CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?

[YaMuvva]

New thread! Last one was here
www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5049200-cf-allotment-thief-part-3-the-plot-thickens-and-auditions-begin-for-the-west-end-musical?page=38&reply=135136744

So a quick update.

DH dropped me off for my surgery this morning then dropped the kids at school before heading to the allotment. Babs was there gardening as were some other people on their own plots. All her crap was still there

DH went up and reminded her that she needs to be off the plot by the 20th. She said that she is awaiting advice from her solicitor to see if she can challenge us. She also said if the solicitor says she has to be off, she will be gone by the 20th but isn’t giving it up without checking if she has rights first. She did a fair bit of guilt tripping to DH about how she has spent 10 years being part of a community and having a hobby and she now has to give it all up but he held strong and told her, unless she comes back with a legitimate legal claim her property will be off the allotment by the 21st - wether it’s removed by her or by him.

However - enter Penfold stage right

Penfold is what we are calling the allotment neighbour who marched over from the other side of the plots (because that’s who he looks like). He started shouting at DH saying “You’re a bully! Fancy picking on an old lady and taking her allotment off her after all her years of hard work”. He pointed out it’s his allotment now and Penfold said that “just because your name is on a piece of paper it doesn’t give you the right to steal it off it’s rightful owner”. He then start saying “What do you know about gardening pretty boy? These allotments should be for real gardeners not pretty boys like you”

When DH told me this I laughed so hard I thought my stitches may burst 😂 DH IS very pretty but he’s also mid-40’s and hasn’t been called pretty in many many years. We are in semi-rural Yorkshire though and a man wearing a top that isn’t either blue black or white is considered a feminine.

When DH stated he does actually know about gardening, Penfold was all “Yeah right yeah right all you know about is putting your make up on” 🤣🤣 and said how these allotment owners have been around for decades he can’t just barge in and kick people out. DH said he was half expecting Penfold to say “this is a local allotment for local people”.

Then it was BABS of all people who told Penfold to STFU. Not quite those words but she said “oh do calm down Nigel”. The other plot owners just kept their heads down apparently. DH took off in the end but he is considering buying a Danger Mouse t-shirt to wear when he gardens. I’ve told him I can help him apply his make up 😂.

Anyway Babs’s words don’t exactly fill me with confidence but it’s better than flat out refusing to leave I suppose. I’m absolutely confident that legally she hasn’t a leg to stand on, but that doesn’t mean some dodgy solicitor won’t claim otherwise for a bit of easy money off her. Either way unless there is a claim that has legs (highly unlikely) DH will be round on the 21st to set up his stuff. PP were right about insane allotment owners - but we are just gonna have to lump it and not let Penfold ruin our time there.

It was also the title of an episode of Grimm (which I'm bingewatching yet again and getting some very weird dreams when I've been doing it late at night)

The Dead Poets Society scene was also parodied in an episode of The League of Gentlemen - Pauline the Restart Officer is sacked from Jobseekers and Mickey stands on the table as she goes. Steve Pemberton again, hehe

OMG I forgot about that 🤣🤣

There’s also a Jack Whitehall comedy show about teaching, his character fancies another teacher and is always trying to impress her. He calls her to his classroom and pays the kids to do the Dead Poets Society thing - he says “God they’re always doing this every time I come back from the loo” or similar 😂

My neighbour's cat is called Captain, which I find very amusing.

@CaptainMyCaptain

When Jack Woolley's dog, Captain, died Jack cried 'O Captain my Captain!'.

I remember that scene 😢.

I'd love to see the faces of Babs and Penfold when they find out.

Shameless post to bookmark! And snuggling in with my popcorn for next Tuesday- blimey it’s been a long four weeks! Hooding you are feeling stronger op and can’t wait to see what band has to say about sallly claiming to have told her to sling her hook!

<unrelated grumble alert>

When the Yorkshire and Scottish MN contingents come down in support on the 21st can we make an afternoon detour to the PTA meeting please? I have a trustee role and have told all the other trustees why I won’t be available likely for the rest of the term. I thought it best to just be honest, I’ve been a faithful member for some time now, and have given so much time at events.

They’re actually openly whinging in the group that I’m on that it’s so hard to find a temporary replacement for me and the Chair has said “Well someone on the trustee board will have to deputise as for whatever reason YaMuvva is unavailable” 🤬🤬 What a twat.

It’s only fucking note taking

And the treasurer has owned me £230 in expenses for 3 months now and keeps putting off making the transfer. Can you all come with me so I can tell then to shove their role and send me my expenses please?

PS it’s not the Chair trying to keep my health condition confidential, I put a big long post myself on the group a few weeks ago. He’s a passive aggressive nob and wonders why more people don’t help out.

