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Original poster

50 and becoming boring - anyone else resonate?

113 replies

theartfuldodger100 · 01/05/2024 11:35

This weekend I had the chance to go away (UK) with friends. I binned this off because I would rather be at home. Home in my comfy joggers. Home having a spring clean and looking forward to giving the house a good clean and making it smell nice and feel clean and sorted. Home so I can go on long runs. Home so I can have a BBQ (weather permitting!) and my choice of food (whereas being away and going to restaurants I am limited to the menu choices). Home so I have all my creature comforts around me. Home in my safe space. and own bed.

Is this peri ?

am I becoming boring ?

anyone else resonate ?

OP posts:
CharlotteBog · 01/05/2024 16:27

Waitingfordoggo · 01/05/2024 16:09

I’m still a few years off 50 but I’m with you already OP. I like pottering, playing word games, going for walks in the countryside, listening to informative radio programmes and baking (and eating) cakes. I don’t care what other people think about it.

I absolutely love doing all those things, too. But I also love seeing friends and travelling and going out to do my sports.
There are not enough hours in the day.

EmpressSoleil · 01/05/2024 16:27

Maybe it's also about life stage as well as age. I had my DC young. They were adults by the time I was 40. I did then spend most of that decade travelling, weekends away, going out here there and everywhere etc. I then hit 50 literally weeks before Covid/lockdown. By the time all that was over, I'd lost my momentum I guess.

But it seems that there's a significant proportion of people on MN who had kids in the age 35-40 bracket. So yes 50-55 is when you're starting to get some freedom back. So it makes sense you want to be out doing things.

It's not that I don't ever do anything now. But I'm very selective about it.

Lentilweaver · 01/05/2024 16:29

cardibach · 01/05/2024 16:27

Do it on your own! So.o theatre/travel/exercise is great!

Show quote history

Oh, I absolutely do. Been solo travelling and going to the theatre for years. Dh will come some of the time, but sometimes I like being on my own.

It's odd how we are all different.

WhimsicalMoth · 01/05/2024 16:29

@cardibach no, I'm currently not working and my only child goes to school, so I'm often on my own unless I'm seeing family.

Lentilweaver · 01/05/2024 16:33

I have also joined all manner of hobby clubs and groups now I am past 50. DH thinks I am nuts😂 I also like reading and TV- agree with pp who said TV is great these days- but not everyday.

Bluebellar · 01/05/2024 17:06

I’m early 60s and feel exactly like you OP

I did however fly off on my own for a weekend to see family recently and came back really energised ! being around people half my age their natural energy must have rubbed off on me!

Met up with a few friends I hadn’t seen for an age last week and it put me on a real high so I think deep down I do need to stray from my lovely normal on occasion 😊

reluctantbrit · 01/05/2024 17:19

I am actually the other way, with DD being nearly 17 I can finally do more things without always thinking what she is up to or needing to find something to do she also enjoys.

DH and I are doing a lot more days out without her or even just go for a coffee and letting her home.

She has ASD and we are coming out on the other side of 2 years mental health battle where we couldn't leave her alone at all, so it's so nice not to be at home or with her all the time.

We alreay think of trips to take when she is off to uni next year.

But I am definitely a case of "I don't care what you think" of my choice of reading, music and my collection of fluffy blankets.

Xmasbaby11 · 01/05/2024 17:21

I can't imagine binning off a weekend with friends to clean and exercise. Surely you can do that any time? I have 2 weekends away with friends a year and look forward to them for months!

Polishedshoesalways · 01/05/2024 18:58

I seem to be experiencing a second wind. I have just retrained - and have started booking destinations I have always wanted to see ( not just safe destinations for children) and I have revitalised my wardrobe, my priorities and myself. I love the freedom of having older and adult dc. I have booked painting trips and dropped the rope. I please myself now. No longer beholden to anyone.
We stay in much more than we used to, as I don’t have the same energy I had before. But I do still go out with friends and balance my life and energy more carefully.

If you are happy op what else matters? Invest in friendships at lunch time instead? We all have to adjust as time passes, and I am sure they won’t mind.

Polishedshoesalways · 01/05/2024 19:01

I definitely don’t think life is over - and would not be throwing away my books or dreams! There is a whole new chapter waiting!

Sheknowsaboutme · 01/05/2024 19:05

T

Sheknowsaboutme · 01/05/2024 19:07

This is me. I love being home. It makes me feel happy, content and this is what’s important for me.

I don’t have FOMO. Coming up to 50 and its never affected me so its sure as hell not gonna start now

Trainbother · 01/05/2024 19:07

No, I've gone completely the other way. I often avoided social things in my 30s and 40s when I had loads on my plate, with work and children.

Now, with a new found freedom which comes from not caring too much about work and children being independent, I'm taking every opportunity to do and see everything.

