Have you gifted your children money towards a house deposit and if so, how much.

[Prettypup]

DS is buying a house. We are gifting them 5k towards furniture etc but I do wish we could give more.

We have two children and will gift DD the same when she’s ready.

We have about 65k saved but DH and I don’t have huge pensions and I suspect we’ll need this to be able to finish work a little early if possible.

Part of me thinks that based on our savings 5k seems a bit mean and we should be giving more. What do you think? I’m nervous of giving too much away at the moment. We’ll be able to help DS with one off little helping hands now and again over the year (a food shop, little gifts for their home etc).

I gave my son half of what I inherited from my parents which was around 160k on the conditions that he bought a house with it

he bought with his partner ( but ring fenced his deposit) he put down around 100k

he bought a car and a few other things & he’s got around 25k left over

I’ve also given him money for furniture around 10k
paid for new carpets and shutters

partnere parents paid solicitors fees & moving fees

DS and his GF will be just covering the bills living in our house when we go off travelling for up to three years so it’s going to save them a lot of money. All they will have to do is look after our little cat who adores them both. They are delighted but I do not want an empty house and I’m not renting it out as too many horror stories. It’s very much a mutual favour. We will probably gift them something as well when they buy after we return. We are far better off than you op but the percentage we give will be less.

I would say that as much as you are a very lovely person and lovelier than I will ever be you are not that shrewd with finances. You are giving away 7.5% of your entire savings.

£30000, which was a 10% deposit 15 years ago. It was my lump sum.

I gave DS 10k out of a house sale. He's only 19 years older so I figured it would be more helpful in his early 20's than later on in life when we are both old

Of course I mean 19 years younger

You give what you have based on your situation and everyone's needs. My family gave me £200K when we bought our first house. This is a lot more than most, but it's an amount they would barely even notice was missing from an account. They have a lot of savings and investments and a pension pot that dh and I will never get close to. Their pensions are more than our monthly income combined and we are above average earners.

My mum comes from very working class roots though and when she got her first job back in the early 1970s, she used her credit to buy a house for my grandparents, so she was on the mortgage but they essentially paid off the mortgage for her over the years. It wasn't much of a house, but it did sell for £150K after they died, so in a sense, they also gifted her money for a house, but in sort of reverse.

I think it's lovely to help if you can, but you have to do it within your means.

OK, I'm going to turn the '4 Yorkshireman' sketch back around ;) My parents gave me £300 when I got married (exH gave us £100 & paid for pram when Ds born 3 yrs later). My parents left me nothing but a carrier bag with >£500 in notes inside.
My DCs - I hope only to pay down my mortgage so they have somewhere secure to share as a home (both ASD).

OP, I think that is generous with your resources.

I think you are being v generous OP. You do what you can. I wasn't given anything for my first house but 20 years ago, I feel housing was more obtainable than it is now. As a result, we saved amount monthly for each DC from when they were born and they should have about £50K each as a deposit.

I wasn't given anything but that's because my parents didn't have anything to give, no inheritances in our family.

I received about 30,000 from my parents, and 40,000 when my Grandparents passed away. This all went on a flat deposit.
My parents can easily afford it. I'd do the same in their situation.

Not yet as eldest is only 18. But when the time comes, I will do. My mum and my PILs helped us as much as they could. It meant we could get onto the property ladder in good time and build from there. I think most parents, provided that they can, will help their kids. there are plenty of exceptions though. My dad wouldn’t ever give anyone a single penny. No help during university even, not a penny. My younger sibling was literally goign without meals at uni and my dad stood by and took 6 holidays a year. We don’t speak to him now. Not over money - that was just symptomatic of the fact that he just doesn’t care for us at all.

This is a lovely thread, making me feel a little sad though!

I didn't receive any help from parents when I bought my first house, although my grandparents gave me £500 for some furniture. My DH received nothing from parents too. Luckily we have quite high paying jobs and are really sensible with money, but it still would have been a nice 'gesture'.

Me and DH trying for a baby atm, and already are thinking about what accounts/where we will put savings for them, as we don't want them to end up with no help like both of us did. We want to give them a good start in life.

I find it really sad that some parents don't even offer a token gesture (if they can obviously afford it), even if it's £100 or something.

You shouldn't feel obliged to give anything OP, I think it is sad that this has become the norm. When parents do this, all it does is push house prices up and make things harder for people whose parents can't afford to gift thousands of pounds.

@Bakereld We bought our first house in the late 70s. Most of our friends received monetary gifts from parents. My parents would never give anything and even big birthdays had been ignored. Therefore I expected £0 and they didn't have much money either.

I think DH was disappointed his parents did the same. They had paid off their mortgage, had a decent car and had a caravan. They didn't have much spare money but it felt like we were irrelevant. They subsequently didn't want to help out with our wedding expenses,. DM was by then a widow and they thought she should pay. DH was only child. We were determined to do better and help DC. We didn't need a house deposit but we would have loved a bit towards furniture. Or even someone thinking about us.

That sounds a little ungrateful. I expect you didn't mean it like that. But if I heard my kids say I could easily afford anything I gave them I'd be a little miffed.

I'm in my 40s about to inherit £150k and intend to use it to buy a small house with a mortgage and then give my son's £50k each.

I don't have any private pensions and only a few thousand in savings but I know how much better my life would have been if I had been able to buy in my early 20s. No point hoarding my money when I can help my kids have a better life than I had!

my parents gave me £100k after my divorce which made a massive difference to the house ( in London) i was able to buy for DD and I. My mum left DD £50k which allowed her to get on the property ladder shortly after starting work. She's pregnant and I am giving her £11k from one of my pension lump sums which I will receive as part of the divorce. I've told her to think of it as a gift from her (deadbeat) dad- she hasn't seen him for a number of years and hasn't told him she's having a baby. Every day Ivam thankful that we were fortunate enough to receive gifts giving the freedom to divorce, have decent homes and have a baby

Neither of my parents gave me anything and to be honest it has done my brother and I good to save for one pay for everything on our own. Would never expect anything but if you do give something a token gift/items towards the house would be lovely and well thought out.

@Woohow I don't think you can afford to be that generous. You have no pension provision? No savings? Yet giving £100,000 away? If I read that correctly. My DC would never want me to do that.

Enough (with her savings added) for DD to buy a flat outright. DH had a large inheritance and signed a deed of variation so a proportion went straight to her.

We were very fortunate to have been in a position to do that, and she knows that it has set her up for life - and has her grandparent to thank for it.

😱 I can't believe people are gifting these massive sums when they don't even have a pension (or are drawing it out of their own pensions). That's ridiculous.

We have helped our children out quite a lot, but we are very fortunate to be in a position to do so. Unless you have good pension provision, do not leave yourself short. If you give to one child, make sure you can give the same amount to all your children. It is only fair and you don’t want your children falling out.

It is probably the truth.

The huge difference between parents is often those who inherit property and money and those that don't. If there's valuable houses already in the family, it makes a huge difference. Only child makes it all go further. You vary a will to avoid an inheritance going into your estate for IHT purposes. If you don't need it, avoid inheriting it.

Also, my DC are fairly well appraised about our "wealth". It's not ungrateful to say parents can afford it if they absolutely can! Adults say it all the time!