I'm a grumpy, Scottish, retired Head of Department. Will gladly berate a PITA PTA.

We actually have a very Scottish Head who some people find very gruff and my DH just keeps telling parents “No she’s lovely she’s just from Scotland. We sound that way to everyone” 😂 I’ve a feeling she fantasies about killing us all 🤣

nods

I still have my late husband's gown. Am willing to don it for effect.

The last time I did supply, a 6ft 2 lad tried to stand up to me.

I just took off my specs. His somewhat gratifying response was: "Whoa! Near shat myself!"

The PTA need someone to turn up at the meeting and say 'YaMuvva sent me to collect her cheque, I'll take it now, here's my letter of authorisation or you can phone her.

BY THE WAY, she'd kill me if she knew I'm saying this, but she was actually quite hurt that you didn't send her a get well card. She's done a lot of work with you over the years, a kind gesture wouldn't have gone amiss'.

'And by the way, where's her money?'

'Cash will do'

Unmannerly oafs, the lot of them.

@YaMuvva That's deeply unkind of the PTA Chair, and most unfair. I would find that and the subsequent whinging very upsetting. I might be tempted to respond to the group:

"Dear All, In case anyone missed my previous communications, I would like to reiterate that I regret that I will be unavailable for the next term's meetings. This is down to the unfortunate XYZ health issue I am suffering, for which I am currently recovering from major surgery, and not - as mentioned by Chair -"for whatever reason", nor any conscious decision on my part to deliberately let you down. I apologise again for the inconvenience and hope you are able to secure a suitable replacement. I wish you well for your current and future endeavours and will continue to support the school and PTA from behind the scenes as I recuperate. In the meantime I would be grateful if a cheque for £123 for the expenses still outstanding to me since February could be forwarded at your earliest convenience."

But that's perhaps kinder than they deserve. And also just what I'd do. My boss laughs and says that he always knows when I am really angry about something. Because the more p*ssed-off I am, the politer my wording gets. 😈

With you in this and all things @YaMuvva x

I am going to reply, especially as this morning one of them asked me if I could send a report by 3pm today on the last event we ran (we normally do reports that outline the profits, prize winners, any compliments and complaints and lessons learnt etc). I just replied saying “No I can’t”

but I need to keep my cool about the other stuff, and this is great response thank you!

Omg that's appalling! Poor you on top of everything else 😔

Same! I go absolutely sickly sweet when I’m utterly seething!

@CaptainMyCaptain for a moment I thought your name was a tribute to Ben Willbond in Ghosts. Because, well, the Captain.

Maybe @YaMuvva can find a way of casting him. Please.

He must be related to Babs

Perhaps Babs would like to help outwith the PTA as she won’t be doing much gardening

Great "Minor Update"

And perfect timing, third week in May is the last for UK frosts in most areas.

Has pretty boy started any seedlings on your windowsills?
If not I think I might be treating myself to some pre germinated vegetable seedlings from the garden centre to plant ceremoniously on eviction day.

I perhaps would remove the coloured garden centre labels and relabel with white writing on black labels, will look A as if you know what you are doing and B have been preparing for your allotment for a while...

I like these and they come with the pen.

@YaMuvva "It’s only fucking note taking"

I'm sure it's likely more than that.

"And the treasurer has owned me £230 in expenses for 3 months now and keeps putting off making the transfer."

That really is just taking the mick.

I've never been involved with school governance or PTA etc myself, but my father did. After he retired he spent about 15-20 years working as the Clerk to the Governors for a couple of local special schools (SEND).

This paid a modest hourly wage (slightly above minimum wage) and also expenses etc. He always made sure he got reimbursed his expenses in a timely manner otherwise it can just drag on like you say.

Since this a separate voluntary organisation, could there perhaps be a bit of a cash flow problem? Is the Treasurer not paying you perhaps because there aren't sufficient funds in the account?

Well, here's another character for the TV show, Terry (or Theresa) the Treasurer.

Why not just be upfront about it "Terry/Theresa, you've been putting off paying my expenses for the last 3 months now, why is that? Is it perhaps because there isn't enough money in the account to cover the payment?"

Terry/Theresa will then either say "Oh, of course there's enough money to pay you" - which then leaves them with no excuse to not pay you.

Or, if they claim there are insufficient funds then your PTA really is in big trouble if they can't afford to pay a £230 bill.

Either way, you'll know where you stand.

Sorry to hear you are recovering from surgery. Maybe you can collapse Babs shed into a day bed.

I would print sallys statement about giving Bab’s notice and laminate it and staple it to various posts around the allotments. 😂