Help me be petty

[icantwearjeans]

For reasons too long to go into, an extremely racist, homophobic, internalised misogynist, anti-feminist, fat shaming, classist woman is going to be staying with us shortly (oh ok it's my MIL) and I want to booby trap the house full of things that will offend her delicate (bigoted) sensibilities. Just for LOLs. DH is on board as payback for offering our guest room without asking me first.

Help me with my devious and petty planning. So far I've got gay erotica in the toilet, a Virgin Mary in the guest room (she hates catholics and yes I am one, albeit only culturally), a selection of wonderful 'ethnic' dinners (she counts chilli con carne and chicken korma among these). Also I plan to buy all the snacks from Lidl (she thinks anything but Waitrose is common).

Finally, because she thinks women dressed a certain way are 'asking for it' I need some good (but vaguely plausible) outfit suggestions. Oh and also she believes that all good parents should send their children to private schools - they just need to give up their mobile phones and package holidays- so any good ideas related to this would be much welcomed

Yours in pettiness,
Icantwearjeans

St Dymphna is the patron saint of the mentally ill, victims of incest and domestic abuse, and runaways.

Pretty sure you could find a very solemn, sad-eyed portrait of her, potentially with this prayer underneath. (Even print one off!)

https://www.ourcatholicprayers.com/prayer-to-st-dymphna.html

I bought my son a mug with a picture of a bloke on it and his clothes disappeared a few minutes after you put a hot drink in it. I bet she'd love one of those!

I looked up “Catholic” on Temu… some very MIL-enraging gear on there. Also “Shrine”. Amazing.

Some new earrings
https://share.temu.com/21RDRKn01HA

Holy Water Bottles
https://share.temu.com/fL6h1fAMbDA

https://share.temu.com/hS2LhtWLVjA

A wee font! This one is the best

https://share.temu.com/kjt8TmQczaA

Virgin Mary Hanger
https://share.temu.com/m9jcvVWhZVA
Wreath
https://share.temu.com/VY4Qg2qkCKA

Virgin Mary Statue
https://share.temu.com/m7ElhnaZCmA

Bowl for the incense
https://share.temu.com/tsZlvK3tvZA

I don’t have the energy to even finish your post, much less suggest how you should deal with this. 🤷🏽‍♀️

@Catniagara great post!!

I'm shocked that adult women can be so nasty, unkind and downright vengeful. The standard of most of these replies is of a 10 year old . I hope they're not mothers who are bringing their children up to think this is a normal adult way of handling problems..

Show a photo of a recent guy marriage you went to ( get ai to generqte a lovely image of you guys with the happy couple) preferably including an interracial couple. Display it proudly in your living room

How about @icantwearjeans gets a big handbell that her DH rings on the hour every hour - everything stops for the Angelus. A few days of Hail Marys should really get the MIL frothing!

But has the energy to think “I’ll go on and post a comment” - the irony. 🤔🤣

I think it’s hilarious, it’s a joke. Perhaps the OP has tried other ways to combat comments and it’s fallen on deaf ears. Why should she move out, her mil could stay elsewhere and maybe she will in future lol.

Play the Brown Girls do it too podcast.

Asian women talking about sex, relationships, feminism etc.

Absolutely. Everyone seems to have glossed over this.
Knowing full well the OP doesn't like her, why would he have her as an overnight guest??

I'd be punishing him a hell of a lot more.

Cardi B - WAP played sporadically throughout the day

I love this! Ignore the holier than thou lot. Clearly haven’t been in this situation themselves.
I have and in my experience all turning the other cheek gets you is two slapped cheeks instead of one.
Crack on OP and more power to your elbow.

I know this is all funny and light-hearted but I'm going to give a small word of warning here. Your children will witness this. They may well think it's really funny now. But this is their grandmother and when they become adults they may have a different view and think badly of you. I remember my mum doing this kind of thing to her MIL, my grandma. Now, I fully accept my grandmother was a difficult woman and I absolutely understand my mum's desire to do it. But as an adult, when I looked back on some of those things they seemed petty and a bit cruel and really it was one of the only memories I have where I think of my beloved mother in a pretty unfavorable light. Because even though mum hated my grandma - and I joined in with that as a child - as an adult I regretted that, developed my own relationship with her and grew to love her. Your children will be adults one day and will remember what you do now. For that reason, I'd rise above it and be the better person.

Wow, what a toxic environment. Not sure if you have kids but what a poor example to set, and what a horrible family dynamic to further exacerbate. Grow up and rise above it.

The OP doesn't like her MIL because she's racist, homophobic, internalised misogynist, anti-feminist, fat shaming and classist.

Based on that, it's unlikely that her DC will like Grandma either.

They won't like her at the moment. They may never like her. They will probably always see her for what she is. But children often have a particular connection with grandparents and sometimes once they are adults can see the influences that shaped their grandparents and see the person beyond that. I am not in any way defending those behaviours from the MIL and I would be explaining to my children why I think those attitudes are wrong, over and over.

But I wouldn't be engaging in the kind of thing there's any risk my children would resent me for when I'm an adult. Because I've been the child in that situation and it's uncomfortable when you grow up.

The OP doesn't like her MIL because she's racist, homophobic, internalised misogynist, anti-feminist, fat shaming and classist.

Based on that, it's unlikely that her DC will like Grandma either.

I don't agree with this at all. Giving grandma these labels will be very subjective of the OP. A lot of old people base their views on lived experiences, reflected in their having lived long lives and seen and experienced a lot of things. This is not to defend any of the above but just saying that labelling people is often subjective. I have sometimes criticised things where I could have been labelled something. Not being allowed to criticise things means that you think they are perfect and they're mostly not.

My SIL is most of 'racist, homophobic, internalised misogynist, anti-feminist, fat shaming and classist' and she's a MIL and a grandma. She's in her early 40s.

Grandmas aren't necessarily 'old people' and many are nowhere near old enough for their age to be an excuse to be these things because that's their lived experience.

I fear she might approve of bobotie, it's probably Afrikaner in origin. (Black south africans are more likely to eat mealie pap (maize meal) and stew.
However you can make it nice and spicy 🌶️ 🌶️

If you do invest in new mugs, make sure they are huge and have really thick rims.
I don't need bone china, but can't stand tea out of a thick mug (e.g. like in Starbucks).

I am on a different level of pretty 😂

Same non-specific lines: get coloured toilet paper. Empty tube sat in the holder and new one plonked on top.
Or maybe a recycled/hippy brand with packet on display? Bonus if every sale gives money to xyz cause.

😂

Leave DVDs of Kinky Boots and Breakfast on Pluto on the coffee table?

Is this for real? You sound like a lunatic.

A red bra under a white blouse would also be great. Make sure your sluttiest underwear is hanging to dry all over the house and garden. (Try Primark for lacy things at minimal cost if you don't own any. Can you leave the Primark carrier bags somewhere very visible?)