain to me how standing a virgin Mary statue is being mean and nasty?

Do you really need the context and therefore the entire point of this thread explained to you?

Bravo!

I don't understand what you mean

I'm going with serious unhappy loons 🤭

b