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CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?

990 replies

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 15:24

New thread! Last one was here
www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5049200-cf-allotment-thief-part-3-the-plot-thickens-and-auditions-begin-for-the-west-end-musical?page=38&reply=135136744

So a quick update.

DH dropped me off for my surgery this morning then dropped the kids at school before heading to the allotment. Babs was there gardening as were some other people on their own plots. All her crap was still there

DH went up and reminded her that she needs to be off the plot by the 20th. She said that she is awaiting advice from her solicitor to see if she can challenge us. She also said if the solicitor says she has to be off, she will be gone by the 20th but isn’t giving it up without checking if she has rights first. She did a fair bit of guilt tripping to DH about how she has spent 10 years being part of a community and having a hobby and she now has to give it all up but he held strong and told her, unless she comes back with a legitimate legal claim her property will be off the allotment by the 21st - wether it’s removed by her or by him.

However - enter Penfold stage right

Penfold is what we are calling the allotment neighbour who marched over from the other side of the plots (because that’s who he looks like). He started shouting at DH saying “You’re a bully! Fancy picking on an old lady and taking her allotment off her after all her years of hard work”. He pointed out it’s his allotment now and Penfold said that “just because your name is on a piece of paper it doesn’t give you the right to steal it off it’s rightful owner”. He then start saying “What do you know about gardening pretty boy? These allotments should be for real gardeners not pretty boys like you”

When DH told me this I laughed so hard I thought my stitches may burst 😂 DH IS very pretty but he’s also mid-40’s and hasn’t been called pretty in many many years. We are in semi-rural Yorkshire though and a man wearing a top that isn’t either blue black or white is considered a feminine.

When DH stated he does actually know about gardening, Penfold was all “Yeah right yeah right all you know about is putting your make up on” 🤣🤣 and said how these allotment owners have been around for decades he can’t just barge in and kick people out. DH said he was half expecting Penfold to say “this is a local allotment for local people”.

Then it was BABS of all people who told Penfold to STFU. Not quite those words but she said “oh do calm down Nigel”. The other plot owners just kept their heads down apparently. DH took off in the end but he is considering buying a Danger Mouse t-shirt to wear when he gardens. I’ve told him I can help him apply his make up 😂.

Anyway Babs’s words don’t exactly fill me with confidence but it’s better than flat out refusing to leave I suppose. I’m absolutely confident that legally she hasn’t a leg to stand on, but that doesn’t mean some dodgy solicitor won’t claim otherwise for a bit of easy money off her. Either way unless there is a claim that has legs (highly unlikely) DH will be round on the 21st to set up his stuff. PP were right about insane allotment owners - but we are just gonna have to lump it and not let Penfold ruin our time there.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
AnCùDubh · 26/05/2024 17:18

I’ve been reliably informed on a other thread by a poster that I’m being watched on other chat forums and websites due to, I think, my race/religion,

Is this Penfold's Posse bitching about you on GardeningBores.corn?

Humdingerydoo · 26/05/2024 17:28

Bet Penfold and Babs are away on a long, dirty weekend together.

Welcome back @YaMuvva !

Newestname002 · 26/05/2024 17:48

@YaMuvva

No wonder you don't like beetroot if this is what you were given!

I actually have flashbacks of a stew type dish that my Nanna used to make that had beetroot and I think cottage cheese or similar white gunk plopped on top

It sounds like something more suited to a medical procedure... 🤢

Scottishskifun · 26/05/2024 17:50

Glad you are on the mend @YaMuvva and that babs vacated! Hurrah after all her bluster!

Beetroot is the marmite of the veg world that and celeriac! I love both but golden beetroot washed done on a mandolin with a simple French dressing rocket and walnuts is amazing or roasted with garlic and herbs.

artant · 26/05/2024 17:51

Beetroot is delicious (except for pickled beetroot, there’s no excuse for that). This thread has reminded me that I forgot to get the cheese I wanted for a beetroot and sheep’s cheese salad. Damn.