I have three trips planned during May and don't have a free Friday or Saturday night until July 😆

LuckySantangelo35 · 01/05/2024 19:20

Xmasbaby11 · 01/05/2024 17:21

I can't imagine binning off a weekend with friends to clean and exercise. Surely you can do that any time? I have 2 weekends away with friends a year and look forward to them for months!

i must admit I agree with the above! do you not clean and exercise pretty regularly? Why sack off weekend away with mates to do that stuff? @theartfuldodger100

user1471538283 · 01/05/2024 19:53

I still love going away but travel is so much more exhausting than it was. I seem to be constantly tired.

I can no longer imagine how I stayed out dancing until the early hours often on a Friday night after working all day. Now a late night takes me ages to recover. By late I mean 10pm.

I'm also not good with noise. My younger self would get excited by loud music when I was out. Now I just find it upsetting.

I think age, my experiences and the pandemic has made me less tolerant of most things.

thisnthat · 01/05/2024 20:05

I’m 53 and feel like I need to make the most of everything! I’m not going to my grave wishing I’d cleaned or stayed at home more …I am fitter, healthier, more active, sociable and confident than ever. I feel like I’ve got a minimum of 20 good years left and I’m going to make the most of every single one - my new motto is “I’m going down fighting”. I’m not going to spend a moment being moany and miserable (so many “old” people seem to be) - I want to find joy in every single day and experience everything this world has to offer. BUT if your idea of joy is pottering at home and that gives you contentment then that is brilliant too! We all have different things that make us happy.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 01/05/2024 20:10

Stop blaming everything on "peri"..... that really is boring.

But why should it not be perimenopause related? Hormones have a powerful effect on feelings and behaviour.

Original poster
theartfuldodger100 · 01/05/2024 20:17

@LuckySantangelo35 I get v little time in the week to exercise/run or clean. I work 50 hours Mon - fri. My lot at home would happily live in a shit pit. Not for me. When I have a fully clean and organised house I can then feel calm in my mind and relaxed in myself. I love the feeling of a clean and organised house

OP posts:
ThePoshUns · 01/05/2024 20:18

thisnthat · 01/05/2024 20:05

I’m 53 and feel like I need to make the most of everything! I’m not going to my grave wishing I’d cleaned or stayed at home more …I am fitter, healthier, more active, sociable and confident than ever. I feel like I’ve got a minimum of 20 good years left and I’m going to make the most of every single one - my new motto is “I’m going down fighting”. I’m not going to spend a moment being moany and miserable (so many “old” people seem to be) - I want to find joy in every single day and experience everything this world has to offer. BUT if your idea of joy is pottering at home and that gives you contentment then that is brilliant too! We all have different things that make us happy.

Absolutely this!

MermaidEyes · 01/05/2024 20:21

AbsolutelyFemale · 01/05/2024 13:48

I'm 54 and going the opposite way. You're a long time dead as my grandmother used to say. I want to experience as much as I can now I'm free childwise before I'm too old or infirm to do so.

You've just got to find your tribe I guess. I've got several groups of amazing friends and can usually find a couple who are up for whatever event I want to go to.

Yes, I'm late 40s but feel the same here. Kids growing up, we have more free time and less restraints, and the money to do what we'd like. DH and I are often out, with friends who are all very similar to us, or the kids, who enjoy different things now they're young adults. We like meals, drinks out, travelling, weekends away. It also means when I am pottering around at home, or have a day of tv and book reading, I enjoy it all the more because I'm not doing it every day.

Riverlee · 01/05/2024 21:43

“There is something extremely liberating about being an older woman who couldn't give a damn about what other people think and I am more than happy to say no to anything I don't want to do.”

So true!

SherrieElmer · 01/05/2024 21:49

Yes, you are becoming boring, and yes, it may be peri. But who gives a fuck? If you are happy that way, so be it.

abracadabra1980 · 01/05/2024 22:20

Riverlee · 01/05/2024 12:24

It’s called being content.

This. I used to be known as a party girl, but really I was just trying to do what my peers were doing and always preferred being in my bedroom as a teen, in the countryside with friends/family and my dogs, and once I moved out I just loved my four walls and never wanted to leave them. Fundamentally that is my base personality. Bloody love my home and my sofa and my plants and my pets. There is zero of interest to me outside of that, that I can put a face on for, for longer than two hours, or after 8pm 🤣 Living my best life and I love it!

Lovelyview · 01/05/2024 22:27

I'm 57 and am making a real effort to get out and do things. Once I'm doing them I feel like it's definitely worth the hassle. One area I've really let go is going out with friends locally in the evening. I do coffee, I go to gigs, comedy nights and weekends away with my husband but I just can't force myself to the pub on an evening. It's on my to do list for the near future (but not this weekend 😁)

HRTQueen · 01/05/2024 22:32

I went to Lidl today I really enjoyed myself 😊

and so happy I have only one plan this weekend

I definitely put a lot down a lot to being peri menopausal I’m a different person I don’t have the desire to experience things like I once did, I’ve always been introverted but I loved to do things go places abs travel no just not particularly fussed to and if I don’t want to do something I will now say no as I don’t care about disappointing others like I used to

it’s so liberating and I feel more content than ever