50 and becoming boring - anyone else resonate?

[theartfuldodger100]

This weekend I had the chance to go away (UK) with friends. I binned this off because I would rather be at home. Home in my comfy joggers. Home having a spring clean and looking forward to giving the house a good clean and making it smell nice and feel clean and sorted. Home so I can go on long runs. Home so I can have a BBQ (weather permitting!) and my choice of food (whereas being away and going to restaurants I am limited to the menu choices). Home so I have all my creature comforts around me. Home in my safe space. and own bed.

Is this peri ?

am I becoming boring ?

anyone else resonate ?

That is a huge factor psychologically.

I’m mid 40’s with a 3 year old. My DH is a few years older. Our outlook on life is very different to other couples we know of a similar age who don’t have young children.

Our neighbours are close in age to DH and I but have 4 grown up children and several grandchildren. They act like they are pensioners. Their outlook on life is dramatically different to ours.

That said, people should do whatever makes them happy and not feel pressurised to conform.

If it makes you happy why worry if you’re boring? My 50th was last week. I saw a 90s electronic/techno group on Wednesday and away at the weekend with a big group of women to London at the weekend. Seeing more dance acts in the summer. Love pub bands, singing in a folk choir, the odd loud ‘out out’ night. Getting my life back now I have teens. I’ll keep going until arthritis catches up with me. I have a lovely comfy home with husband but still love going out. Weirdly I’m an introvert but I’m energised by music.

I used to be a huge party girl. Never at home fri or sat night. Massive FOMO. Nowadays I just want to retreat into my home. Pubs & restaurants are expensive.i can get better & cheaper at home. I feel safe at home. People these days can be v brash and rudely outspoken. I've experienced it. I just want to shut myself away from most people. I used to be so outgoing. Now I keep myself to myself, never make eye contact with a stranger when out, cannot be doing with ditherers in the supermarket. I do as much as I can online. But I know I risk losing friends. And I worry what if this just a phase which passes one day and I'm left alone.

I haven’t found age of having a baby, or indeed having DC makes any difference. I have friends who are my age with the same age DC and they don’t want to do anything, I think a couple are a bit depressed (they said that, not me).
One of my good friends who is up for anything, the crazier the better is almost 62 and hasn’t had DC.

I have had a bellyful of this too. Everyone seems to be blaming 'peri' for everything ... It's becoming sinfully tedious now. Some people (around 50,) want to live the high life and go partying every weekend, and travel and go on holiday with mates. Some want to stay in and watch TV, do the garden, go for walks (alone!) and chill. Being PERI has naff-all to do with it!!! (And neither does being 50!)

I don't think it has to be either loud parties or being peaceful at home. I don't do loud parties or pubs. But there's lots of other stuff: theatre, comedy, music, talks or lectures, art exhibitions.... I do all that.

I’m extremely ‘peri’ and go on wild nights to take my mind of it. I’ve regressed back to teenager. Maybe it’s the HRT giving me a boost.

I'm the opposite as well really. My youngest is 17 and although all DCs are at home we are able to leave them. I'm 54 now.

I really felt my life as I would live it was on hold while they were growing up. Now they are more or less grown up I can do all the travelling and visiting I want to, still sometimes with them in tow.

Really hoping I have 20'years or so before I put my feet up.

I am well aware of my own experience and more aware than you are SabreIsMyFave

since starting peri menopause phase I have experienced physical and emotional changes and this has impacted my experiences in life, how I feel about myself, what I like to invest my time in doing, how I manage my relationships are sown examples

it may have not had this impact on you hut many of us recognise that it has

I've spent years partying. I always had several plates spinning too . Since January I've been forced to slow down by an illness.
I don't miss it though. I'm enjoying tame, wholesome pursuits. Good telly with a foot rub from DH. Hanging with my cats. Once a week watching TV with DS! I've never much given a shit about what other people think about what I do for fun.

Keeping in touch with my friends is important, that can be done by messages rather than face to face.

Well everyone has peri-menopause AND menopause, it just seems that 'I am PERI..' is the buzzphrase for EVERYTHING on MN this past few months. 'I am boring - is it peri?' I feel crap in everything I wear - is it peri?' 'I feel like buying some navy blue leather boots, but should I, as I'm peri?' Peri-menopausal, menopausal, post-menopausal, you are what you are. Just do what you want!

Me! Except I have an 8 year old so I’m still running about rather than resting. This weekend camping so I will be putting a massive tent up then sleeping on a single blow-up bed squished together like sardines (me, DD, Dog).

My favourite thing is to be at home pottering. I love going out for meals/drinks but I want to do it in the day so I don’t have to dress up! I can wear jeans/docs/casual & I want be home for 8pm. I also want to sit down.

The good old days of staying out all night until 9am make me shudder! I want to be at home & sip Prosecco in my own garden!

oh Yes. Home. You are not alone!!

The peri menopause for many women has a huge impact on their life

not for all women

but please do not dismiss the impact it has for many and it’s only in very recent years women have been able to acknowledge this openly and for many of us we were unaware of the impact this time can have

for myself it’s one of the most significant changes in my life as it is for many women I know

Edited. Quoted wrong poster!

@SabreIsMyFave I've not posted quoting you or anyone. And I've not commented on the peri either.

Sorry @theartfuldodger100 I mistakenly thought someone else was you. I've deleted it now.

I don't think it's boring because like you that's how I now want to live my life as I'm over 50, if other people want to be party animals they can, I don't.
I want a quiet homely life and I love it.
I also have stopped being a people pleaser and please myself.

This describes me perfectly. I’m 53 and have been like this for about 5 years.

i force myself to go out with friends at least once every couple of months so I can keep that connection but most of the time I’d rather be home.

The last time I went out, I was a bit bored , and I was antsy to get back home and it was still daylight. 😂

I have noticed how scratchy I can be if I don’t have quiet time now. I don’t want to be surrounded by other people constantly. I have cone to enjoy my own company and space. I sometimes love being in my house alone. I can actually hear myself think! My social battery is definitely waning, and my tolerance for BS.

in my 30s i worked briefly with some ladies in their 50s, i never forget one who was pleased she had spent the whole bank holiday weekend cleaning the house
whatever rocks your boat op

Finally. Another human who thinks like me.

No, I've been like this my whole life even when young 😂

I just have no interest whatsoever in anything other than the gym/running, making the home look lovely, day at the seaside or travelling to exotic places. The latter 2 aren't that easy to do on a regular basis ! Home is my safe space.

I wish I had an interest in going to the gym too. I have never gone and I never will. So much the worse for me. ( I walk everywhere though).