Newestname002 · 26/05/2024 17:57

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 26/05/2024 17:12

Beetroot, goats cheese and walnut salad is nectar from heaven.

Ooooh. I'll have to try that!

OP do you like sauerkraut? In which case you might want to grow cabbages to make your own? I'm too lazy to grow vegetables or make my own fermented foods, sadly.

If, like me, you can't be bothered to make your own, can get the small pots of unpasteurised sauerkraut in some supermarkets - the pasteurised stuff is, apparently, nowhere near as good for your gut, etc. I sometimes add a spoonful in sandwiches or as a side dish. 🌹

SmudgeButt · 26/05/2024 18:08

Have to put this in here.....if there's beetroot growing don't forget that the green leafy tops are excellent. Like spinach. Marvellous. I hate it when someone has removed them and are just selling the root part.

allhailthebrain · 26/05/2024 18:23

Is your village twinned with Royston Vasey…?

oh, or there was that creepy episode of Torchwood called Countrycide where the villagers - no, never mind. You don’t need nightmares on top of everything else!

Hope yaneighbour pipes down soon!

Re: the allotment, you do need a flag. It’s what makes taking land official, innit? Eddie Izzard is quite vocal on the topic 😁

myfaceismyown · 26/05/2024 18:27

quantumbutterfly · 26/05/2024 16:14

You should plant a big stand of pampas grass before you start the rumour about the hot tub.

A wicker heart on the front door is apparently the new pampas grass... just saying. You could put one on the shed door OP 😂
Actually no, resist the temptation. We do not know if Penfold swings. Could make him overly friendly when Prettyboy is bending over his beetroot

HappiestSleeping · 26/05/2024 18:50

myfaceismyown · 26/05/2024 18:27

A wicker heart on the front door is apparently the new pampas grass... just saying. You could put one on the shed door OP 😂
Actually no, resist the temptation. We do not know if Penfold swings. Could make him overly friendly when Prettyboy is bending over his beetroot

"Push your stool in for you sir?"

🫨

Ohnobackagain · 26/05/2024 18:52

@YaMuvva thanks for the updates. Try the beetroot raw - delicious chopped up
in salads that way 😎

yespleasetococoa · 26/05/2024 19:24

Beetroot also delicious boiled cooled and chopped into blackcurrant jelly- sounds disgusting but is really lovely 🤷‍♀️Glad to know you are in the mend but wonder if you could go after your vendor on the basis of non disclosure of seriously bizarre neighbours

Justlivingnextdoor · 26/05/2024 19:28

So glad you're ok and got your allotment back all ok.

StaunchMomma · 26/05/2024 20:29

YaMuvva · 26/05/2024 15:44

Absolutely! I was gonna send one of me and DH with champagne in our hands in our chairs originally but I’ve been reliably informed on a other thread by a poster that I’m being watched on other chat forums and websites due to, I think, my race/religion, so I sadly can’t risk my face and name being outed 😭 I’ll get the booze in the picture though, and maybe me feet again, the stockings may even get a comeback 🤣🤣🤣

Christ, OP - that's awful!

So many utter bastards out there. Stay safe.x.

Shan5474 · 26/05/2024 20:35

YaMuvva · 26/05/2024 16:58

Ill never forget the day I told my mum that pampas grass in your front garden is the sign of being a swinger and she had a massive sulk and spent the afternoon huffily ripping hers out as we all watched on giggling as she refused to help (then of course when there was a handful left, complained no one had helped her 🤣🤣)

I have two huge (too big really) pampas grasses outside my house. My neighbour coos over them, a random wedding planner knocked wanting some for a wedding, but I have never, not once, been mistaken for a swinger. What am I doing wrong??

WearyAuldWumman · 26/05/2024 20:40

Shan5474 · 26/05/2024 20:35

I have two huge (too big really) pampas grasses outside my house. My neighbour coos over them, a random wedding planner knocked wanting some for a wedding, but I have never, not once, been mistaken for a swinger. What am I doing wrong??

I’d ask Mum if she were still around…

She was quite sedate, but the woman next door was nicknamed Marilyn. She wore miniskirts, you know. Scandalous for someone in their 60s, apparently… nods

NotARealWookiie · 26/05/2024 20:40

YaMuvva · 26/05/2024 16:58

Ill never forget the day I told my mum that pampas grass in your front garden is the sign of being a swinger and she had a massive sulk and spent the afternoon huffily ripping hers out as we all watched on giggling as she refused to help (then of course when there was a handful left, complained no one had helped her 🤣🤣)

😂😂😂 our neighbours had it and when I was a teenager trying to explain where I lived to my friends parents, they would always say “what the house with the pampas grass?!”

TutiFrutti · 26/05/2024 20:57

I fear we can never be friends OP, I'm the mother of a Saints supporter (don't judge me, he wasn't raised that way) and I absolutely love beetroot.
However, all that aside I'm so glad you're feeling better and Beligerent Babs has cleared off.
I hope GFS winds her neck in and you can feast on your future freshly grown Massive Salads in peace.

Shan5474 · 26/05/2024 21:09

WearyAuldWumman · 26/05/2024 20:40

I’d ask Mum if she were still around…

She was quite sedate, but the woman next door was nicknamed Marilyn. She wore miniskirts, you know. Scandalous for someone in their 60s, apparently… nods

Ooh perhaps it’s the lack of miniskirts! I’m with your mum as I feel I (at the ripe old age of 32) have already put my bum-flashing days behind me. I guess my tracksuit bottoms don’t have all that much allure, even though they’re flared which I’ve been assured is both trendy and flattering

GeminiGiggles · 26/05/2024 21:41

Have we seriously got 3 new pages of comments without discussing who will play GTS in the film or have I missed it in all the talk of beetroot? 🤮

WearyAuldWumman · 26/05/2024 21:47

Shan5474 · 26/05/2024 21:09

Ooh perhaps it’s the lack of miniskirts! I’m with your mum as I feel I (at the ripe old age of 32) have already put my bum-flashing days behind me. I guess my tracksuit bottoms don’t have all that much allure, even though they’re flared which I’ve been assured is both trendy and flattering

😂

For about two years, my mum genuinely thought that "Marilyn" was the neighbour's real name. Apart from the miniskirts, she also wore her hair in a beehive all through the '70s and '80s. She was nicknamed "Marilyn" long before she became our neighbour.

Mum even called her "Marilyn" to her face and the neighbour never said a word.

Then Mum found out the awful truth...The reason that she was nicknamed "Marilyn" was because of the miniskirts, the hair...

...and the fact that her surname was Munro.

YaMuvva · 26/05/2024 21:47

GeminiGiggles · 26/05/2024 21:41

Have we seriously got 3 new pages of comments without discussing who will play GTS in the film or have I missed it in all the talk of beetroot? 🤮

Brenda Blethyn!

OP posts:
quantumbutterfly · 26/05/2024 21:58

WearyAuldWumman · 26/05/2024 21:47

😂

For about two years, my mum genuinely thought that "Marilyn" was the neighbour's real name. Apart from the miniskirts, she also wore her hair in a beehive all through the '70s and '80s. She was nicknamed "Marilyn" long before she became our neighbour.

Mum even called her "Marilyn" to her face and the neighbour never said a word.

Then Mum found out the awful truth...The reason that she was nicknamed "Marilyn" was because of the miniskirts, the hair...

...and the fact that her surname was Munro.

marilyn munro 😁

Pluviophile1 · 26/05/2024 22:16

When I was a child. The neighbours opposite used to have "intimate gatherings" with another couple...until the wife of one couple and the husband of the other ran off with each other. No pampas grass at the neighbours', as I recall.

Oblomov24 · 26/05/2024 22:23

Sorry op but the update is a bit lacking. Let's hope babs and penfold do something exciting eg sabotage new shed.

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